KH Survivor Malaguapu Island
by Opalynne
Summary: What would happen if you forced the characters from KH to compete against each other for 1 million dollars? Chaos and randomness! Read at your own risk...you might fry your brain...And beware of falling objects. They do seem to be everywhere.
1. Prologue

Hello! Thank u for taking the time to read this story. It is my mission in life to make random strangers laugh at least once, so if this story does that, i will be forever happy. I am a very simple person at heart...

This story has been lurking in the back of one of my notebooks for a long time and this is it's first time seeing the light of day, so be nice.

Disclaimer: I don't own kh or survivor... wouldn't know what to do with them if i did.

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-Cheesy Destiny Island music playing in the background-

Sora ran up to Riku and shouted, "Riku, let's spar!" The uber hot Riku turned around and blessed Sora with his azure gaze. His hair streamed in the wind and his teeth sparkled as he grinned. Okay, enough of that.

"Sure." he replied. Kairi brought over the wooden practice swords and handed one to each of the boys.

"Good luck you two." She said and began to get a safe distance away from the boys when all of a sudden, cheese exploded! (I kid, I kid.) When all of a sudden, everything went dark.

Sora and his friends woke up on the beach! Dum-dum-dummm!! But, they were on a different beach than the one they'd been on before! Dum-dum-dummm!! Riku looked around and exclaimed,

"Holy fudge nuggets!" Sora and Kairi looked up to see what had startled Riku and saw... the beach was full of other people, people they knew. Okay, time for a writer's convenience. Kairi stood up and exclaimed,

"Look! it's Larxene, Marluxia, Zexion, Vexen, Lexaeus, Axel, Zigbar, Demyx, Xemnas, Saix, Luxord, Sephiroth, Leon, Aerith, Xaldin, Yuffie, Cloud, Merlin, and Cid!" The red head sat down, out of breath.

There was a state of panic...I said, THERE WAS A STATE OF PANIC! Everyone started panicking and asking the typical question of "Where the hell are we?!" Suddenly, Ansem the wise emerged from the trees and spread his arms, as he addressed the gathered crowd.

"Welcome, my friends! Destiny has brought you here to compete for 1 million dollars! You guessed it, you're all on Survivor: Malahuevos Island!"

There was silence then Xigbar shouted, "This is stupid, man! I'm leaving!" he thrust his hand out and attempted to open a portal of darkens. Nothing happened. "Dude, what's goin' on?!"

"I'm sorry, but Destiny, along with some fancy darkness jamming machines, won't permit you to leave this island."

Xigbar scowled and said, "Fine. I'll just swim away!" Everyone watched as he dove into the water. He swam out a few feet then started to yell. Frantically, he swam back to shore and dislodged a piranha from his butt and threw it into the ocean.

"How the hell are there piranhas living in the ocean?! They're freakin freshwater fish!" Zigbar yelled while wringing the water from his cloak.

"Well, Destiny has turned them into mutated super piranhas." Ansem answered. Larxene stomped up to Ansem and grabbed hem by his collar and dragged him down to her level.

"How the hell am I supposed to survive without air conditioning?!"

"My dear, if it is in your Destiny, then you shall win this game along with the prize."

Larxene looked thoughtful as she released him, then said, "Alright. I'm in."

"What's with you and Destiny?" Yuffie asked.

Ansem pointed at Yuffie and commanded, "Thou shall not question Destiny! Now I will proceed to split you into teams." He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and cleared his throat. "The first team consists of:

Lexaeus

Riku

Sora

Xemnas

Vexen

Leon, and

Sephiroth.

The second team is made up of:

Larxene

Kairi

Marluxia

Xigbar

Demyx

Xaldin

Saix

Cloud

Yuffie

Aerith, and

Cid."

He threw the paper aside and said, "Now, team 1 what do you want your name to be?" There was silence and Merlin suggested tentatively,

"How about Warriors of Justice?"

"Warriors of Justice it is," Ansem said. Everyone sent glares at the wizard.

"And team 2?"

Larxene stepped forward and said, "We are the Dominators!" She looked around daring anyone to challenge her decision.

"Dominators it is. Now Destiny will transport you to your campsite where you will need to build a tree house similar to the one in Swiss Family Robinson to survive." Ansem said. Sora jumped up and exclaimed,

"Can we befriend the native monkeys and swing through the jungle all day?"

Ansem raised an eyebrow and replied, "Sure kid."

They were all transported to their destinations.

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Well that was just the prologue, but was it the most horrid story u have ever read?

Or did it amuse you?

Tell me what you think!


	2. Setting Up Camp

lalalalala and now, may i present the next chapter!

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-Camp Warriors of Justice-

Riku stood up on top of a rock and addressed the rest of his fellow survivors.

"People! We must band together to survive on this island! Let's get started on building a shelter! Now who is with me?!" Sora jumped up and down waving his arms wildly.

"I'm with you Riku!" Riku sweatdropped and asked,

"Anyone else? Annnyone?" Silence. Riku sighed and Zexion walked over to him. He faced the crowd, his expression bored.

"We might as well get started." Turning towards Axel, he said, "We'll need someone to make us a fire." The red head leapt into the air and exclaimed,

"Yes!!"

"I'll go with you to gather firewood," Zexion continued, "Sora, Vexen, you two are in charge of finding food and fresh water. The rest of you get to work on making our shelter." Everyone murmured a general agreement and got to work. Riku looked at Zexion in astonishment and asked,

"Why did they listen to you and not me?!"

Zexion shrugged, "I have a way with people." He walked away to join the overenthusiastic Axel.

"But he didn't even say anything special!" Riku exclaimed, frustrated.

"Don't get your boxers in a bunch kid." Xemnas sneered as he passed. Sephiroth was in charge of chopping down trees. (no one had dared to take his sword away from him).

"Hey look! There are some coconuts up there!" Sora said excitedly pointing higher up in the tree. Turning towards Vexen, he asked, "Can you give me a lift?"

Vexen crossed his arms and said in a monotonous voice, "I'm a scientist, not a step ladder."

Sora pouted and began to climb up the tree. He reached the coconuts and began to pick them off.

"Here, catch!" he yelled as he dropped them.

Axel and Zexion were collecting bundles of firewood when the heard a yell of pain.

"What was that?" Axel asked looking in the direction of the yell.

"I'd guess that Vexen refused to help Sora climb a tree and get some coconuts. When Sora acquired said coconuts, he dropped them onto the unwary Vexen, therefore he yelled in pain and is now most likely lecturing Sora on the importance of respecting his elders." Zexion answered as he added a stick to his pile.

"How do you do that?!" Axel asked in amazement.

Meanwhile, back at camp, Riku, Lexaeus, Leon and Xemnas were almost finished constructing the shelter. Luxord had challenged Merlin to a game - looser had latrine duty. And, of course, Luxord won and a grumbling Merlin walked off with shovel in hand. Axel and Zexion came back and dumped their load of sticks on the ground. Axel couldn't wait to start on the fire and within a few minutes, he had a roaring fire.

"Hahahahah! Burn twigs, burn!" he shouted throwing his hands towards the sky and laughing maniacally. Luxord walked over to him and smacked him over the head.

"Shut up you bloody idiot! You're scaring the children!" He pointed at Sora, Riku and Lexaeus who were all cowering behind Leon. Xemnas dragged Lexaeus out into the open with a disgusted face.

"Be a man you freakin' wienie."

Lexaeus pressed his fingers together and mumbled, "I wish I had my teddy bear..."

-Camp Dominators-

Larxene surveyed their campground and eyed the nearby waterfall. Grinning, she addressed the rest of her team.

"Here is the plan, people! Xigbar, Marluxia, Saix, Cloud and Cid - you five will get to work on building a shelter over there," She pointed vaguely near the foot of the waterfall. "Xaldin, you find the food - the rest of you come with me!"

"Why should we listen to you?" Demyx asked crossing his arms. Larxene grinned and said,

"Oh, I can think of at least one very good reason you should obey me."

Demyx turned pale and said, "Uh, guys, let's listen to her for now, okay?"

"What's wrong, Demyx?" Aerith asked looking concerned.

"N-nothings wrong! Are you kidding?! I'm just peachy! See! Peachy!" he said in an abnormally high voice with a huge fake smile plastered on his face.

"Oh, okay." Aerith said with a smile. Everyone sweatdropped and thought, _'she actually bought that?'_

So, all of the guys save Demyx and Xaldin got to work on their shelter.

"What are we doing?" Kairi asked Larxene curiously.

"We are going to build a separate camp on top of the falls." she answered as she looked for a suitable spot to start.

"Why are we separated from the boys?" Yuffie asked.

"Because we are superior women!" Larxene proclaimed clenching a fist with a fire burning in her eyes. (Axel: Back off! Fire is my thing!)

"Hey!" Demyx complained, "Why am I here then?!" Larxene smirked and said,

"Because you are going to work for us. Now get to work!"

Demyx sighed and mumbled, "Mom was right. I should've been an accountant."

As Demyx got to work on the shelter, Larxene gathered the girls together and said, "Now I will begin a ritual that will bond us as a sisterhood." She walked forward and gave each girl a leaf with the letter 'D' scraped into it. Yuffie looked at Larxene and asked, "What are we supposed to do with this?"

"Eat it of course." Larxene replied as if it was the most obvious reply in the world. The girls looked at the leaves in disdain then decided, what the heck, and ate them. Below, everyone felt a shiver go down their spines. It felt as if a great evil had been born. After the feeling of evil had passed, Marluxia rubbed his stomach and complained,

"I'm sooo hungry! Where's Xaldin?"

"He has been gone for a long time... someone should go look for him." Everyone was silent. Xigbar pointed at Saix and said, "You have been elected to find Xaldin."

Saix replied, "I don't see why that's necessary seeing as how he's right behind you."

Xigbar jumped and exclaimed, "Dude! How long have you been chillin in my shadow?!"

Xaldin was hunched over staring at a banana intently. Cid walked up to him and poked him with a stick. When he didn't respond, Cid said, "Looks like he's gone bananas!" then he began laughing at his own joke. Saix threw a coconut to him and Xigbar asked,

"Do you have any idea how far left of funny that was?"

At that moment, Marluxia came out of the trees dramatically with a rose in his mouth and waving an envelope. (No one had even noticed he'd left - poor Marly).

"Hey guys! We've got mail!"

"What is it?" Xaldin asked standing up and discarding his banana, and startling Cid.

"It's a challenge!" Xigbar said scanning the letter.

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hmmm... i wonder what the next challenge is? you'll just have to wait and see! muhahahahah 


	3. The First Challenge

READ THIS!!!! I am truly sorry, but I have just realized that when posting this story, I accidentally skipped this chapter!

Extreme blush well, here it is...

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The First Challenge 

The two teams marched up to where Ansem stood on a pretty little platform of doom and destruction. "So, what's the challenge?" Cid asked.

Ansem spread his arms wide and said, "My friends, it is in your Destiny to compete in a team obstacle course!" He pointed to a trail and continued, "The first team to make it to the river, fill their bucket with water, and return, wins. Now destiny will guide you to choose four people to not participate in this challenge."

Following many gunfights and apple pie, it was decided that Zexion, Leon, Xemnas and Sephiroth would stay out of team Warriors of Justice and Cloud, Saix, Cid and Xigbar would stay out of team Dominators. Everyone went to the starting line.

"Get ready..." Everyone tensed,

"Get set..." Everyone tensed even more,

"Bologna!" Everyone fell.

"What in the hell was that?!" Larxene screeched. Ansem chuckled and said,

"I kid, I kid, GO! (destiny!)"

The two teams sprinted through the path, pushing and shoving to get to the river first. The path stopped curving and everyone saw the river, wayyy in the distance. All of a sudden, Sora yelped as he was pulled into the air, trapped in a net.

"Soraaaaaaaah!" Riku cried in slow motion as he reached back for his friend, but couldn't get to him in the crowd. Meanwhile, Larxene was busy throwing little jolts of electricity at Demyx's feet ordering him to run faster.

"Whaaah! Why an I the only one who gets picked on?!"

Suddenly, Xaldin fell to the ground with a dart sticking out of his neck.

"What the hell kind of challenge is this?!" Axel exclaimed as he hopped over Xaldin's body. The river still wasn't any closer.

"Is it just me or are we not moving very much?" Luxord asked.

"It appears that we are running on a giant treadmill." Vexen stated examining the ground while he jogged (scientists of his caliber don't run).

Everyone collectively exclaimed, "D'oh!" and jumped off of the treadmill.

"Hey, where did Marluxia go?" Yuffie asked looking around for the pink haired man.

"He stopped to smell the roses - literally." Kairi said, scowling.

"Were almost to the -ahh!" Merlin was cut off as his feet caught on a root and he fell. Aerith stopped and asked,

"Do you need some help?" She held her hand out to the elderly man. He took the offered hand and said,

"Thank you kind woman."

"Well don't thank me yet!" She yelled with a smile as she flung the wizard into the bushes.

"Ahh! My back!" was his muted cry. Finally, the two teams reached the river and filled their buckets with water.

"Okay girls, time for plan Untouchable!" Larxene yelled out. Team Warriors of Justice was just about to run back onto the path when they were surrounded by the girls of camp Dominators.

"Move out of the way!" Riku yelled gesturing with his arm for them to clear out.

"You big strong guys wouldn't hurt us poor little girls." Kairi said smiling flirtatiously. All of the poor unsuspecting guys got nosebleeds. The girls giggled and ran off to catch up to Larxene and Demyx (who was carrying the bucket), while the guys hurriedly stuffed tissues in their noses.

"That was a dirty trick!" Riku yelled. Yuffie turned around and stuck out her tongue.

"They saw someone on the path ahead. It was Marluxia with a bouquet of freshly picked flowers. Seeing everyone else approaching, he waved and said,

"Guys, look at these beauti-" He was pushed to the ground and trampled without a second thought.

By now, team Warriors of Justice had caught up with team Dominators. 30 feet from the finish line...25...20...5,698...then back down to 20.

_'Damn them!'_ Larxene thought to herself. Then she was struck by the most original though ever - she stopped, stuck her leg out and tripped Riku, who in turn tripped Lexaeus who was carrying the water, whose ginormous body tripped Axel, Vexen, and Luxord simultaneously.

"Oh yeah! We win bitches!" Kairi shouted.

The mass heap of elbows, eardrums, legs and noses that was team Warriors of Justice groaned and tried standing up. Sephiroth, who had been sent to collect the missing contenders, returned with Xaldin draped over his shoulder (still unconscious) while dragging Sora along (who was still in the net). Marluxia was following close behind the silver haired man, crying over the demolished flowers he was cradling in his arms. Sephiroth dropped Xaldin onto the ground (where he remained unconscious) and let go of the rope he was using to drag Sora. The Keyblade Master found his way out of the net and asked dazed,

"Did we win?"

"That would be a no." Axel said flatly as Ansem declared team Dominators the winners. At that moment, Merlin wandered out of the trees and collapsed mumbling about how vicious the wildlife was.

"So, what did we win?" Yuffie asked anxiously.

"You win..." Ansem began. There was a drum roll. "Stop that!" he shouted at the little boy who had the drum. The boy sighed and walked away. "Destiny has allotted you to win...fluffy slippers!"

The girls plus Marluxia squealed in delight. The boys slapped their foreheads. Ansem turned to team Warriors of Justice and said,

"You have a date with Destiny tonight when one of you will be voted off of this island." So, with the challenge won, everyone went back to their camps.

Later that night was the first tribal council fire. Axel was having fun waving his torch back and forth ecstatically. Ansem poofed out of nowhere and said,

"People, let's vote!" So all 12 members voted. Ansem got the bucket with all of the slips of paper in it and read the first vote.

"Merlin." Merlin gulped.

"Merlin...Merlin... another Merlin." The wizard broke out in a sweat.

"Merlin." Merlin started chewing his fingernails.

"Merlin. One more vote and you're out." Merlin's eyes popped out.

"Aaand Merlin. I'm sorry but Destiny has chosen you." Ansem said throwing the votes into the fire.

"Why me?!" Merlin asked looking at his former teammates.

"Because no one likes you." Someone muttered.

"Who said that?! If I find out who said that, I don't care who you are, I'll stick my wand so far up your a-aaaaaaaaaahhh!" A trap door opened up underneath the wizard and he fell into it. Everyone stared in shocked silence. Ansem turned to them and said,

"Well? What are you waiting for? Return to your camp."

Sora stuttered, "B-but what happened to-"

"You need not concern yourself with such trivial matters." Ansem said as he faded into the shadows. Everybody looked at each other. Ansem popped back out of the shadows and yelled, "Destiny!" then he vanished again.

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sigh... review pwese 


	4. Of Battles and Coconuts

**Of Battles and Coconuts**

-Camp Dominators-

The girls were having a slipper party (which none of the boys were invited to). The boys down below were scowling as they heard the girls happy squeals.

"Well I say we have our own party!" Xigbar said jumping up.

"Now yer talkin'!" Cid exclaimed.

"Sooo...what are we gonna do?" Demyx asked.

Xaldin (who had finally woken up a few minutes beforehand) stepped forward and said,

"Let's have a battle royal." The others shrugged and okayed the idea. They all fashioned themselves weapons and decided that the first match would be Saix vs. Demyx.

Demyx took one look at Saix's giant stick and cowered in fear.

"I give up!" Demyx sobbed. The next match was Xigbar vs. Cloud.

"Move out of the way you wuss so that I can kick blondie's butt." Xigbar said pulling out two sharpened branches. Cloud pulled out his sword (which looked more like a sharpened tree trunk) Xigbar looked at his two branches and his shoulders sagged.

"Oh shit."

Cloud charged him and opened a can of whoop ass on the freelance shooter. The last match was Cid vs. Xaldin. It was an overall boring fight and no one paid attention. Marluxia had flat out refused to join the competition and was instead prancing around the campsite planting flowers. The fight ended and Xaldin won.  
"Let's all fight each other at the same time." Xaldin suggested looking at the winners of the first two bouts. So, the fight began and Xaldin was promptly knocked out by a flying radish. Cloud and Saix fought until their weapons resembled toothpicks, and when they were too small, they resorted to bitch slapping each other. Finally, Saix gave out and lost to Cloud's superior slapping abilities. After a few minutes of rest, Cid asked,

"So what are we going to do now?"

Xaldin looked thoughtful then said, "Let's do it again."

-Camp Warriors of Justice-

Riku stood up on his rock of leadership and said, "People! We need to start making things were gonna need in order to survive on this isla- hey! Are you even listening to me?! Fine then, be that way!" And Riku walked off into the forest. Xemnas was complaining to Sephiroth about their team name being Warriors of Justice.

"I mean, We're villains! We shouldn't be subjugated to this goody two shoes name! We should make that idiot Ansem change it - what do you think?"

Sephiroth looked at Xemnas and said, "Speak to me again and I will skin you alive."

Xemnas 'eeped' and ran off to talk to Lexaeus about the importance of ballpoint pens. Axel and Zexion were busy making lunch.

"Hahahah! Burn baby burn!" The pyromaniac shouted.

"Axel, if you keep saying that, it's going to get old." Zexion said with a bored expression. Vexen was busy trying to conduct very important scientific experiments. Unfortunately for him, he wasn't getting very far.

"Come on! Let's go look for monkeys!" Sora pleaded, giving Vexen his best pouting look. however, since Vexen is a cold hearted dumbass, he was immune to Sora's puppy dog expression.

"Get away from me, you filthy cretin. Don't you have someone else to annoy?" Vexen asked looking at the boy with disdain. Sora scowled and answered,

"No. Everyone else said no and Riku said he was too busy 'trying to survive'" He said the last part attempting to imitate Riku.

"That didn't even sound remotely close to Riku's voice." Vexen said.

"Yeah, I know. my mom said that I should stick to my day job." Sora said with a shrug.

"She's right. I'm still not going to play with you - it would ruin my image." Vexen said.

"What image?!" Luxord laughed as he passed them.

"Grrr! Elders your respect! I mean your elders respect! Argh, you know what I mean!" Vexen fumed.

"Foods ready!" Axel called.

Everyone came over and Axel handed them all coconuts ad bananas.

'How did you manage to burn the coconuts?" Leon asked with an eyebrow raised. It was true - all of the coconuts had scorch marks on them.

Axel grinned sheepishly and said, "Enjoy."

Right in the middle of eating their burnt coconut a la mode, a pigeon suddenly swooped down and dropped a letter in Sephiroth's coconut. The man glared bloody murder at the bird. The poor pigeon got so scared, it had a heart it had a heart attack and spontaneously combusted. Sephiroth smirked and read the letter. Looking up he said,

"Can you believe I'm actually talking about something other than mass slaughter or my hatred of Cloud?" ...Okay, I'll admit it - he didn't really say that, instead, here is what he really said, "It appears we have a challenge." Dropping the letter he walked off in a vague direction.

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Sephiroth is awesome... i just got done watching Advent Children. Most. Awesome. Movie. Ever.

review or I'll sic sephy on you! Just kidding! evil grin


	5. The Second Challenge

**The Second Challenge**

Out at sea, a dangerous force was approaching the island - one that would change all of the island's inhabitants lives forever...

The two teams arrived ready for their second challenge. Ansem was singing a song that went like this : "Destiny! Destiny! How I will follow your every order - what's that you say? Commit mass murder? Paint a fence border? Pick up the shiny quarter? If that's your order!" Realizing that he had company, he cleared his threat and had the decency to look embarrased. He was about to continue speaking when aomeone called out,

"Hey! You weren't about to start the challenge without me, were you?!" A girl with long black hair (and exciting pink streaks in it!) pulled up into a pony tail approached. She was dressed simply - shorts and a t-shirt that read 'taco of doom'.

"Who are you?" Ansem asked confused.

"Why, I'm the host of this show!" she said, "I'm the great and all mighty Imogene!" A look of realization crossed Ansem's face and he said,

"Oh... your'e the new intern- wait, hold on a second I'm-a-genie-"

"I'ts Imogene!"

"Whatever. Lets get one thing straight. I am the host here - not you!"

'But I wanna be the host!"

"Never! I went to college to prepare for this job adn you can't take it from me!"

Imogene got a dangerous glint in her eyes. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a pair of sunglasses. She put them on in a fluid motion and pointed a finger at Ansem. "Prepare to loose your crown capitain underpants!"

"Underpa-?" Before Ansem could finish his question, Imogene charged him. With one good punch, Ansem was out, droolling in the sand.

"Anyways, as he was saying, today's challenge will be a game of luck. There are 19 covered platters with some king of food underneath them. Each team chooses 3 people to participate. First team to finish eating 9 platters wins."

The gathering of people looked from Imogene to the unconcious Ansem. They decided to just go with it.

"Where's the challenge in that?" Larxene asked. Imogene chuckled and said,

"Some if those platters have quite unpleasant things in them." There were some nervous glances at the platters.

Sora, Luxord and Lexaeus were elected from team Warriors of Justice. Larxene, Xaldin and Yuffie were the contenders from team Dominators.

"Oh, and one more thing - once you have lifted the lid you must eat whatever is on the platter." Imogene said, "Now ready, set, popcorn!" Everyone glared at the girl. "Sheesh, you guys are no fun. Go!"

Lexaeus picked up his first lid and got 4 sticks of celery. "Ewww. I hate celery." he said before he started eating.

Sora lifted his and got cottage cheese. "Aww man..." He looked at Luxord to see if he had faired any better and saw to his astonishment that the gambler had a slice of pizza and was eating it quite contently. Xaldin got squash with vinegar sauce. Yuffie got a grapefruit. Larxene got a stick of butter.

"This is going to ruin my figure!" she complained. This continued for a while.

Xaldin was on his 3rd plate and he picked up the lid to find...Escargot! He took one look at the dish and fainted.

"It can't be that bad." Yuffie said looking over to his dish. Seeing the food, she fainted as well.

"Damn it! You wussies!" Larxene screamed as she stuffed lima beans in her mouth. Ansem sighed and said,

"Looks like the poor souls got it by the fainting snail's aura. It's a new species found off the coast of Canada."

"When did you wake up?!" Kairi exclaimed.

"Wouldn't you like to know..." Ansem said suspiciously raising an eyebrow.

"Well you can bet your entire collection of eighties peace medalions that I won't give up!" Imogene exclaimed as she threw down a smoke bomb and ran off into the cover of the trees. So, after that little episode, team Warriors of Justice were declared as the winners of the challenge.

"What's the prize? What's the prize?!" Sora asked jumping up and down.

"You win Bob the Builder blankies!" Ansem said. "Congratulations! (Destiny!)"

"Yay!" Sora squealed and broke out in a rendition of the Bob the Builder theme song.

Suddenly, Sephiroth came out of the trees and said, "Prepare for a fight."

"Umm, you're a little late." Riku said breaking the news to the man.

"You got lost, didn't you?" Cloud asked, smirking

"Shut up emo boy." Sephiroth replied.

-At Council Fire-

Team Dominators sat nervously as the final person cast their vote. (Xaldin was still unconscious so he didn't get to vote). Ansem poofed out of nowhere and began tallying the votes. When he was finished, he said, "There are 2 votes for Xaldin, 1 for Larxene and 8 for Cid. I'm sorry Cid, but it is not in your Destiny to compete any further than this." Ansem extinguished Cid's flame.

"Well that sucks. I didn't even make it past the first round." Cid said, "I thought I was the hippest young thing to ever hit the beach but it looks like I was wrong...Oh well, at least I get to go home and watch my favorite soaps all daaaaaaaaaaaay!!"

Yep, you guessed it - it was the trap door again.

"Oh my holy corndogs!" Demyx exclaimed, "Is he okay?!"

"Who cares? Let's go." Larxene said irritably. So they all went back to their campsite where they dreamt of eating cotton candy and throwing oranges.

* * *

review and tell me who you think is next to get voted off of the island.

You may be right - then again, you may be wrong. heh


	6. Bob Fever

Hi there - sorry it's been a long time since I last updated, but i've been kinda busy (and lazy). Hopefully, I will get back to updating weekly.

So enjoy this installment of KINGDOM HEARTS SURVIVOR!!!!

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Chapter 5 Bob Fever

-Camp Warriors of Justice-

Sora was going through an 'I love Bob the Builder' phase. And once again, Vexen was the poor soul stuck with the energetic boy.  
" And guess what happened next?" Sora asked with his eyes sparkling so much, that Vexen made a mental note to buy a mew pair of sunglasses.

"He fixed it?" Vexen asked in a flat tone.

"Yep! He fixed it!" Sora exclaimed nearly bursting with happiness. He tied his blankie around his neck and ran around the campsite, shouting, "We can fix it, yes we can! We can fix it, yes we can! We can fix it, yes we-" Sora was unable to finish his chant due to Leon 'accidentally' smacking him upside the a head with a plank. He collapsed face first into the sand muttering, "I took one for the team, Bob..."

"Argh! I'm so hungry!" Axel complained making a sand angel. Riku came walking back from the beach with a wooden rod and 3 medium sized fish. Everyone stared at the teen.

"What?" he asked.

"Fish..." Axel drooled.

"Oh no you don't! Go make yourselves fishing poles and get your own lunch!" Riku shouted holding his fish protectively. There was a rush as everyone ran to find ways to spear a fish.

"Green beans!" Riku exclaimed as he went to cook his fish.

-Camp Dominators-

The camp was deathly silent. Everyone was in a line while Larxene paced back and forth.

"Now, are you gonna tell me who voted to kick me out of camp?!" She asked, her eyes glittering malevolently. When she got no reply, she picked up a handful of sand and exclaimed, "Where's the beef?!" as she threw the sand at the assembly. Demyx ducked dawn and said sadly,

"Now's the time to kiss our butts goodbye, people cuz she's going into crazy shouting mode!"

"YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING SAVAGES! IF I EVER FIND OUT WHO VOTED FOR ME, I WILL PERSONALLY RIP THEIR HEAD OFF, SHOVE TOOTHPICKS THROUGH THEIR EARS, COOK THEM IN OIL AND FEED THEM TO MY PET TERRIERS! NOW GET ME SOME FOOD!" She screamed. Everyone ran off to find Larxene some food, with the exception of Cloud who hadn't been listening in the first place.

Suddenly, everyone's attention was drawn to the ground, as something was digging just underneath the surface. Up popped... a beaver! With a letter in it's mouth! Larxene took the letter, kicked the beaver, ate a banana, then read the note.

"The next challenge has been announced." She said and walked off.

"Wow, this chapter was short!" Xigbar exclaimed as he followed the others.

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Reviews are very much appreciated -


	7. The Third Challenge

Chapter 6 The Third Challenge

"Today's challenge is a race to find a treasure. Each team will start from a different location. First team to the treasure wins - loosing team has to go to council fire." Ansem announced. However, before he could announce the start of the challenge, there was a poof of smoke. Making her appearance was Imogene.

"Um, nice clothes." Xemnas said. The said youth was dressed in a pirate costume - complete with a eye patch.

"I like your style!" Xigbar said flashing her a thumbs up sign.

"Argh, only wet bearded dolphin kissers give the thumbs up sign!" Imogene said in a very pirate-like voice.

"What in the world does that mean?" the Nobody asked.

Before she could answer, Sora shouted out, "AWESOME! I've always wanted to be a pirate!" the boy ran to Imogene and asked, "Will you teach me your ways of pillaging and witty banter?"

"Ye be a cute kid, but yer distractin' me from my original purpose." Imogene said ruffling Sora's hair.

She pulled out a stuffed parrot and yelled out, "Go, beaky! Destroy!" (all the while, laughing maniacally). Taking aim, she threw the toy at Ansem, who caught it and looked at it in confusion.

"Damn! He be stronger than I anticipated!" Imogene muttered. "Time to pull out me secret weapon!" she yelled reaching into her pocket and taking out…a walnut. Ansem burst out into laughter.

"You do realize that is a walnut, right?!"

"I be well aware of that. However, don't underestimate the power of this little thing…" Imogene said dangerously.

Ansem gulped in anticipation. Imogene threw the nut into the air. Ansem watched nervously. Quite suddenly, the pirate girl launched a surprise attack on Ansem, punching him in the face. The man fell back onto the sand as the walnut fell back into Imogene's hand.

"Like I said, don't underestimate the walnut." She said smugly. She turned to the two teams and said, "Well, what ye be waitin' for? Go to yer startin' points!"

The two teams hurried to their designated starting points. Imogene was about to give the signal for them to go, when the supposedly unconscious Ansem grabbed her by the ankle and pulled her to the ground. He stood up, dusting his clothes off, and said, "When will you ever learn? I am the only one who is qualified for this job." Imogene mumbled something incoherent and disappeared into a puff of smoke. Ansem turned back to the waiting teams. No one had a response to the little scene. "Gook luck, and may destiny be with you." He said.

"Your whole destiny thing is getting old." Kairi commented.

"Shut up wench! I hope you loose!" Ansem exclaimed pointing at the red head. Regaining his composure, he yelled, "GO!"

-With team Warriors of Justice

Team warriors of Justice was running along the path dodging charging rhinos and the occasional pile of dung. Then they came to a cliff! Dum-dum-dum!

"Oh what ever are we going to do?!" Xemnas exclaimed faintly.

Sora started jumping up an down excitedly and called out, "Monkey brethren! Hear my call! Help us cross this cliff of evil algae by teaching us your infinitely wise ways!"

There was silence. Riku leaned over and whispered to Axel, "I didn't know that he even knew half of those words."

Then, out of nowhere, monkeys came towards them swinging on vines. They landed, keeping a hold of the vines. Sora bowed and said,

"I am honored."

"He's unusually grave." Axel commented to Riku. The silver haired teen had an I've-known-him-longer-than-you-and-this-won't-last-long look on his face.

"Just wait for it..." he said.

Sora jumped up and exclaimed, "Can I ride the vines now pleeease?!"

"See I told you." Riku said.

The monkeys gave each person a vine and walked away. Now, at this point anyone who was even remotely cool was thinking one thing: Dear God, why me? **(A/N: **not that Sora isn't cool, just for purposes of this story -

"Come on, guys! Do you want to lose the challenge?" Sora prompted. Everyone sighed and swallowed their pride. And they swung. They got to the other side of the cliff and released the vines.

Riku turned to the others and said, " As soon as we leave here, we forget this ever happened."

"Agreed." Everyone said simultaneously. Then they went to catch up to Sora, who had gone on ahead.

-With team Dominators

Team Dominators had arrived at the cliff that team Warriors of Justice had been at only moments before.

"Damn it! How are we supposed to get across this?!" Larxene asked viciously kicking a tree. Then from the treetops, descended the monkeys swinging on their vines.

"Look! We can use those vines to get across!" Yuffie said pointing at the monkeys.

"Aww... What cute monkeys." Aerith said smiling as she pet the nearest monkey. Then she picked up the animal and threw it into the bushes where it screeched bloody monkey.

"Girls, follow suit!" Larxene commanded. The poor monkeys were viciously overthrown by team Dominators. "Hah! You though you could stand up to me, the supreme ruler of all-" She was cut off as one of the monkeys threw dung at her face before it retreated into the trees. She wiped the crap off of her face and screamed, "Get back here you monkeys! I will kill you! Your filthy breed has earned my enmity for all eternity! Now get your-"

Kairi quickly covered Larxene's mouth and said, "Hey! This story doesn't allow such heavy cussing."

"Do you think I care?!" She yelled as she tried to pull free from Kairi's grasp.

"They are too far away to feel your wrath by now." Xaldin said.

"Yeah, lucky them." Xigbar muttered.

Larxene glared at him. He 'eeped' and said, "I'm going now!" Grabbing one of the vines, he swung across the cliff. Grumbling, Larxene followed suit, along with the rest of the team.

-With team Warriors of Justice

Team Warriors of Justice had come to a fork in the road.

"Which one should we take?" Luxord asked.

"I've got a hunch that the treasure is in that direction." Sora said pointing to the path on the left

"Why should we listen to you?" Vexen asked crossing his arms.

Xemnas whacked the scientist and said, "Man, don't you ever watch movies? The good guy's hunch is always right!"

"That isn't a very scientific method of determining which way to go..." Vexen mumbled as he followed the others to the left fork. They reached a clearing, and in the middle sat a huge treasure chest!

"It's the treasure!" Axel exclaimed. They ran to be the first ones to reach the chest, and were mere yards away when cage bars sprang up and caged team Warriors of Justice.

"The hunch is always right, huh?" Vexen asked smugly.

"Well, there's a first time for everything." Xemnas said embarrassed like a third grader in a cheese shop. Then, team Dominators emerged from the trees and into the clearing.

"Hahahahahah! Losers!" Yuffie exclaimed pointing at the trapped team.

Zexion, Leon, and Sephiroth replied, "Whatever."

"Well, this sucks." Axel said as team Dominators claimed victory.

"Let's see what's in the trunk!" Kairi exclaimed. Larxene nodded and was about to open the trunk when it opened of its own accord, and out popped Ansem!

"Dude! How'd you get here before us?!" Xigbar asked.

"I have my ways..." Ansem said hiding what looked like a baseball bat behind his back.

"What did we win?" Saix demanded.

"You won hats!" Ansem said happily pulling out a bag of assorted hats.

"That's all?!" Demyx exclaimed.

"Well, that and a stock of food, but I don't see how that's more important." Ansem continued with a shrug.

"Oh, that doesn't matter at all." Demyx said sarcastically.

Ansem turned to the other team and said, "Destiny will see you tonight..."

-at council fire-

Ansem walked up to team Warriors of Justice who had assembled with their torches and jazz ready to kick one of their not so beloved teammates off of the island. "So what has Destiny taught you these past few days?" Ansem asked the group.

"Never eat wet noodles after swimming?" Sora offered.

"This place sucks?" Xemnas said.

"No, the proper response would be that life is unfair. Well, with that aside, let's vote." Se, the voting went under way and Ansem counted the votes.

"And the next castaway to be voted off is...Lexaeus!" The man stood up and asked with his thumb in his mouth,

"B-but why me?"

"Because you're so obviously on steroids." Xemnas said.

"Because you haven't said anything for the least two chapters." Luxord said.

"Yes I did..." Lexaeus countered pulling the script book out of his pocket and flipping through it.

"Well, what do you know? I haven't..." Then mean old Mr. trap door opened and Lexaeus screamed as he fell.

The group was silent then Axel spoke up, "You know...he never denied the steroids."

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lalalala, can I get some feedback? Maybe that will make me update faster. 


	8. Hats are Beings of Darkness

Hey guys, sorry for the long delay, but i've just gotten sooooo lazy sigh again. Yeah, I know that it's not a good thing, but...I forgot what I was going to say. I blame the heartless!!!

Anyway, we last left off where Lexaeus got the boot from team WoJ after team Dominators won the challenge (which I don't remember what said challenge was at the moment) and won the prize of food and hats.

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Chapter 7 Hats are Beings of Darkness

**-Camp Dominators-**

Yuffie and Marluxia were digging through the bag of hats.

"Ooh! I get the pink one! (It matches my hair)!" Marluxia exclaimed pointing at a fluffy pink hat with a flower of it. Kairi's ears perked up at this and yelled,

"Hey! Pink is my color! Get your homosexual hands off of it!" Electricity shot between the two of them as they pounce on each other.

"Cat fight!" Xigbar yelled. He turned to see Xaldin absorbed in the crate of food muttering recipes.

Yuffie then took it upon herself to distribute the hats among the peoples. She walked up to Demyx and gave him a light blue French painter type hat. He thanked her a bit uncertainly as he examined the hat. Larxene ran to the wannabe ninja girl, snatched the bag and started to dig through the hats. She pulled a black witch hat out and said, "I like this one." She put it on and walked away.

Yuffie took the bag back and gave Xigbar a top hat.

"Whee! Top hat!" he exclaimed spinning around like a rusty walrus. Xaldin got an outrageously patriotic cap with glitter and such. He had no response to this. Aerith got a scarf that could turn into a hat! Whoever thought that up is a friggin genius! Yuffie herself got a smushy yellow hat. Saix got a Peter Pan hat - red feather and all.

Marluxia and Kairi's cat fight had finally ended with Marluxia himself as the victor. He smiled to himself and put the hat onto his head and walked away. When Yuffie got to the red headed girl, she grumbled, "Just give me a damn hat." So Kairi got a turban.

"Cloud, it looks like you get the leftovers." Yuffie said fishing the last hat out of the bag... which turned out to be a red sox baseball cap. Cloud glared at the hat. Yuffie reached up to put the hat on Cloud's spiky hair when it suddenly grew and impaled the hat. The ninja girl stared, frozen in shock as Cloud's hair returned to its normal length.

"Oh well, looks like I can't use the hat now." Cloud said in a falsely sad voice.

"W-what?! Did your hair just-"

"You saw nothing." the man said as he walked away to climb a tree.

**-Camp Warriors of Justice-**

"Awww...I'm sooo hungry!" Sora whined.

"It's your fault we're all starving and hatless!" Xemnas yelled.

"Waaaaaa! Riku! He's being mean to me!" Sora cried tugging on the older teen's sleeve. Riku rolled his eyes and said half heartedly,

"Xemnas, stop bullying Sora."

"No." Was the nobody's haughty reply.  
"Okay, I tried." Riku said with a shrug.

"Rikuuu!" Sora cried.

"You actually put up with him every day? No wonder you turned to the dark side." Zexion commented as he watched the Keyblade master's antics.

"Don't remind me." Riku said holding his face in his hands.

-flashback-

Riku ran around a huge gummi ship shouting, "Whee! Darkness is fun! It's even better than chap stick and Disney world combined!" Suddenly, a man in all black with a weird mask stepped out the shadows.

"Her...bert...her...bert..." the figure said.

"Who's Herbert?" Riku asked puzzled.

"No one. I'm just breathing." the enigma replied, "Now draw your weapon!" The man pulled out a lightsaber and charged Riku who pulled out his own lightsaber and they fought a climactic battle. Then, the man pointed over Riku's shoulder and exclaimed, "Is that a kitty?!"

"Where?!" Riku spun around and the masked man cut his hand off. "Ahh! My hand!" the teen wailed holding his arm. "What did you do that for?!" he cried.

The figure was silent then he said, "Riku...I am your father."

"WTF?!?! B-but mom always said that my day was a carpenter who lost his job and joined the circus!" Riku cried, his mind reeling.

"Hehe, that sounds like your mother." the man said, chuckling.

-end flashback-

"You still there?" Zexion asked waving his hand in front of Riku's face.

"Huh? Oh yeah. Anyway, Sora is only like this when he doesn't take his meds. And since we've been on this island, he hasn't taken any so...he's like that." Riku gestured toward Sora who was attempting to break dance on the sand.

"Hey wait - how did you get your hand cut off in the flashback if you still have both hands attached?" Vexen asked, perplexed.

Riku held up his hand and said, "Stitches! Duh!"

"Oh." the scientist replied.

Suddenly, Sora pointed out to sea and exclaimed, "Look! It's a whale!"

"Why is it so close to shore?" Vexen murmured, stroking his chin. The whale shot water out of it's blowhole and onto the castaways. Then it unbleached itself and swam away.

"There was a letter contained in that water." Luxord commented as he picked up a bottle with a message rolled up inside of it. "It looks like this is our next challenge." he said as he read the letter.

"Yay! Let's go!" Sora exclaimed.

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Review if you want my lazy streak to end! 


	9. The Fourth Challenge

Hey everyone, once again, I am sooooo sorry for my long lardness period of not updating. I just had no inspiration. So, to make up for it, I will post two chapters today!

* * *

Chapter 8 The Fourth Challenge

"Today's challenge is a team swim off!" Ansem announced.

"Today's challenge is a team swim off!" Imogene repeated in a singsong voice. Today, the eccentric girl was dressed in a black formfitting sparkly dress. Her hair was twisted in an elegant bun with a few strands escaping.

Ansem did his best to ignore her and continued. He pointed to a buoy that was floating out in the water. "First team to have all of its members touch the buoy and swim back to the beach wins."

"First team to have all of its members touch the buoy and swim back to the beach wiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnssss!" Imogene carried the last note for an impossibly long time, and Larxene said so. "Nothing is impossible for me!" the girl said, waving a hand in the air.

"Why don't you shut your annoying yappers and let me start the challenge!" Ansem shouted.

"Hey, um, why aren't you going all...psycho and stuff trying to take Ansem's job from him?" Yuffie asked.

Imogene blinked. "Good question. Minions! Have a kung-fu fight and tell me when it's over!" she shouted to a waiting pack of Leprechauns as she sat down under an umbrella and took a sip of apple juice. Ansem screamed as the little green men charged him.

From the mass of little green hats and red beards, Ansem yelled out, "Begin the challenge!"

Since they had one team member more than team Warriors of Justice, team Dominators left Xigbar out of the competition (he refused to get near the water because of the piranha incident).

"Ready, set, Go!"

The challenge began as Luxord and Marluxia jumped into the water and started swimming. Luxord got a slight lead, and next up were Yuffie and Axel.

"You're goin' down ninja girl!" Axel exclaimed to the girl next to him.

"In your dreams you psychotic pyromaniac!" They swam feverishly and Axel ended up getting to the beach before Yuffie. Then next up were Kairi and Riku. Just as they were about to jump into the water, Kairi pointed and exclaimed, "Is that a kitty?!"

"Where?!" Riku spun around as Kairi jumped into the water.

"Grrr! I can't believe that I fell for that again!" Riku shouted as he tried to catch up to Kairi. Despite his best efforts, Kairi still got to shore before he did. Xaldin jumped in as Riku got to shore and tagged Sora. The Keyblade master swam out then called,

"Hey look at me everyone! I'm swimming with the dolphins!" Sora leapt out of the water accompanied by two dolphins.

"Sora, forget the stupid dolphins and swim!" Riku shouted. Sora pouted but stopped goofing around. By the time he had touched the buoy, Xaldin had already finished his lap and tagged Larxene into the water.

"How are we gonna catch up now?!" Axel asked as Sora climbed out of the water.

"Don't worry - I may not look it, but I was once a pro swimmer." Leon said stepping into the water. Then he started swimming and promptly passed Larxene up and beat her to the beach. Everyone gaped at the man as he got out of the water.

"Xemnas - you're up." Riku said. The Nobody walked to the edge of the water. "What are you waiting for? Go!" Riku yelled pushing him into the water.

"Aaaah! Help! I can't swim!" Xemnas screamed in a high pitched voice.

"You're kidding me, right?" Riku asked. They turned to Ansem. The man was still fighting with the leprechauns and yelled out,

"Xemnas doesn't have to participate, but team Dominators must take one of their members out as well!" So Cloud was taken out of the race too.

"Now how are we going to catch up?" Axel asked again.

"Don't worry - I may not look it, but I was once a pro swimmer." Zexion said stepping into the water.

"You too?!" Everyone exclaimed. Zexion jumped into the water and went fast enough to catch up to Demyx, who exclaimed that 'he was the water guy - how could he loose?'. Finally, it came down to the last two swimmers - Aerith and Vexen. They were wading out into the water when Aerith held out her hand and said,

"May the best person win."

"Finally, someone showing respect to their elders!" Vexen said shaking the woman's hand. Aerith smiled and with a yell, tossed the scientist back onto the beach. Aerith leapt into the water and began swimming furiously.

Vexen lifted his head out of the sand and sputtered, "That was NOT respect!"

So, sadly, team Warriors of Justice lest to team Dominators.

"Damn guys. We suck." Axel said kicking the sand. There was a general murmur of agreement.

Ansem stepped forward (he had finally gotten away from the leprechauns) and said, "Destiny has concluded that team Dominators has won the challenge, along with the prize - lots and lots of food."

And there was much rejoicing.

"Sadly, team Warriors of Justice will be required to attend tribal council tonight."

And there was much rejoicing.

-at tribal council-

Everyone was in a pissy mood that night.

"I blame you!" Luxord shouted pointing at Vexen.

"I blame you!" Vexen shouted pointing at Axel.

"Well I blame him!" Axel exclaimed pointing at a duck wearing a shirt with some bling hanging around it's neck.

"I blame you!" the duck shouted pointing at Xemnas.

"Let's just all blame Sora and stop this silly arguing." Xemnas replied.

"Heeey!" Sora cried.

Ansem (who was covered in bruises and scrapes) cleared his throat and said, "Well, now that that's over , may the voting begin!" He pulled out a pistol and shot it into the air. Everyone leapt into action and began an all out war. Xemnas punched Sora. Luxord kicked Xemnas. Riku threw rocks. Axel dodged rocks. Leon and Sephiroth had a glaring contest. Zexion fell asleep. Finally, Ansem shouted out, "Enough! The voting has come to an end!" The fighting stopped and everyone awaited Ansem's verdict. "The next person to leave Malaguapu island is...Luxord!"

The trap door opened and Luxord fell through it shouting, "Bloody Hell!!!"

Ansem chuckled and said, "Only the strong survive in the jungle."

"In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lions sleep tonight!" Sora sang.

"Knock it off!" Xemnas said smacking Sora upside the head.

"And so concludes another chapter." Riku said.

And there was much rejoicing.

* * *

Princess of Oblivion: Hey, Sephy, where are you in this chapter? 

Sephiroth: You forgot about me and because you didn't want me to feel left out, you are adding me in this little author's note

PoB: Yep. Now I hope you're happy that I'm interrupting the flow of the story to put you in.

Sephiroth: No, I'm not. I will never be happy...

PoB: Well make yourself happy.

Sephiroth: Okay. impales author with sword

PoB: You'd better appreciate this...falls to the ground semi-dead


	10. Donuts are like Drops of Rain

Chapter 10 Donuts are like Drops of Rain

-Camp Dominators-

"Foooood!" Kairi exclaimed stuffing food in her face.

"Hey Kairi! Pass me a donut!" Yuffie called to the red head.

"No!" she exclaimed huddling over the food, "My donut!"

"Kairi, just give me a frikin' donut." Yuffie said, exasperated.

"Never!" She shouted with a deranged expression on her face.

Yuffie sighed, "Fine then. I'll just have to ask the deity of donuts for help." Yuffie proceeded to paint her face and skip around the camp shouting to the sky, "Please oh master of all that is round and sugary, send us some donuts!

Suddenly, storm clouds came out of nowhere and donuts began to fall from the sky. Everyone gaped at the donuts of all shapes as sizes that were raining down upon them.

"Dude, this is sooo rad!" Xigbar exclaimed stuffing his face full of sugary goodness. And so they all started eating.

-Camp Warriors of Justice-

Sora sat straight up and exclaimed, "My sugar senses are tingling!" And with that, he got up and ran across the beach and into the trees, disappearing from sight.

"Well, that was weird." Axel commented.

-Camp Dominators-

Aerith paused from eating her donut and asked, "Does anyone hear that?"

"Hear what?" Larxene asked. There was an ominous rumbling and something shot out of the trees. Marluxia screamed in surprise and Kairi exclaimed,

"It's Sora!'

"Donuts!" Sora exclaimed ecstatically jumping into the air and catching a pastry with his mouth. Finishing off the donut quickly, he ran around crawling on all fours and barking like a dog.

"Somebody catch that crazy kid!" Larxene screeched. Saix and Xigbar ran towards Sora who was crouched on the ground munching on a banana crème donut. Just as he was about to be caught by them, he jumped away with a bark, leaving the two men to crash into each other.

"I really hate that kid." Saix muttered rubbing he forehead.

Yuffie clasped her hands together and said, "Oh great Deity of donuts, please help us stop this donut crazed young man!"

"Why are you so obsessed with donuts?" Demyx asked.

"Didn't I tell you? I am the leader of NFDW, the National Federation of Donut Worshipers." Yuffie said pointing to a bright yellow sash she was wearing. It read NFDW in bold blue letters.

"Oh Yuffie, you're so talented!" Aerith smiled.

"Good gravy!" Marluxia yelled pointing up at the sky.

"OMG! It's a giant donut!" Demyx exclaimed. Every man women and child ran away screaming, trying to avoid the wrath of the giant donut. Only Sora stayed behind.

"Oooo...donut..." he said moments before the enormous pastry landed on top of him, completely covering the Keyblade master.

-Camp Warriors of Justice-

"Sora sure has been gone for a long time..." Riku murmured.

"I'm sure the little schizophrenic is fine." Axel said sticking random objects into the fire.

"I hope he fell into a hole somewhere far away from here and died." Vexen said wishfully crossing his arms.

"Someone is approaching the camp." Sephiroth stated leaning nonchalantly against a tree. just as his poke, three figures emerged from the trees carrying a limp Sora. Larxene ordered Saix and Xaldin to release the boy, and he fell limply to the ground with a blissful smile pasted on his face.

Riku ran to his side, then asked with a puzzled expression. "Why is he covered with glaze?"

"'Don't ask." Saix said bluntly. They were all startled when Sora barked in his sleep then started twitching.

Ignoring Sora, Xemnas pointed at Larxene and shouted, "Your team's winning streak has come to an end!"

A vein showed up on Larxene's forehead and she shouted back. "Oh, I'll get you my pretty! And your little dog too!" She threw Sora a disdainful look then turned around and stalked away, followed closely by her two little henchman.

"Why that insufferable-" Xemnas began.

"You really don't like her, do you?" Leon asked with an I-don't-care-and-I-don't-know-why-I'm-asking expression on his face.

"Well, she wasn't always like that..." Xemnas trailed off, remembering better times.

-flashback-

Larxene and Xemnas sat at the table, eating dinner in the large dining room of Castle Oblivion.

Xemnas looked up from his plate and asked, "Larxene, could you pass me the salt?"

"Sure Xemmy." the blonde replied, handing the nobody the salt shaker.

"Hey...wait a second. We're nobodies...do we even need food?" she asked.

Xemnas shrugged, "Beats me." And they went back to eating.

-end flashback-

Xemnas was zapped out of his flashback when something whizzed past his face. "We're under attack!" Vexen yelled running for cover. A pack of ninjas appeared and began to jump around and throw shuriken. then, just as quickly as the appeared, they disappeared in a poof of smoke. "Is it over?" Vexen asked from the bushes.

"Yes." Zexion answered walking away.

"Where are you going?" Axel called.

"We got out next challenge from those ninjas." he said holding a note up over his shoulder for everyone to see.

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Tell me what you thought I love feedback - 


	11. The Fifth Challenge

The Fifth Challenge

Ansem stood on a podium that had 'Destiny' labeled all over it, with Imogene standing next to him with her hair in two pigtails. She was wearing shorts and a shirt that had a picture of Barney on it.

"What's the deal with that...interesting shirt?" Demyx asked.

"Do you like it?" Imogene asked in a childish voice.

"Well...uh, not really."

Imogene's gleeful expression turned the color of evil and she shouted, "Well I don't like your face!"

Demyx squealed and stepped back a few feet.

"Today's challenge, my friends, is an archery contest."

"That doesn't sound too hard." Xigbar said with a grin.

Ansem smiled and said, "Oh, but this is no ordinary archery contest..." he started to laugh maniacally then he started coughing.

"Um... are you okay?" Yuffie asked uncertainly.

"You saw nothing!" Ansem screamed at the ninja girl who jumped in surprise. Composing himself, Ansem continued. "Now friends, let the arrows of Destiny fly!" He paused for dramatic effect, then snickered, "Get it? Arrows? We're having an archery contest?" No one laughed. "Fine. Just grab a bow and form a line." he muttered darkly. "However, due to the imbalance in the number of people, two members of team Dominators must sit out the challenge." So it was decided that Aerith and Kairi would sit out the challenge.

"I made the bows myself!" Imogene added proudly.

The teams did as they were instructed and each person picked up a bow and two arrows. Kairi and Aerith walked over to the shade of the trees and started to play old maid while the first two competitors stepped forward, facing a target.

"If you hit the target, you will score a point for your team. Now, begin!"

First up was Axel. "Yeah! Now watch me win us a point, guys!" he exclaimed fitting an arrow and taking aim. However, just before he let his shot fly, the bow snapped in half and the arrow fell to the floor. Axel stared at the shattered remains of his bow then looked back to Ansem and whispered, "I broke my bow..."

Imogene giggled and said, "Those bows can detect the fear and doubt hidden in your hearts. They react to that by snapping."  
"What?! That's ridiculous! I don't have any fear of doubt in my heart - I haven't even got one!"

Ansem sighed and handed Axel a new bow. "Just take your last shot you scared and doubt ridden fool." Axel took the bow roughly and shot Ansem an angry look. Then he hit the target and stalked away grumbling.

Next up was Demyx and, like Axel, his bow broke on his first shot. "Man, why me?" Demyx whined as his second shot missed the target by several feet. The poor blonde walked off and joined Aerith and Kairi. Next was Sora.

"Are we sure it's a good idea to let Sora use anything potentially dangerous?" Vexen asked a bit nervously. He looked to Riku and saw that the teen had couched down and was covering his head. "What on earth are you doing?" the chilly academic asked.

"Better safe than sorry." came Riku's muffled voice. Vexen crossed his arms.

"Hmph. You can cower in the sand all you want. I, however, will not stoop to such-" Vexen was knocked off his feet as an arrow came flying mere inches from his face.

"Sorry about that!" came Sora's cheerful voice. Vexen crawled over to where Riku was crouched.

"You were saying?"

"Shut up!"

Sora's second shot passed the target completely and flew into the trees, disappearing from sight.

"I'll get it!" Sora exclaimed happily and ran off into the trees in search of his arrow.

"Sora! Come back!" Riku called lifting his head out of the sand. But his calls were to no avail as the boy was already gone.

Next up was Xigbar. "Dude! I am the freelance shooter! I'm totally gonna make two-" his bow broke, "one shot!" He fired his second arrow and it hit the target almost exactly in the center. Up next was Leon. He picked up the bow and fired two arrows at the same time. Both hit the target and he walked off with a smirk.

"Dude, you totally pwned that target!" Xemnas exclaimed. He was promptly sued for trying to imitate a gangsta. Leon ignored him and walked over to the shade.

Marluxia stepped up and declared, "The power of flowers will lead me to victory!" To everyone's surprise, Marluxia's bow did not break and both of his shots hit the target. Everybody stared in shock as Marluxia rejoiced and threw flower pedals as he bounded off to the shade.

Recovering, Ansem said, "As of now, the score is: team WoJ- 3 team Dom-3."

"Let's go team, you can do it!" Imogene cheered. Then she glared at Demyx again. The Melodious Nocturne whimpered and hid behind a mailbox.

Riku was up next. Like most of the others, his bow broke. The silver haired teen cursed then grabbed a new bow. However, as soon as he touched it, the darn thing combusted and turned into a shriveled husk. Riku sighed dejectedly and dragged himself over to the others with a dazed expression on his face.

"Hey, its alright. This isn't the end of the world." Axel said clapping Riku on the shoulder.

"Leave me alone..." Riku muttered huddling in a dark corner to suck his thumb.

"Fine! Ignore me you emotional crybaby!" Axel huffed and went back to watching the others compete.

Back at the competition, it was Larxene's turn. As she was about to fire her first arrow, the bow began to crack. Larxene gripped it tightly and said in a dangerously sweet voice, "Don't you dare break on me, or I make sure you rue the day you were created." The bow squeaked and stopped cracking. Larxene smirked and fired twice, making both shots. Sephiroth stepped up and readied his bow, and to everyone's shock, the bow snapped. There was complete silence. No one dared to say anything. Sephiroth glared bloody murder at the remnants of the bow. His glare was so intense, that it killed all of the termites living in the wood.

-termite vision-

"Sally! Get the kids out! Run!" Bobby yelled waving his little termite arms at his wife and children.  
"No, Bobby! Don't be a hero!" Sally shouted rushing to her husband's side.

"Don't worry. I'll get to die a hero, like my father in the great extermination of 1966!" Bobby said determinedly.

"But Bobby, what about the baby?!" Sally cried gesturing to her stomach.

"You're pregnant?!"

"Whoops..."

-end termite vision-

Sephiroth got a new bow and hit the target then walked away. Next up was Yuffie. Her bow snapped the first time, but her second arrow hit the target.

"Yay! Who's the bomb?!" A couple of people coughed.

"I said, Who's the bomb?!" No one answered so Yuffie pouted and said, "You know what? You guys need to show me some respect around here! I am amazing!"

Ansem clapped unenthusiastically. "You get points for your stirring speech - now get out of the way or Destiny will smite you!" And Yuffie was chased away by a pack of carnivorous tropical flamingos.

Next was Vexen. His first bow erupted into flames and he picked up his second bow with disdain. "I hate physical exertion. It's pointless." he muttered. He took careful aim and was just about to let his shout fly when Sora leapt out of the trees and shouted,

"You can do it Vexy!"

Loosing his concentration, the arrow whizzed past the target and struck a nearby crow. That was the day Vexen earned the enmity of all the world's crows.

"The score stands as such: team WoJ - 4 team Dom - 6."

Cloud was up next and it turned out that he was a horrible marksman. Neither of his shots hit the target. Xemnas went and earned one point for team Warriors of Justice, all the while ranting about darkness and Kingdom Hearts. Saix made one point. I won't elaborate on how he got that point, but it had something to do with fishnet stockings and a steak knife. Finally, (A/N: and I mean finally! This challenge was so boooring!) it was down to the final two - Zexion and Xaldin. The score was WoJ: 5, Dom: 7. Zexion stepped up with his bow and made two fluent shots, both hitting dead center. His fellow teammates were impressed.

"Man, you're good at everything, aren't you?" Axel asked. Zexion shrugged.

"I guess."

"Wow..." Sora murmured with stars in his eyes. "You're my hero...I wanna be just like you when I grow up!"

"Whatever." It was finally time. Xaldin stepped forward and took aim...and promptly knocked out by an African swallow carrying a coconut." Team Dominators went on a rampage and Ansem walked over to the unconscious man to examine him.

"Yep. He's out cold."

"Then what are we going to do?! The challenge is a draw!" Larxene shouted.

"Simple, my good woman." Ansem held out his fisted hands. "I hold your Destiny in my hands. Now pick one." The blonde bit her lip then chose his left hand. "Too bad, You loose!" Ansem chuckled then walked away.

"You loose! You loose! Hahaha, you loose!" Imogene cheered throwing bottles of soy sauce in the air. Then she glared at Demyx again.

"What is your problem with me?!" he asked.

"You make me sick! JK! Lol! BBQ! AAA!" Imogene said flapping her hand as she skipped away and hopped onto a tricycle. She started peddling furiously - though she wasn't getting very far.

Ansem looked toward the jubilant team Warriors of Justice and announced, "Your prize will be delivered to your camp tonight." The group murmured in anticipation.

"Ahh... it feels good not to be the looser." Riku said happily.

-At tribal council

Ansem stood in front of the bonfire and said, "Let's make this quick. It's Thursday and I want to watch my CSI." There were a couple of glares thrown his way and he continued, obliviously. "So this is team Dominator's second tribal meeting, and like the first one, Xaldin is still unconscious."

-The author fast forwarded the voting process because she was just too lazy to write it. -

"And the results are in! Kairi has 4 votes, Saix has 6 votes!"

"So I'm being voted out?" Saix asked quietly. Ansem nodded curtly.

"I don't want to be voted out!" Saix screamed.

"Oh no! He's going into berserker mode!" Larxene yelled hiding behind the bench.

"AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!" Saix picked up his torch and brandished it like a sword. Within minutes, there was fire everywhere.

"YOU CAN'T GET RID OF MEEEEEEEE!" Saix yelled when all of a sudden, someone tackled him to the ground. The man who had charged Saix was an extremely muscular man with black sunglasses and a pin that read 'security'. The man raised a protesting Saix above his head and threw the nobody into the trapdoor.

"Thanks Rex." Ansem said to the man.

"S'no problem sir." He thumped his chest and said, "Peace out dogs."

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Review and give me your opinions, pwease?


	12. Justin's Shampoo Bubbles

Hi there peeps! The next chapter is up and ready, so enjoy!

Oh, and I want to sincerely thank all of my reviewers! I think I actually got a record amount of reviews for the last chapter...Anyway, I love ya guys lots!

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**Justin's Shampoo Bubbles**

-Camp Warriors of Justice

Team Warriors of Justice was celebrating their victory by playing limbo. The current reigning champion was surprisingly, Vexen. Said person was laughing in the faces of all the young people he had beaten. Needless to say, their confidence will be forever damaged.

Leon walked over to Riku and asked, "What in the world is Sora doing?" The man pointed to Sora whose face would change from expressionless, to grinning, then back to expressionless. Riku sighed.

"He's trying to copy Zexion. Apparently, he has become Sora's idol."

Leon raised an eyebrow and asked, "How did that happen?"

Riku shrugged, "I have no idea, but there's no way Sora will be able to be as calm and collected as Zexion."

From his spot in the shadows as the camp's lookout, Sephiroth said, "Something is approaching from the sky."

"It must be the prize for winning the challenge." Zexion stated calmly.

"I agree." Sora said coolly with his arms crossed. Then his calm expression broke and he exclaimed, "See! I sounded just like you! Didn't I, huh? Huh?"

If Sora were bugging anyone other than Zexion, they would have snapped and done something terribly violent to the Keyblade master. But not Zexion.

"Whatever." was his only reply.

Then a couple of helicopters appeared carrying a large crate. They set it down on the ground with a thud. Men reached out from the helicopter, threw some confetti and shouted in a sing-song voice, "Congratulations on winning your challenge, challenge, challenge, challengeee!!!" One man was still singing after the others had stopped. He was smacked by another man.

"Shut up, Bob!" he muttered. The men retreated into the helicopters and flew off into the distance. Team Warriors of Justice approached the crate curiously.

"Can we burn it?" Axel asked eagerly.

"No." Axel's shoulders slumped, "Let's see what's inside." Riku said.

"Perfect! This'll give me the opportunity to test out my new chainsaw!" Xemnas said pulling a chainsaw out of his cloak and everyone jumped back a few feet in shock.

"Umm.." Zexion began.

"Don't interrupt this special moment of my life!" Xemnas yelled as pulled the cord and began hacking away at the box.

"Oh yeah! Destruction rules! Bababab-ba ba bum! Hehehahahah!" The chainsaw suddenly came to a halt. Xemnas looked at it sadly and said, "My baby...ran out of gas..."

Zexion stepped up and cleared his throat. "As I was trying to say before, that was completely unnecessary. There is a lever that says 'pull to open'." he said pointing at a bright orange lever.

Xemnas ignored him and, looking distraught, carried his chainsaw away to gibe it a proper funeral. Riku had the honor of pulling the lever and the crate opened up revealing a food bar, complete with a fat man wearing a chef's uniform. The man looked around dazedly and asked, "Where in the heck am I? The last thing I remember was winning Iron Chef..." Then, seeing that he had an audience, exclaimed, "You people look hungry! Let me make you some mouth watering food!" Everyone was so happy that they did the chicken dance.  
While they were waiting for their food, Sora noticed a smaller box next to the bar.

"Hey, what do you think is in that box, Riku?" he asked pointing to it.

The silver haired teen shrugged, "Let's open it." Everyone watched as Riku released the lever and the box opened and out popped...Justin Timberlake!

"Holy strawberry pop tarts! It's that guy from N'sync!" Sora yelled.

"That was like, years ago, like where have you been?" Justin said dusting off his shirt.

"Why on earth are you here?" Vexen asked.

"To sing a very special song for you guys." Justin answered reaching back into the crate and bringing out a stereo. He pushed a button and music started playing.

_"I'm bringing sexy back, yeah!_

_The other boys don't know how to act..."_

Suddenly, the radio was crushed by Sephiroth's foot and his sword was at the singer's throat.

"Dude, this is not cool." the man gulped.

"I hate that song. Open your mouth one more time and you die." Sephiroth paused then added, "Besides, if anyone is bringing sexy back, it's me - not you."

Justin gulped, turned around and fled into the relative safety of the forest.  
"Awww...there went Mr. N'sync man." Sora said sadly.

"Food's ready!" the fat chef called.

"Yay! Food!" Sora said excitedly forgetting all about poor Justin Timberlake.

-Camp Dominators

Larxene was on a rampage. "How could we, tribe Dominators, have lost to that bunch of babbling idiots?!"

"Hey! Don't try to blame this on us!" Xigbar shouted indignantly pointing at the woman. "You were the one who chose the loosing hand!"

Larxene glared daggers at the man. "Well, it could have been..." She looked around and picked out an individual, "Kairi who messed the whole team up!"

"What?! I wasn't even in the challenge!" Kairi shouted.

"Yeah, well your ugliness distracted everyone."

"What?" Kairi asked, her voice dangerously low.

"Ha ha. You heard me!" Larxene smirked, looking down at the red-head. The rest of the team members watched in anticipation.

"Well at least I'm not a fat, controlling psycho beeeeeep like you!" Kairi said scathingly.

Larxene gasped and her mouth opened and closed repeatedly, making her resemble a fish. She finally found her voice and shot back, "Oh yeah?! Well you're a beeeping beeeep who beeeeps a beeeeep!"

"O-oh yeah? Well, well, your mom!"

"Oh great comeback you prostitute."

"Gooey gel head!"

"Hooker!"

"Pighead!"

-2 hours later...

"Finger licker." Kairi said wearily.

"Snail lover." Larxene said equally as weary. The rest of the camp had lost interest in their little spat long ago, and the only one still watching was Yuffie (who loves this kind of thing), but even she was yawning and trying to keep from falling asleep. Finally, she stood up and stretched.

"Well, its been fun guys - call me when it's over."

Marluxia had convinced Demyx to help him out with watering the plants he had surrounding the camp. As Demyx watered them, Marluxia would tell him all about the plants - everything from their date of germination to their favorite dolor.

Xaldin was sitting under a tree sulking. "What's up dude?" Xigbar asked sitting sown next to him.

"I miss Saix..." Xaldin muttered.

"Oh yeah... that's right - you two were glaring contest buddies." Xigbar said airily.

"And it's all their fault he's gone!" Xaldin shouted throwing the girls an angry look.

"Dude? Dude?! Are you crying?!" Xigbar exclaimed in shock.

"N-no!" Xaldin denied, wiping his eyes.

"Uh...well... have fun with that." And the freelance shooter left Xaldin to wallow in his misery.

Aerith paused from her yoga exercises and peered into the forest. "Who's that?"

A man came out of the trees with a relieved expression on his face. "Thank goodness! I finally found someone else!" he exclaimed.

The girls of the camp all squealed and exclaimed, "It's Justin Timberlake!" They quickly surrounded the man.

"Ladies, ladies, there's plenty of me to go around!" he said holding his hands up.

"You do realize that half of those girls are underage, right?" Cloud asked. Justin's reply was drowned out by another ear piercing scream.

Marluxia and Demyx came from around the corner. "What's all of the commotion about?" Demyx asked.

"OMG! It's Justin Timberlake!" Marluxia exclaimed. The graceful assassin ran to the singer and said, "I'm a big fan! Could you sign my shampoo bottle?"

All of the girls froze and looked around at the man. "Where did you get shampoo?" Kairi asked.

Marluxia suddenly looked uncomfortable, "Uh, well, I kinda keep a bottle with me all of the time - you never know what could happen."

Justin was forgotten as the girls charged the unwary Nobody, each trying to grab a hold of the bottle.

"Ahhh! My baby!" Marluxia yelled sadly as the shampoo was ripped out of his hands.

"Dude, you're better off getting away while you can." Xigbar said walking up to Justin.

"That could end up being your fate." Cloud added guesturing toward the crazed crowd.

"Mmm! Strawberry!" came Yuffie's muffled voice from the pile of girls.

"Hmm...be torn apart by rabid fan girls or stay with other human beings..." Justin pondered as he kneeled down and drew an apple in the ground. Then, he got up and ran away into the trees without the girls noticing.

Suddenly, they all received a telepathic message from Ansem telling them to report for the next challenge.

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Yay! I feel so proud of myself! I actually updated sooner!

And sorry if I somehow offended others with Justin's attitude. I'm not exactly a fan of his singing, soooooooooo...


	13. The Sixth Challenge

**The Sixth Challenge**

The two teams gathered at the said location, which was a large arena (with tropical fruit stands off to the sides).

"Where is that idiot Ansem? How dare he keep us waiting?!" Larxene asked angrily.

All of a sudden, someone popped out from behind a bush and screamed, "Boo!"

Yuffie screamed and Xaldin fainted.

"I-It's Ronald Mc Donald!" Sora cried hysterically, running behind a tree and trembling.

"What's with the little guy?" Demyx asked jerking his finger in Sora's direction. Riku sighed and Axel pulled out a bag of popcorn and started munching on it.

"I sense a horrible life story coming." he explained to the groups quizical looks.

"Back when Sora was five.."

-flashback-

"Riku, Riku! Let's go to Mc Donalds! I wanna get their new Transformers toys!" five year old Sora said tugging on six year old Riku's sleeve.

"But last time you got one of those toys, you got bored and fed it to old Mrs. Crackersmitter's dog Sparky." Riku protested.

"But that won't happen again, I promise!" Sora pleaded.

"Okay, okay, fine. Let's go." Riku gave in.

As they walked into the fast food restaurant, Sora exclaimed, "Oooh! Look Riku, look! Mr. Mc Donald is here today!" He pointed excitedly at the clown who was handing out balloons to children. Riku dragged Sora over to the counter and ordered themselves happy meals. They sat down at a table to eat.

"Transformers! Robots in...Riku, what was that last part?" Sora looked at the silver haired boy, who was no doubt thinking about tuna sandwiches.

"I dunno." he answered vaguely.

Sora looked at his transformer toy and whined, "Stupid robot! You bore me with your odd angles and evil eyes!" He tossed the toy over his shoulder.

"Aaaaaah! My eye! My eye!" Someone shouted. Startled, the two boys turned around and saw that it was Ronald Mc Donald lying on the ground. The man looked around and, seeing Sora and Riku, charged over to them. "Alright, which one of you did it?!" he asked with a deranged expression on his face.

"Sorry sir, he didn't mean it." Riku apologized.

"Why you little-" The man reached for Sora only to be pulled back by his fellow co-workers.

"Calm down Harvey! It was an accident!" one of them shouted.

"I know what you're trying to do! You're trying to silence me because I know about the aliens plot to take over the world using twizzlers!" he yelled to them.

-end flashback

"Poor boy..." Aerith said sadly.

"Yeah, yeah poor Sean-"

"Sora."

"Right, poor Sora. But that was a totally unnecessary flashback." Xemnas said.

"Um...hellooo? Back to the challenge." Ronald said peeling back his mask revealing Ansem.

"Why were you pretending to be a clown?" Kairi asked.

"Simple, because when I woke up this morning, Destiny told me to do it."

"Uh...I don't think that it's Destiny telling you these things..." Yuffie said.

"Silence!" Ansem shouted and threw a rock at Yuffie. She dodged the rock and it hit Xaldin, who was just waking up, only to be knocked back out by the stone.

"Now that's what I call irony!" Imogene said, appearing in a samurai outfit.

"Anyway, today's challenge is a fighting tournament. You will be allowed to use your weapons in an attempt to win your team the prize - which happens to beee...a picnic on a boat!" Ansem said.

"Complete with smoothies!" Imogene added.

There were several squeals of delight. "You will choose three people from each team to fight." The two teams huddled then decided that Cloud, Larxene, and Xigbar would compete for team Dominators, while Riku, Sephiroth and Axel were competing for team Warriors of Justice.

"Yes! We fight! Win! For honor!!!" Imogene yelled with a Japanese accent.

"Calm down." Ansem said.

"How can I be calm when I want to fight?!"

"Uh, yyyeah...fight this little guy if you're that desperate." Ansem pointed to a lonely iguana sitting behind a tree.

There was a glint in Imogene's eyes as she drew her sword. "Prepare to fight!" she yelled as she charged the iguana.

The first match up was Riku vs. Xigbar.

"Hey, didn't the author already use the fighting challenge idea?" Riku asked.

"Yeah, but she is running low on ideas at the moment." Ansem answered.

"Eh. Works for me." Xigbar shrugged as he warped out and shot at Riku, who pulled out his Keyblade, The Way to Dawn, and blocked it.

"Dude! That was totally not bad for a girly boy!" Xigbar exclaimed firing another shot.

"No one except my mom calls me a girly boy and gets away with it!" Riku shouted going on a rampage. Xigbar blocked his first few attacks, but Riku shouted got through his defenses and slammed the Keyblade into him. As he landed his finishing blows, he yelled out, "Silly rabbit! Trix-" one smack, "are-" two smacks, "for-" a third especially painful smack, "kids!" And Xigbar fell dramatically to the floor.

"I don't think I'm gonna make it." he said in a pained voice. "Could you tell my wife that I love her?" Riku knelt down by him and nodded somberly, "And that I miss her?

"Sure."

"And that I'm sorry, but I forgot to walk the dog on Thursday?"

"Uh..."

"And that the wedding ring she's wearing, I got for 25 cents out of a vending machine?"

"Hold on. I'm not telling her that, so you're going to have to live and tell her yourself." Riku said flatly, getting up and dusting his pants off.

"Fine." Xigbar sighed getting to his feet.

The next match was Axel vs. Larxene. "Oh goody. I get the psychotic one." Axel said sarcastically bringing his chakrams out.

"Finally! I get some action!" Larxene shouted with glee as electricity shot between her kunai knives.

They were about to charge each other when Marluxia shouted, "Pause the battle!"

Axel nearly tripped and Larxene asked impatiently, "What?!" Marluxia walked in between them and knelt down.

"I couldn't let you trample this beautiful flower." he said picking up the flower lovingly. "Continue." he said as he walked back to the sidelines.

"You can do it Axel! I'll be your coach!" Sora shouted (he had finally gotten over his clown scare).

"Well, if Axel gets a coach, then I'll be yours Larxene!" Yuffie called.

"Go Axel!" Use flamethrower!" Sora commanded. Axel lit his chakrams and threw them at Larxene.

"Larxene! Dodge and use thunderbolt!" Yuffie said. Larxene dodged and sent a spark of electricity at Axel.

"Ahh!" Axel yelped in pain. "Hey kid! I thought you were supposed to be my coach!" he turned around and saw Sora was watching a butterfly instead of the match.

"Time for the winning move Larxene! Attract!" Axel's jaw dropped as he heard Yuffie's command.

"What?!" Larxene asked turning to glare at the ninja girl.

"Yeah! You know, attract. That way, he won't wanna attack you!" Yuffie explained confidentially.

"Yuffie?"

"What?"

"You're fired."

Axel caught Larxene off guard and kicked her in the stomach. "Haven't you ever heard the phrase 'never strike a lady'?" she gasped.

"Yeah, I've heard it - I just don't consider you a lady." Axel replied with a smirk. There were several shouts of 'burn!' from the spectators. There was now a pronounced vein in Larxene's forehead.

"Man, I'm gonna miss him." Demyx said sadly.

"What are you talking about water boy?" Xemnas asked.

"Axel's done for." Demyx shut his eyes tightly as the rest of the people watching gaped in shock as they watched the battle.

You're probably wondering what is going on in the battle field. But since it is so terribly violent, you'll never know... Axel fell to the floor, groaning in pain.

"OMG! Call a medic, or Dr. Phil or something!" Sora cried kneeling next to the unconscious pyro. "Wake up Axel! Oh no! Do you see a light?!" He gasped alarmed. Axel groaned. "NO!! Stay away from the light!" Sora cried frantically shaking the man by the shoulders.

"Calm down, Sora." Leon said taking the younger boy's hands off of Axel.

"Move him out of the way, Rex." Ansem said to the buff security guard. The man nodded and carried the red head and dumped him on the sidelines.

Next was the fight everyone was waiting for - Cloud vs. Sephiroth.

"It is time for you to meet your demise." Sephiroth said gripping his sword.

"Sephiroth!" Cloud shouted angrily.

"Cloud!"

"Sephiroth!"

"Cloud!"

"Sephiroth!"

"Just fight already!" Aerith shouted.

"Quiet human!" Sephiroth said stabbing Aerith with his sword.

"Ouch!" she yelped, falling backward.

"You'll pay for that!" Cloud exclaimed angrily. And thus, the fight began.

"I'm okay..." Aerith said faintly flashing everyone a thumbs up sign.

Meanwhile, Sephiroth and Cloud's battle raged on, neither one of them gaining an advantage over the other.

Then, Sephiroth yelled out, "Look! A kitty!"

"Where?!" Cloud exclaimed turning around. Not seeing a cat, he turned around only to find Sephiroth's sword at his throat.

"Any villain knows that no hero can resist the fake kitty distraction technique." Sephiroth said smugly. Cloud glowered at him and lowered his sword in defeat.

"Aaaaand team Warriors of Justice is the winner!" Ansem declared.

"Yeah! Winning feels great! Nothing could make me feel down right now! Not even if I got struck by lightning!" Xemnas yelled jubilantly. Then he got struck by lightning. His only response was to grin and smooth down his frazzled hair. "Nope! Not even being sued for rear-ending that NBA all-star's car!"

Ansem walked over to him and handed him a letter. He opened it and scanned it's contents.

"Well, how do you like that? But it still doesn't make me feel down!" the Nobody smiled.

"Well how about this?!" Larxene asked as she threw bird crap in he face, kicked him a few times, then thrust his face if the sand.

"That'll do." Xemnas muttered, not daring to get back up.

"Now team Warriors of Justice, if you'll follow me, I'll lead you to your picnic of Destiny!" Ansem said with a smile.

"Cool! Picnic!" Xemnas exclaimed jumping to his feet. Larxene, sensing her prey had recovered, turned around and charged him like a pms-ing rhino. Xemnas screamed and tried to get away, but unfortunately for him, Larxene was faster. She dragged him, still screaming, into the cover of the trees. The savage nymph emerged minutes later wiping her hands.

"Are you okay Mr. Xemnas?" Sora asked peeking into the bushes. "Oh." the boy turned to the others and said, "He's gonna be a while."

Imogene dragged her weary form back to the beach. Her outfit was ripped and tattered, and her hair was frazzled.

"What happened to you?" Yuffie asked.

"That iguana put up a good fight." she replied before collapsing into the sand.

Ansem was conversing with someone invisible. His conversation was nearly inaudible. "Mmhm...yes...oranges, I see...okay. Team Warriors of Justice, could you wait here as I go attend tribal council? I won't be but 30 minutes."

-at tribal council-

"Alright everyone, tribal council will be starting now." Ansem said.

"What about Xaldin?" Demyx asked pointing to the man (who was still unconscious).

"Hmm, come to think of it, Xaldin has been unconscious for every tribal meeting so far." Something occurred to him and he said, "Wait...then how come I've counted his vote both times?"

"Well, it's a funny thing..." Xigbar said. He picked up a piece of paper and held it next to Xigbar's face.

"Hey, dude - Xaldin. We're voting now - who do you vote for?" The Nobody (with his eyes still closed) took the pen and wrote a name on the paper - in neat cursive handwriting I might add.

"Well, that's interesting." Ansem commented. So, the rest of the voting commenced. "And the final score is Xaldin - 4, Aerith - 5."

Aerith was silent then asked, "I'm being voted out?"

"Yep."

"You'll all pay for this." She smiled sweetly as the trapdoor opened underneath her and she fell. A shiver went through the group.

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Heh, Aerith and her mechanical sounding voice scares me sometimes...

Review and you will be happy for the rest of the day! -no refunds are offered if you are in fact not happy -


	14. Swimming in a Tattoo Parlor

**Sorry this didn't come faster - i've just been so busy and I lost track of time, and...well, you don't want to hear my pitiful excuses, go on and read!**

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Ansem returned to the beach where teen Warriors of Justice waited just as a pimped out boat docked. On its side was the name R.M.S. Titanic in bold red letters.

"Don't you think it's a bit foreboding to name a boat after the Titanic?" Vexen asked.

"Nonsense! This boat is as sturdy as a rock!" Ansem said patting the side of the boat.

"Boat?!" Imogene exclaimed, waking from her half unconscious state. "Just what I need!" She tore off her ripped samurai outfit revealing a pink flowery bikini. Before anyone could say anything, she ran aboard, shouting gleefully.

With their doubts, team Warriors of Justice followed Imogene aboard the boat and set sail. Ansem strolled to the deck and gestured to a table. "The food is over there-" he gestured toward a table piled with food. "-the chairs are over there." he pointed to a row of chairs(one of which was occupied by Imogene, who was slathered with tanning lotion), "Knock yourselves out."

Everyone ran to the food and began to stuff their faces. A few minutes later, Sora saw something that scarred him for life. Ansem had changed into a pair of orange swim trunks and had tanning oil rubbed all over his pale body. Though that wasn't what disturbed Sora - it was the fact that the man has 'Destiny' tattooed all over himself from head to toe. In fact, the only tattoo that wasn't Destiny related was an 'I love my mum' tattoo on his arm.

"Nya!" he shuddered and started twitching.

"What's wrong kid?" Axel asked. Sora pointed a trembling finger at Ansem. Axel looked to where Sora was pointing. "Ahhh! My eyes! My eyes - they burn!" Axel screamed covering his face. (no fire pun intended-)

"What is wrong with you two?" Vexen asked. The two trembling boys pointed toward Ansem with their faces covered. "Dear lord! What in the scientific world is wrong with that man?! Has he no decency?! No shame?!" And Vexen joined them cowering on the floor.

"What's the meaning of this?" Zexion asked surveying the three with disinterest. All three of them pointed to Ansem.

A moment passed and they could've sworn they saw the Nobody's visible eye twitch. Zexion said nothing and went to go sit under an umbrella. He pulled out a pair of sunglasses and slipped them on his face, flipping his hair over the right lens.

"I-I can do that too!" Sora said in a high pitched voice, sounding as if he was trying to convince himself. He pulled a kit labeled 'emergency' out of one of his giant pockets of deep dark secrets. Opening it, he started going through its contents. "Rubber ducky...Pez dispenser...spare house keys...cookie...How to Survive in the Wilderness for Dummies...another cookie...aha! Sunglasses!" he shouted triumphantly, pulling a pair of sunglasses on and putting them on.

"If Zexion can do it, then I can too!" he took a step toward the chairs. "I can do this. I can do this. I can do this." he chanted to himself over and over again as he pulled up a chair next to Zexion, all the while, trying not to look at Ansem. "He-hey Zex. Nice day for a cookie, isn't it?"

"Whatever."

"Do you want to play a game of solitaire?"

"Not really."

"Umm... how about water polo?"

"No."

"Nyahhh! I can't do it! I'm sorry! I've failed you Zexion!" Sora cried bowing to the Nobody then running away to put as much distance as possible between himself and Ansem as possible.

"I've got to go to the piddily diddly department." Riku announced. With that, he went into the cabin of the boat to find the bathroom.

"Yo peeps! It's gettin' kinda hot out here - let's go inside." Xemnas said.

"Yay!" Sora said running to be the first one inside.

"Oooh, look! Dance Dance Revolution!" Xemnas said excitedly, clapping his hands. Sora took off one of his gloves and smacked Xemnas across the face with it.

"I challenge you to a DDR duel!" he announced, "Because every good fanfic needs a DDR duel!"

Xemnas gasped and held his hand to his face. "I accept you little whelp! Prepare to be shown up!" So they started the game. Not surprising was the fact that Sora was winning. Xemnas growled in frustration and decided to resort to drastic measures. He decided that once he got off the island, he would sign up for a dance class. Then he was struck by an even better idea - cheating! He grinned as his hair suddenly curled and turned green and he sprouted a hatred for Christmas. He lashed out and viciously kicked Sora, who flew off balance and struck the steering wheel, turning it as he gripped it to keep himself on his feet.

Leon ran inside the cabin moments later and yelled out, "What in the world are you doing?! We're heading straight for an iceberg!"

"That's okay! I'll just go steer us out of this!" Sora declared turning the steering wheel.

"Sora?" Leon asked.

"What is it? I'm busy."

"You have the steering wheel."

"Yeah, I know - I'm trying to turn the ship."

"No, I mean, you're holding the wheel - and it isn't attached."

"Oh...Panic time!" Sora screamed throwing the wheel into the air.

"Everyone to the life boat of Destiny!" Ansem shouted, as the wheel came down from the sky and conked him over the head.  
Meanwhile...Riku was still looking for the bathroom.

"How can it be this hard to find a bathroom?!" he exclaimed jumping from side to side. He opened one of the doors and saw a bunch of little people working in the engine room.

"Close the door human!" one of them shouted waving a shovel at the teen. He shut the door hurriedly and went on. There was a shudder and the boat shook. "Wonder what that was?" Riku murmured. He opened another door. "Hmm...There's a hole in the wall that's pouring water in - but no bathroom." he closed the door and walked on. A few seconds later found Riku running back to confirm what he had just seen. He pushed the door open and exclaimed, "Holy Crap! We're sinking at a moderately slow rate!" He ran through the boat and onto the deck. "Guys! We're sinking! Guys?...Where is everyone?"

"Riku!" someone called. Riku ran to the edge of the boat and saw everyone on a lifeboat floating out in the water.

"Noooooo! I've been abandoned! Tossed aside like last week's newspaper!" the teen cried.

"Quit monologing and swim over here!" Ansem called impatiently. Riku muttered something angrily under his breath and dove into the water. He made it to the lifeboat as the boat sank into the ocean. (The little people were jumping out and swimming away and off into the sunset.)

"Well I didn't see that coming." Axel commented.

"How could you not?! The author put in so much foreshadowing like the fact the boat was named Titanic, and the ice burg. You would have to be a moron to miss it!" Vexen exclaimed.

"Yeah, well, your face is a moron!" Axel said.

"You'd better show me some respect or else I'll-I'll" Vexen fumed.

"You'll what, you old coot?" Axel pushed with a grin.

"I'll push you into the water." Vexen said with a triumphant smirk.

"You wouldn't dare." Axel said heatedly. Vexen only widened his smirk as a reply. "Oh, it's on old man, it's on!" Axel shouted.

-Camp Dominators

The girls of camp Dominators were busy building a shrine for their lost teammate, Aerith. "Girls, unless we're careful, one of us may be next." Larxene said. "We're now outnumbered three to five. So all we have to do is get two of the men to join our side." She looked thoughtful. "Demyx will be easy - I have leverage over him. The question is - who else will join us?"

"What about Marluxia? We'll only have to bring out his inner female - which shouldn't be that hard." Kairi said.

"I don't think that'll work. He's kinda angry with us for plucking half of his flower garden for Aerith's shrine." Yuffie said pointing to the pink haired man who was sitting down and drawing three female figures in the dirt with a stick.

"They dare to pick my beautiful flowers without my say so?" he muttered, "Well, I'll teach them - I'LL TEACH THEM!!!!" he yelled as he stabbed the drawings.

"Then the answer is simple girls." Larxene said in her most devious voice. "We must turn them against each other."

Meanwhile, the boys (with the exception of Marly who was still being umm, whatever it was he was being) were lazing around in the shade.

"Dude - we are so awesome! Nothing can break our unity!" Xigbar said.

"Shut up Xigbar, you ugly eye patch face!"

Xigbar looked at Xaldin. "What did you call me?!"

"I didn't call you anything!" Xaldin said indignantly.

"Hmph. I'm watching you."

"I hate you - you pitiful excuse for a Nobody!"

"What did you say?!" Xaldin asked standing up.

"I didn't say anything!"

"You're making fun of me, aren't you?!"

"You are too!"

"That's it!" And Xigbar and Xaldin started fighting each other.

"Mission successful girls." Larxene smirked form her spot hidden in the trees.

"It's a good thing that I packed this 'sound like Xaldin or Xigbar megaphone' before we got here." Kairi said fingering the megaphone.

"Way to accessorize, girlfriend!" Yuffie said giving the redhead a high five. The girl's victory dance was interrupted as airplanes flew over the camp and dropped a box. It landed and everyone watched it curiously. The box opened up revealing a mechanical zed version of Ansem. It opened it's tiny robotic mouth and out came the real Ansem's voice.

"Report for your next challenge. Right now."

"What in the-" Demyx began, but the robot thingy cut him off by saying,

"You're not going fast enough!" It pulled out a miniature bb gun and started firing rounds at everyone.

"OW! That damn robot is gonna pay!" Larxene shouted angrily as they ran through the bushes. As they fled, they heard the maniacal laughter of the robot along with it's occasional shouts of 'Destiny'.

* * *

Do I have to ask?


	15. The Seventh Challenge

**The Seventh Challenge**

Larxene walked up to Ansem and grabbed him by the collar. "Your damn robot gave me a welt on my flawless forehead!" She screamed pointing to a red bump on her face.

"Meh." was his only reply.

"Oh yeah?! Well how would you like it if you suddenly became very familiar with the phrase 'swimming with the fishies'?!"

"Meh."

"ARGH! You infuriating sack of skin!"

"Meh." Larxene screamed and skulked back to her team.

"Um...Larxene? Your horns are showing." Demyx said timidly.

"What? Oh dear." She pulled a yellow compact out of her pocket and pushed her little red horns back into her head.

"What was that about?" Yuffie asked.

"If I told you, I'd have to kill you." The woman said simply. Yuffie gulped and shut her mouth.

"Why are we having two challenges in one day?" Xemnas whined.

"Because I want to!" Ansem said, "And Destiny said I should always listen to what I want!"

"Just tell us what the challenge is so we can do it and leave." Cloud said in a bored voice.

Ansem grinned and burst out, "This evening's challenge is...a trip through a haunted house!" Sora fainted with a terrified expression on his face. Xaldin almost fainted as well - though he only fainted 97 of the way. Apparently pleased with their reactions, Ansem pressed a button on a remote control he had been holding in his hand. A giant house appeared out of nowhere. There was an ominous peel of thunder in the background and thunder clouds gathered around the house. "Well that was a nice effect." Ansem commented. "The rules are simple - the first team to make it out of the house is the winner. "And," he continued with a wicked gleam in his eye, "anyone who faints will be forced to wear a demeaning suit for the rest of the day."

"What kind of suit?" Vexen asked suspiciously.

"You'll see soon, my friend, you'll see."

"By the way, where's Imogene?" Demyx asked looking around apprehensively.

"Don't worry. She won't be here today due to a terrible sunburn. However, she is here in spirit as this challenge was her idea."

-Somewhere else on the island...

A sunburned Imogene watched as the two teams were led to their separate entrances. She crammed ice cream into her mouth and chuckled. "Oh I can't wait..."

Back on the beach...

"Let the challenge begin!" Ansem declared. And the two teams walked inside warily...

-with Team Warriors of Justice-

"Riku? Do you still have that awesome blindfold that you used to have?" Sora asked his friend nervously.

"No, why?"

"Damn..."

"You're scared, aren't you?" Vexen smirked.

"No I'm not! Well, not really...okay, maybe kinda...a lot.." he trailed off then realized that Vexen was still smirking. "Stop looking at me!" Sora cried hiding behind Riku. Suddenly, he felt a cold pressure on his back.

"Boo." Vexen shouted. Sora fainted for the second time that day. Before anyone could react, the boy was carried away by two men in black suits. They put up a curtain that had changing room printed on it. A few moments passed then the two men took the sheet down and disappeared into an 'employees only' door. Leon strode over to Sora and examined the boy.

"Umm...Sora is wearing an Energizer Bunny costume." he said uncertainly to the others.

The boy slowly came to and sat up with a groan. "What happened? And why do feel fuzzy?" he looked down at his hands. "What the?!" Sora leapt up and looked in a conveniently placed mirror. "Cool! I'm wearing a pink bunny costume with a drum!" he exclaimed happily. "Now this will dispel all of the scarynessness!" He pounded the drum loudly and marched forward. "Come on guys! Let's go fight the darkness and save some damsels in distress!" He walked on, grinning madly.

"What is he babbling about?" Xemnas asked. They continued through the corridor and were bombarded with some 'ghosts' which looked more like balloons with sheets over them.

"Fellow warriors, attack!" Sora cried as he bashed on the 'ghost' with on of his drumsticks. "That was a close one..." Sora sighed.

"This is without doubt, the worst haunted house I've ever been in." Zexion said as he walked past another one of the 'ghosts' ignoring it completely (I mean, what did you expect? He's **Zexion**.)

"Foshizzle." Axel agreed. And they walked on.

-with Team Dominators-

"This is the scariest place I've ever seen!" Yuffie screamed from her position latched onto Cloud's arm.

"Yuffie, you are invading my personal space." the blonde said.

"Oh, sorry." she reluctantly let go. Only to latch right back on as a flock of bats flew through the air.

"Personal space!" Cloud reminded her as he pried her hands off of his arm. She fell to the floor in a faint. Like when Sora fainted, the two men came out and changed Yuffie into ...an Oreo costume! When she came to, she tried to sit up, but to no avail.

"Whaaaa! I feel so fat!" Yuffie wailed. It took both Xigbar and Xaldin's strength to pull her lardness back up to her feet. "Get this thing off of me!" she shouted.

"Umm...there's no zipper." Kairi said puzzled.

"Then you're just going to have to put up with it." Larxene said. "Now let's hurry up! we can't loose again!" They all walked through a door at the end of the hall.

"Guys? Um, I can't fit through the door." Yuffie said with a nervous laugh.

"Boys - kick her through." Larxene commanded with a flick of her wrist.

"My pleasure!" Xigbar said cracking his knuckles.

"H-hey, wait! What are you doing?!" Yuffie protested as Xigbar turned her sideways. Xaldin kicked the Oreo costume and sent it flying through the door. "Ahhhhhhhh!" Yuffie screamed as the Oreo began to spin on it's side like a giant tire. "Oh no - NOT STAIRS!!!" she cried seeing that she was headed straight for a (downward) staircase.

"Look out below!" Marluxia called as he leapt out of the way.

"Huh?" Demyx asked from his spot at the bottom of the stairs as he turned around and saw the Oreo headed his way. "OH MY GOD!" he screamed. He had no time to get out of the way and was promptly squished by Yuffie. Her costume ran into a wall and came to a stop, falling to its side.

"I think I'm gonna be sick." she said in a dazed voice. The others went down the stairs.

"We've got a man down!" Xigbar said kneeling to Demyx. "Can you hear me? Speak to me little dude!" he cried turning the Melodious Nocturne over.

"Did you catch the license plate number?" Demyx muttered before passing out. Once again, the costume changer peoples came out and changed Demyx into...a burrito costume!

"We don't have time to wait for him to come around! Now pick him up and let's get going!" Larxene shouted.

So they were off...again.

-with Team Warriors of Justice-

Everyone had a headache from the repeated banging of Sora's drum. "Sora! I swear if you bang that drum one more time, I will wring your skinny little neck!" Xemnas yelled. Sora looked up at the Nobody, wide eyed. He slowly brought the drum stick thingy closer and closer to the drum. "Don't you dare!" Xemnas warned the boy. Sora pounded the drum lightly. "That's it!" Manse-er I mean Xemnas leapt forward and made to strangle the boy. Fortunately for Sora (and unfortunately for Xemnas), Riku stepped in.

"Sorry Xemnas, but even though Sora is being a pain in the-"  
"Heeeeey!"

"He's still my best friend and I can't let you hurt him."  
"You think you can stop me?!" Xemnas exclaimed.

"Yes." Riku replied getting into a fighting stance.

"Think again!" Xemnas yelled as he charged forward and grabbed the teen by the waist. With a grunt, he threw poor Riku straight into Sephiroth. The stoic man was caught by surprise and fell back with the younger boy on top of him. Riku groaned and crawled off of Sephiroth.

"What the hell is wrong with you?! You psychotic maniac!" Riku yelled angrily at Xemnas.

"Umm...Guys?" Leon called everyone's attention to the very strange site. Sephiroth, who had hit his head on the wall when he fell, was unconscious. No one knew quite what to think about this. They were still in shock when the costume changing men came out and transformed Sephiroth into...a white kitten costume! There was silence, then slowly, ever so slowly, the sound of laughter filled the room. Even Zexion chuckled! Sephiroth's eyes fluttered open and he sat up. The laughter continued.

"Ah, man!" Axel said through fits of laughter, "He's gonna kill us for this, but it is so worth it!" The pyromaniac wiped tears from his eyes and clutched his sides.

Sephiroth was clearly wondering what was so funny. He reached up to rub his head and caught sight of his hand. Or should I say paw. He stared at it for a second, then leapt up to examine himself in yet another conveniently placed mirror. By this time, the laughter had died down and the rest of the team waited for the man's reaction. Sephiroth yanked at the costume's tail and said, "Someone is going to die for this." or rather, what came out was an angry sounding, "Meow."

This set everyone off into renewed fits of laughter. Sephiroth let out a hiss. "Meow meow, meooow!!!" (Translation: Ansem is a dead man!)

Sephiroth charged through the hallway and started taking random turns. "Everyone follow the angry man!" Riku commanded chasing after him. They followed the him for a while, and amazingly he ended up leading them outside.

Zexion looked around and said, "I believe we are the first ones out."

"We won? Awesome! Go anger management man!" Axel shouted punching the air.

Ansem stepped out from behind the door and said, "Congratulations Team Warriors of Justice. You have overcome the odds Destiny has placed in front of you and come out stronger than ever."

Sephiroth let out a mighty meow and leapt at Ansem. However, before he could get anywhere near the man, he was shocked (literally I mean) by his costume. "Sorry my friend, but if you get anywhere near me, or anyone for that matter with the intention of harming them, the sensors in that costume will shock the living daylights out of you."

Sephiroth glared at him and hissed. "What's our prize?" Xemnas asked.

"You are now the proud owners of... a sack of brand new toys!" Ansem said taking a sack out from behind his back. Sora gasped and tore the bag out of Ansem's arms.

"My precious..." Sora murmured stroking the sack lovingly.

"Ewww get a room!" Xemnas said.

At that moment, team Dominators stumbled out of the house. Larxene screamed in frustration. "We lost?!"

"How did Xaldin manage not to faint?" Vexen asked looking at the still conscious man.

"Honestly, we have no idea." Cloud said. The moment Yuffie waddled out of the house, Sora began to drool.

"Sugar!" he screamed running up to the ninja girl and taking a bite out of her costume.

"Yyaaah! Get him offa me!" she yelped twirling around, trying to dislodge the boy. Despite his best efforts to hang on, Sora was sent flying into the nearest person. He got up rubbing his head and apologized to whoever he was sitting on.

"We should've seen that coming." Demyx commented referring to the fact that Sora's fall had been broken by Xaldin, who now lay unconscious on the floor.

-At Tribal Council-

"Okay, the voting has come to a close and the results are in." Ansem shifted through the sheets of paper in his hands. "The score is Xigbar-1, Xaldin-7." Ansem looked over to the still unconscious man. "You sure wanted him gone, didn't you?"

"Yep, pretty much." Larxene said.

"Better him than us." Kairi added.

The trapdoor opened and Xaldin fell obliviously into it.

"And that's the end of that bowl of cornflakes." Xigbar said happily. And they all headed back to camp.

* * *

Well, review please!


	16. Santa Came Early This Year

**Santa Came Early This Year**

-Camp Warriors of Justice

"I bet you can't wait for tomorrow so that your adorable little kitty costume will come off. Am I right? Huh? Huuuh?" Axel jeered poking Sephiroth with a stick. The man hissed and swatted the stick away.

"You know, he's probably going to kill you once he gets out of that costume." Leon remarked.

"I know, but I couldn't possibly let this opportunity pass - got it memorized?" Axel grinned.

Leon shrugged, "Your funeral."

"That was the most pointless challenge ever." Zexion said crossing his arms.

"I agree. I hope we never have to do a challenge like that again." Vexen said wearily as he laid down in the sand to watch the setting sun.  
"Don't let Sora hear you two say that." Xemnas commented. Said person was busy digging through the bag of toys that was the prize from the haunted house challenge.

"Ooooh! It's a rubix cube!" he exclaimed pulling out a multi-colored cube. Tossing it aside, he went back to sifting through the sack. Riku knelt down and stared intently at the cube.

"So many colors...can't look away..." he murmured picking it up, his eyes wide.

"Look at me, guys! I've got googly eyes!" Sora pointed to his face where he had on a pair of glasses that had springs for lenses with plastic eyeballs glued to them.

"Great for you kid, but is there anything in there that isn't from some ridiculous 25 cent store?" Vexen asked.

"Umm, well there's a mini chemistry set in here." Sora replied pulling out a rather large box that had a depiction of a runny nosed boy holding a smoking test tube with protective goggles on his face.

"Science! My baby!" Vexen exclaimed lunging at the box and holding it to his chest.

"Is there anything else in there?" Xemnas asked, interested. Sora didn't hear him because he was too busy blowing up bright green balloons. Xemnas scowled and said, "I guess I'll just have to see for myself." He walked over to the bag and rummaged around in it. His hand grasped something and he pulled out a blonde Barbie doll. His eye twitched. "What are we gonna do with this?" he asked.

"I'm sure you can find something to do with it." Riku smirked.

"Just what are you implying?"

"That you Play. With. Dolls." Riku answered emphasizing each word.

"That's it!" Xemnas yelled throwing the Barbie at the boy, then charging him. Sadly, he missed and fell face first into the sand.

Meanwhile, Sora had gone back to searching through the sack. "Ooh! A firefighter helmet!" he exclaimed pulling out a shiny plastic helmet and putting it on his head, where it clashed horribly with his spiky hair. Axel caught sight of the boy and suddenly exclaimed,

"Quick everyone! Hide your fires! The evil exterminator is here!" He then ran over and kicked sand in Sora's face.

"Be gone demon spawn!" Axel shouted. (Riku was too busy with his multicolored cube of happiness to stop the angry pyro).

"Looks like I'll have to be the one to help Sora." Leon sighed striking his hand-on-face™ pose. "Axel, stop bullying Sora." he said grabbing the man by the hood.

"B-but he wants to kill the fire..." Axel pouted.

"No he doesn't. Now get a hold of yourself." Leon said calmly. Axel bowed his head and walked away to torture Sephiroth some more.

"Wow, Leon. You acted just like a father back there." Riku commented without looking away from his rubix cube.

"I wonder what he would be like as a real father..." Riku wondered.

-Flash forward to a future that will probably never happen

"Honey! I've got a meeting to go to! Can you take care of the kids?" a woman's voice rang throughout the house.

"Sure!" an older Leon called back from his spot on the couch reading the newspaper. Suddenly, a mini Sora look-alike came bounding out of the hall and leapt into Leon's lap. (The newspaper was torn in half by the young boy). Leon sighed and patted the boy on the head. "How many times have I told you not to rip my morning paper?"

"I didn't wip it daddy, I just gave it a makeover!" The boy protested as he drew a happy face on one of the torn pieces of paper.

Suddenly there was a loud bang. Leon sighed again and pulled out his spare newspaper. "Sounds like your brother is up." he commented. No sooner had he said that, a mini Axel look-alike burst out brandishing a flamethrower.

"Wahoo! Burn! Burn like daddy's fried eggs!"

"I know that I can't cook eggs - so sue me. Anyway, put that thing away - if your mother finds out you were playing with the flamethrower, she'll send you to that Smokey the Bear workshop again." Leon warned. Mini Axel shuddered and ran back to his room. "Now go feed the cats and let daddy get back to reading his paper." Leon said to the remaining boy.

"Okay! Snugglebunny kwitty! Where are you?" mini Sora called walking away.

-End of Flash forward to a future that will probably never happen

Leon shuddered. "Remind me never to become a father." he muttered to no one in particular.

Meanwhile, back in the Bat Cave...

"Robin, it looks like the joker has struck again!" Batman said standing up and swishing his cape around himself.

"Oh. I guess we'd better stop him..." Robin said unenthusiastically.

"What's the matter, Boy Wonder?" Batman asked dramatically.

"It's just that, why do _**you **_get the cool cape?"

"Because, my young friend, you are not yet ready."

"Hot diggidy damnit."

Meanwhile, back at camp...

Axel was busy throwing sticks for Sephiroth. "Go get the stick! Come on, you can do it!"

"Meow, meow." (Translation: That only works for dogs, you moron.)

Axel pouted then got the toy sack and went through it. He suddenly got a glint in his eye. "Well, what about...THIS?!" He pulled out a catnip mouse and dangled it in front of Sephiroth. And suddenly, the man couldn't control himself. He leapt at the mouse and swatted it out of Axel's grip. Playfully, he chased it around on all fours, whacking it with his hand/paw. Axel collapsed in laughter.

"You know he is going to kill you - you've just sealed your fate." Zexion said crossing his arms. Axel got back to his feet and grinned at the stoic man.

"Ah, come on Zexy! Loosen up and live a little!" he said slinging his arm around the shorter man's shoulders.

"Remove your arm from my shoulders." Zexion said without flinching.

"Make me." Axel challenged. Zexion sighed and shut his eyes. Suddenly, a crow attacked Axel!

"Ahhh! Leave me alone you evil bird!" he cried.

"I'll save you!" Sora cried unearthing his Bob the Builder blankie and taking the time to tie it around the neck of his bunny costume. Meanwhile, Axel was being mauled by the bird. Finally, an eternity later, Sora came charging at the crow and whacked it with his drumsticks. Cursing Sora, the crow flew away.

"What is with this island and bird attacks?" Xemnas asked stroking his chin thoughtfully.

"I wonder..." Axel muttered stealing a glance at Zexion who had a number of colorful birds gathered around him.

-Camp Dominators-

Larxene was in the middle of a very important announcement to her fellow teammates. "I have designed a new training regiment for us. We will no longer have to watch as team Warriors of Justice steals the victories that should be ours!" she waved her fist in the air menacingly.

"Will there be pain and sweat?" Xigbar asked.

"You bet."

"Dude! That's so totally wicked!" Xigbar exclaimed high-fiving Cloud while everyone else groaned sadly.

"How are me and Dem-Dem supposed to exercise in these costumes?" Yuffie asked.

"Dem-Dem?" Demyx questioned.

"Well, you two are the most important part of the training!" Larxene smiled. Demyx and Yuffie had a sudden chill go down their spines.

-Fast forward 5 minutes

"Yuffie, just so you know, I blame this on you!" Demyx shouted.

"Can't talk - will puke!" Yuffie replied. At the moment, Kairi was using Yuffie's costume as a sort of treadmill by running on it's side. Xigbar was using Demyx as a punching bag. Cloud was lifting trees instead of weights. Larxene was barking orders at Marluxia to keep doing push ups.

"It's all for my babies, It's all for my babies..." he repeated, his eyes on a plant gripped in Larxene's hands. "You are cruel and inhuman!" he bawled, dabbing tears out of his eyes.

"Less whining and more exercising!" Larxene commanded. Her eyes widened and she murmured, "That's a good catch phrase - I should use it more often..."

Meanwhile, Kairi was still running atop the Oreo costume. "Can't...go...on..." she panted. Finally, she fell off and the Oreo (along with Yuffie inside of it), came to a stop and toppled over.

"Wow...look at all the pretty clouds..." Yuffie murmured, her eyes spinning.

Back with Demyx and Xigbar, Xigbar was still punching the burrito man.

"Uh-h-h, X-igbar?"

"What's up Demmy?" Xigbar asked without ceasing his punching.

"D-do you h-av-e a p-pers-onal vend-etta against my c-costume?"

"No, why do you ask?"

"Be-cause you are b-eat-ing the stu-ffing out of it."

"Oh well." And Xigbar continued his punching.

-Fast forward to 30 seconds before midnight

A blonde woman in a light dress ran out of the forest and exclaimed, "Has anyone seen my glass slipper?" The group shook their heads. "Damn!" she exclaimed and ran off again.

Her exit was marked by the appearance of a man who asked, "Has anyone seen a blonde woman in a light dress come running this way?" The group pointed in the direction the woman had left in. The man took off calling, "Hold on fairest maiden! I didn't even get your cell phone number!"

With a sudden flash of light, all of the costumes fell off and everyone was free. Wondrously free! However, in Demyx's case, that wasn't necessarily a good thing. Seeing as how Xigbar was still punching him, he received the full force of one of his blows and was sent flying. Appropriately, he said, "Owie..."

"I think we can stop now." Larxene said. Everyone gratefully collapsed to the ground. She tossed the plant back to Marluxia, who caught it and began stroking it fondly.

"Don't you all feel so much stronger now?" Larxene asked.

"I **feel **sweaty." Marluxia said with distaste as he splashed some water on his face.

"Oh, you may be sweaty on the outside, but I bet you're feeling pretty accomplished on the inside." she grinned.

"No, I'm pretty sure I'm sweaty on the inside too." Marluxia replied.

"I'm sooo hungry!" Kairi exclaimed holding her stomach as it made odd noises. "Can you call up some donuts again, Yuffie?" she asked looking over to the ninja girl who had just joined the group.

"Donuts?" she murmured thoughtfully. Suddenly her face contracted and she screamed, "No! Not round sugariness!" She collapsed and held her head muttering, "Make it go away, Make it go away!"

"Uh, Yuffie, is that a 'no' to the donuts?" Kairi asked.

"Yessss!"

"Yes to the donuts?"

"Noooo!"

"oh."

-Camp Warriors of Justice

Zexion and Riku were sitting next to the fire when they heard a shriek.

"What was that scream?" Riku asked.

"I'm hypothesizing that it had something to do with Yuffie's life-scarring experience in that Oreo costume. She is now most likely afraid of anything round and sugary." Zexion said as he took notes in his journal.

"What makes you think that?" Riku asked curiously. Zexion looked up from his paper and stared at the teen for a moment, then went back to writing without saying anything.

"You might want to get out of the way." Zexion said as he continued to write.

"Why?" Before Riku could get an answer, he was trampled by Axel, who was too busy fleeing for his life to apologize. Following closely in his wake was Sephiroth - free of his cat costume - with a murderous expression on his face. The pyro suddenly tripped and sprawled out with his face planted in the sand. He scrambled to his knees and kneeled.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I repent! Just don't kill me!" Sephiroth paid no heed to his pleas and grabbed Axel by his hair, pulling him into his torture chamber of Doom.

Riku recovered from his recent trampling and asked, "Shouldn't we stop Sephiroth before he actually kills Axel?"

"Sephiroth may be angry, but he wouldn't kill Axel knowing that we'll need him for tomorrow's challenge." Zexion answered plainly.

"I see what you mean." Riku paused, "But, speaking of being angry, aren't you kinda annoyed about him?" he gestured to Sora who was sleeping next to Zexion and occasionally muttering something related to Zexion-coolness and radio talk shows every few minutes.

The man gave Sora an apathetic look and said, "No, not really."

"Oh. Well, goodnight." Riku said laying down and cuddling up with his rubix cube.

* * *

Okay, it took me a little longer to update this time...Review please. It makes me happy. 


	17. The Eighth Challenge

Once again, I'm sorry for taking so long to update...I've been super busy what with summer school and re-playing Tales of the Abyss...well, mostly just that second one.

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* * *

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**The Eighth Challenge**

Sora began to open his eyes groggily and look around. The last thing he remembered, he had been playing peek-a-boo with a monkey and huggling his cuddly giant teddy bear. He snuggled closer to his teddy with a smile on his face. Suddenly, the teddy looked down at him and said, "Get off of me."

This puzzled Sora and he opened his eyes wider. The teddy bear suddenly morphed into Zexion. The Keyblade Master realized with a start that he was hugging Zexion's arm. Said Nobody was trying in vain to pry Sora off of him. Sora jumped off and launched into an apology.

"I'msososorry! Ithoughtyouweremyteddybearandyouweresocomfyandand-" he stopped to catch his breath and Zexion stood up, brushing his cloak off.

He looked down at his sleeve and said disdainfully, "You slobbered on me..."

That set Sora off onto another long winded apology. "andthatwaswhenIfellintothewaterandstartedplayingwithmydogFrederickthethird,and-" he was suddenly struck in the head with a bright orange nerf ball. He fell to the ground muttering, "Pineapples are buckets full of fun..."

"A challenge? This early in the morning?" Riku mumbled as he sat up from his bed of sand.

Sora looked over at the teen and exclaimed, "Riku has bed head!" It was true - all of Riku's hair was stuck at an odd angle making him look a bit like a Dragonball Z character.

"Shut up Sora." He muttered.

Down at the beachy weachy, everyone was gathered and ready for the next challenge. "Today, Destiny-" Ansem began.

"One two three," Imogene interrupted. The girl was wearing what looked to be an 80's workout instructor costume--complete with spandex, a head band, blue leg warmers, high tops, oh and did I mention spandex? She was jumping around excitedly and exercising.

"has a new-"

"Come on people, let's work it!"

"has a new-" Ansem tried again, louder this time.

"What are you waiting for?! You're wasting valuable workout time!" Imogene exclaimed as she twisted her body into a completely unimaginable state.

"challenge for you." Ansem finished gritting his teeth.

"Are we counting how many seconds it takes to do 15 push ups?" Demyx asked.

"Close, but now quite."

"Damn! I thought I was right on the money with that answer." Demyx said snapping his fingers.

"That reminds me, my workout regiment is low cost! The only thing I require is a year subscription to _Teen _magazine and a pickled radish!" Imogene exclaimed.

"No thanks, I think I've had enough of training regiments to last me a lifetime." Yuffie said, waving her hand in the air.

"You've made me very sad." Imogene said as she walked away to train some passing tourists.

"For today's challenge, you must choose three members from your team to push a boulder up over that hill and down the path, all the way to the finish line." Ansem gestured to a couple of giant boulders. "Now who are the six competitors that will be pushing the boulders?"

From team Dominators, Marluxia, Xigbar, and Cloud were chosen. From team Warriors of Justice, there was Riku, Leon and Sephiroth.

"Now for the second part of the challenge, you will choose two people from each team to protect yourself from obstacles in the race."

"We need to be protected?" Riku asked uncertainly.

"Why, yes. In this race anything goes." Ansem replied with a sinister laugh.

"Anything?" Sora asked wide eyed.

"Anything." He repeated. So, Sora and Axel were chosen from Warriors of Justice while Kairi and Larxene were chosen from Dominators. "On your marks, get set, destiny, go!" Ansem declared so fast that no one understood what he said.

"Wha?" was the uniform sound.

"I said go!" Ansem shooed them toward the boulders. The teams rushed to their boulders and began pushing them on their designated paths.

**-With Team Dominators**

"There is no **way** we'll loose this challenge!" Larxene exclaimed from in front of the boulder.

"Yeah! After all that training you put us through, we're super strong!" Xigbar said as he pushed the boulder along with ease. The three men took a second to show off their bulging biceps before returning to pushing the boulder.

"Fosheezy, it's so easy!" Marluxia exclaimed as he pushed.

The two men on either side of the Graceful Assassin turned to stare at him. "Don't ever say that again." they said simultaneously.

Marluxia scowled. Then, his expression abruptly changed, "Hey, do you guys remember that time..."

-flashback

Back on the very first day at the beach...

"It's really hot out here!" Marluxia complained.

"Suck it up pinky!" Xigbar said fanning himself with a makeshift leaf fan.

"But the heat is going to ruin my hair!" Marluxia whined.

"Normally, I wouldn't even bother telling you this, but just cover your head with a leaf hat and it will protect it." Cloud said idly as he cut a notch out of a tree.

"Great idea!" Marluxia said as he hurried to fashion himself a hat.

"Um, how do you know that?" Xigbar asked raising an eyebrow.

"I have my ways." Cloud shrugged.

-end flashback

"Where was the point in that flashback?" Xigbar asked, annoyed.

"I just felt it necessary to remind you of some good advice." was Marluxia's simple answer.

"Dude, you are so gay." Xigbar said.

"Oh no i'm not!" Marluxia scoffed waving a hand at the Freelance Shooter.

"If you say so." Xigbar shrugged. He looked around then asked, "Hey, wait, where did Kairi and Larxene go?"

"They left while Marluxia was having his flashback." Cloud said without much interest.

**-With Team Warriors of Justice**

"What kinds of things are we supposed to protect you guys from anyway?" Axel asked looking around warily.

"Giant flying trapeze artists!" Sora exclaimed.

"Now that's just- Oh my gosh! Giant flying trapeze artists!" There were, like the two had said, giant flying trapeze artists being launched toward them. "Holy crap! What do we do, What do we do?" Axel panicked raking his hands through his hair. "I know!" he exclaimed, grabbing Sora and holding the boy in front of him as a shield.

Sora squealed. "Ahh! Don't hurt me!"

The trapeze artists landed in front of him and patted his head. "Aww, what a cute little boy! Don't worry, we won't hurt you." they said. Then they turned around and flew away, shouting, "We're blasting off again!"

"Whew, that was a close one!" Axel sighed letting go of Sora and wiping his forehead. Turning to Riku, Leon and Sephiroth, he called out, "Come on guys, hurry up!"

"That's easy for you to say!" Riku muttered, "Why don't you try pushing a giant boulder uphill?"

"Nah, I'm good." Axel said as he fanned his face with his hand.

"Ah, it's so hot!" Leon complained.

"I'll cool you down!" Sora declared running behind the three pushing the boulder. He began to blow on them with all of his might and make wild fanning motions with his arms. Axel burst into laughter seeing Sora's antics. He was laughing so hard that he fell to the ground and rolled to the edge of the path, tumbling off. His laughter was punctuated by his sounds of pain.

"Hahahaha-ow-hahaha-ow-hahaha. ha. ha. ow. I'm okay!" he called to the others.

Sora suddenly exclaimed, "Hey, it's Kairi! Hi Kairi!" He waved at the girl who was accompanied by Larxene. They were a level above team Warriors of Justice and were pushing a boulder that was slightly smaller than the one Riku and the others were pushing.

"They're not going to drop that on us, are they?" Leon asked warily.

Riku shook his head. "Nah, they won't actually drop it on- HOLY SHIT! They're dropping it on us!"

"Don't worry, I'll protect you!" Sora said standing between the incoming boulder and his teammates.

"With what?! Your bare hands?!" Riku exclaimed as he pulled Sora away and to the side. Everyone leapt away as the rock collided with their own and sent it flying down the same ledge Axel had fallen off of.

Meanwhile, at the bottom of that ledge...Axel lay on his back, and had finally stopped chuckling. He looked up, only to see the two giant boulders headed toward him.

Back at the top of the ledge, they heard Axel cry, "This just isn't my day!"

There were two loud crashes as the boulders collided with the ground. "Axel!" Sora cried as he ran to the ledge and jumped off. Riku followed after Sora while Leon and Sephiroth watched from above. Not seeing Axel, Sora looked around frantically until he spotted Axel's boots. Boots that were sticking out from underneath one of the boulders.

Riku gasped and Sora started sobbing. "The author wouldn't _really _kill off a character...would she?" Riku wondered disbelievingly.

"He lived a wonderful life full of fulfillment and magic markers!" Sora cried.

"Who did?" Axel asked.

"Axel did!" Sora replied still sobbing.

"I did?" Axel asked again.

"Yeah, you - Axel?!" Sora looked up and verified that the red head was actually there. "But why-how-but-but your boots!" Sora stuttered.

"Oh that? They got caught when I tried to get out of the way, so I slipped out of them and left them there." Axel replied casually.

"How did you manage to get them off in time?" Riku asked skeptically.

"Cuz I'm cool like that." Axel said as he yanked his boots free. "Man, now my boots are crushed!" he complained.

"I was hoping that boulder would have crushed you." Sephiroth said sullenly from his spot above them.

"Ah, bite me!" Axel yelled at him. Sephiroth cracked his knuckles. "Er - I meant that in the nicest way possible." he yelled back.

So, in the end, team Warriors of Justice ended up loosing the challenge.

"That's no fair!" Riku yelled at Ansem once they got to the finish line. "They interfered with us!" he yelled pointing at Larxene and Kairi who were busy whistling and kicking the sand trying to look innocent.

Ansem shrugged, "I did say anything goes."

"How many times have I had to tell you?! You've got to work your buns and thighs!" Imogene shouted at a poor tourist who was most certainly broken in many places.

"But I broke my left thigh and I have severe allergies!" the man protested.

"Hahahah! Victory is ours!" Larxene laughed. "There is no way you can compete with our super powerful team!" On cue, the superpower crew assembled.

"Super," Xigbar said.

"Team," Kairi said.

"Go," Marluxia said.

"Exclamation point." Cloud muttered unenthusiastically.

"What is the prize?" Yuffie asked, secretly hoping it wasn't a pencil sharpener.

"A dump truck full of fruit and a single bottle of champagne, which Destiny will deliver to your camp upon your return." Ansem said.

-Council fire

"I'm tired, cranky and I have sand in my shoes, so let's get this over with!" Ansem said. Yada yada yada. Things happened and there were votes ready to be counted. "Alrighty then - the votes are in and stand as thus: Axel - 3, Sephiroth - 5."

There was a deathly silence. No one dared to look at the newest looser.

"You dared to vote me off?!" the silver haired man yelled. One Winged Angel began to play in the background as meteors struck the island. There were several screams - many of them issued by Ansem, and everyone ran for cover.

"It's the end of the world!" Xemnas screamed.

"The sky is falling!" Sora cried.

"Goodbye cruel world." Vexen said as he sipped a spot of tea.

Then, the trapdoor opened and Sephiroth fell through. Abruptly, the music stopped and the sky cleared.

The area was silent, save for the sounds of sizzling from things the meteors burned. Ansem coughed and emerged from underneath his podium. "I believe you should be getting back to your campsite." He said as he walked off to go eat a pastrami sandwich.

* * *

OH MAI GOD! I'M SORRY SEPHIROTH!!! (And all of you out there who loved Sephiroth) but the story had to go on, and the magical finger landed on Sephy's name...

Anyway, if you havn't totally disowned me for getting rid of Sephiroth, review please...


	18. English Accents are Fun like That

**English Accents are Fun Like That**

-Camp Dominators

"So, um, what are we going to do with all of this fruit?

"We could… make a fruit smoothie." Demyx suggested.

"We've already done that!" Larxene said holding out a coconut half filled with a curious fruity substance.

"Oh." Demyx muttered.

"Isn't we supposed to be having a fiesta?!" Kairi asked, pulling out her portable mini radio and playing some salsa music. And the whole group broke out in song and dance.

-5 minutes later. Xigbar was dancing wildly, singing, "I've got sand in my pants! I've got sand in my pa-ants!!!" He ran around the fire throwing leaves and generally being a complete mofo.

-10 minutes later. "I will kill you with a plastic fork!" Kairi screamed, charging a nearby pelican. It squawked and threw a mud ball at the advancing girl's face.

-15 minutes later. Marluxia had accused everyone and their moms of being racist.

-At 20 minutes, Supernanny had arrived to calm the unruly children.

"Where are the parents?!" She asked in that English accent of hers. She grabbed Larxene and Xigbar and scolded them. "How could you let your children behave as such?!" She demanded waving her hands in the direction of the party.

"Hold on- what in the world gives you the idea that those are our children?!" Larxene asked scathingly, pulling her arm out of the woman's hold.

"Because you two are the oldest people here, so logically, it follows that they are your children." Supernanny replied.

A vein popped somewhere in the region of Larxene's face as she replayed that moment over and over in slow motion. _"Old…old…old…"_

"Dude! No one here looks even remotely related!" Xigbar exclaimed.

"_Old…old…old…"_

"Why of course they do! Look - even those two have the same eyes!" Supernanny said pointing to Demyx and Cloud.

"_Old…old…old…"_

"Anyway, like I said, you two are horrid parents. Look what a poor job of parenting you've done! You've turned this perfectly respectable young man gay!" Supernanny pulled Marluxia into the argument.

"Hey! I'm not gay!" Marluxia whined.

"Yes you are dear, now hush up." The woman scolded him. Marluxia scowled and walked away.

"_Old…old! Old! Ooooold!!!!" _Larxene had finally blown and violently charged Supernanny, pulling at the woman's neat little bun.

"Oh no you didn't!" The woman exclaimed throwing Larxene off of her back and pulling out her extendo-gloves. "Never pay too much for car insurance!" She yelled as she pounced on the blonde Nobody.

(A/N: No characters, people or tropical birds were harmed in the making of this scene)

The fight lasted a neat 497 seconds - or if you will, 8 minutes and 17 seconds, or 7.34394ths of an hour, or…never mind. Anyway, Supernanny picked up what was left of her mascara and ran away screaming, "I'll be back and I will fix your way of living!"

-The following is a subliminal message-

You want a rice crispy treat.

-end subliminal message-

-Camp Warriors of Justice

"It feels so… strange without Sephiroth here." Leon commented.

"I know what you mean…" Zexion said. The two let out a simultaneous sigh.

"What's up with them?" Axel asked watching the two usually apathetic men sulk.

"Ah, they're just depressed since they lost the power of their emo trinity." Xemnas said.

"Personally, I'm glad he's gone. There's no more killer intent hanging around the camp." Axel said contently.

"Yeah, you would be since you were number one on his 'to murder' list." Xemnas smirked.

There was suddenly a loud explosion followed by the sounds of Vexen's cursing.

"What's wrong?" Sora asked into the smoke cloud that had gathered around the scientist.

"I, er, made a slight miscalculation." Vexen muttered. The smoke cleared revealing the Nobody who had a blackened face and hair that had become lime green.

Sora's eyes widened and he exclaimed, "OMG! There's a gremlin on your head Vexen!"

Said scientist was too embarrassed to correct him. "Just, never mind that." He mumbled.

"What were ya doin'?" Axel asked.

"I was creating a formula that would help us win challenges." Vexen said puffing out his chest.

"But you failed?"

Vexen deflated then yelled, "Respect your elders!"

"I wasn't disrespecting you!"

Vexen's eyes darted all over the place before he said, "Yes you were! You didn't bow down to me!"

Axel raised his eyebrows and asked, "You don't really expect me to actually-" Vexen glared ice daggers at Axel and the Nobody quickly knelt to the ground. "I respect you greatly O old one! I respect the fact that you use face creams to try and hide your wrinkles! I respect your old person smell! I even respected you when you yelled at me and Demyx to quit playing on you lawn!"

Vexen's eye twitched. "No one was supposed to know about my face cream!" He yelled as Axel got up and ran for cover, dodging little ice daggers.

"Why is it that Axel is always on someone's nerves?" Riku wondered out loud.

"Because, obviously, he is a mental case." Xemnas replied.

Meanwhile, Sora had decided to wander around the area surrounding the camp. He walked around humming and occasionally shouting out "Pop goes the weasel!" A bit later, his abnormally large feet started to hurt so he pulled out a chair and sat down. Then, it occurred to him that it was a little odd that there was a chair in the middle of the forest. Looking around, he realized that he was sitting in an outdoor restaurant.

There was a smiling blonde cook at the counter who asked, "Would you like to order sir?"

Sora stroked his chin thoughtfully and said, "Uh, yeah. I'd like the number 4."

"Cheeseburger with fries and a chocolate milkshake?"  
"Yep."

"That'll be $4.50." He said as he pressed buttons on the cash register without even looking at it.

"Do you take credit?"

"Sure!" The man replied, still grinning as he took the offered card. Sora blinked a couple of times as something reeeeealy shiny reflected in his eyes.

"What's wrong sir?" The man asked, still not looking down at what his hands were punching into the cash register.

"Um, your teeth are kinda bright."

The man (who had been christened 'Ralfe' by his nametag) dropped his grin and said in a low voice, "No they're not." Then he started smiling again. Ralfe handed Sora a receipt and said, "Your order number is 1. Your food will be with you shortly." The smiling man went behind a curtain and there was a sound of a blender turning on. Then, several more alarming sound came from behind the curtain such as an elephant roar, helicopter blades turning, a dog barking, a fire alarm, tires screeching, an ostrich singing, a sports announcer, a shot gun, then finally, a long piercing scream. There was silence as the man emerged (still smiling) with a tray of food.

Sora was trembling in fear and asked uncertainly, "Hey, um, Ralfe, what were those noises?"

The smile dropped off of the cook's face for a second time and he said, "I heard nothing." Then, like before, he went back to being happy.

"Oh, well, I guess I'm gonna…eat now." Sora said sitting down and eating the food. After finishing, he decided that he should get back to camp and drag the others to this place. So, at top speed, he ran back to camp, hearded the others and dragged them through the forest and to the restaurant.

"And then I ordered a number 4 and he was like 'a cheeseburger with fries and a chocolate milkshake?' and I was like-" Sora stopped talking once they reached the restaurant. Though there were a couple of differences now. One was the fact that there was no smiling blonde cook. Another was a large 'out of business' sign hanging on the counter.

"You mean we came all this way for nothing?!" Xigbar exclaimed. "Dude, that's not cool!"

"Oh! Now's my chance to find out what's behind that curtain!" Sora exclaimed hopping over the counter. He pulled the sheet of fabric back and revealed… a plain bbq pit and a toy llama. Sora picked the toy up and squeezed it.

"Llama!" Said the toy in a high pitched voice.

"Oooh! How cool!" Sora squealed and squeezed it again.

"Llama!" And again. Llama!" And again. "Report to your next challenge at the giant coconut tree!" It said in a deep voice. And again. Llama!"

"Wait, what was that last one?" Riku asked. Sora pushed the magical rewind button on the llama's tail.

"You heard me mofo, report to your next challenge!" It said again in the deep voice.

"Does anyone else find that toy disturbing?" Zexion asked.

Everyone raised their hands and muttered, "I do."


	19. The Ninth Challenge

**The Ninth Challenge**

The two teams gathered at the giant coconut tree and were waiting for Ansem to arrive. Suddenly the host dropped down between them from his place on one of the tree's branches. Ignoring their surprise at his sudden appearance, he said, "Hello teams, Destiny! Today's challenge is Destiny! Where you will Destiny! and Destiny! yourselves to Destiny! Hahahaha!"

Ummm, what?

"How come you're a little more…Destiny obsessed today?" Yuffie asked.

Ansem was bouncing around. "I dunno, maybe I had too much Destiny! flavored coffee this morning."

"Well, you'd better retain your sanity long enough to tell us what our damn challenge is." Larxene said.

"Okay, I'll try." Ansem said blowing his nose with a leaf of lettuce. Looking like it was a great effort, the man composed himself and began talking. "Today's challenge is a test of your navigational skizalls (skills for those of you out there who don't speak gangsta lingo). Each team will be dropped off at a random point on the island and will have to find their way back to this spot within 4 hours…Destiny! Destiny! Destiny! Destiny! Destiny! Destiny! Destiny! Destiny! Destiny!"

"Well, he's gone. Let's go." Axel said getting into their special helicopter of exciting colors.

The two teams were promptly taken to their starting points and shoved out of helicopters.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the island, Imogene woke up and climbed out of bed, smoothing her angry snowflake pajamas. She looked at her calender.

"Holy cricket! Today was a challenge day!" she exclaimed. There was a pause. "Oh well, They can handle without me. So I think I'll just watch Milo and Otis instead..." And the co-host wandered to the television room and plopped down on her couch, eating a blueberry waffel.

-With Team Warriors of Justice

"And the most wonderful thing about tiggers is that iiiii'm the only one!" Sora sang.

"Don't make eye contact - maybe he'll stop." Axel muttered to the rest of the team.

"Which way should we go?" Leon asked, looking around for ideas.  
"Heck, I don't know! I provide the looks of this team - the rest of you provide the thinking power." Axel said running his hand through his hair.

"Yyyyeah." Leon said, "Anyway, does anyone have an actual plan?"

"Ooh! Ooh! I know!" Sora exclaimed raising a hand wildly. He grabbed a stick and knelt down, drawing something in the dirt. He pointed to a little circle and said, "That is where we are now-" He pointed to a little banana shape then said, "that is a banana tree," He pointed to a big happy face, "And that is the finish line!"

"Okay, now how do we get there?" Xemnas asked looking dubiously at the smiley face.

"We walk silly!" Sora grinned.

"I should have known that he would say something like that." Xemnas said rubbing his forehead in exasperation.

Riku sighed. "If only Sora had his meds - with them he was a n expert navigator."

Vexen stroked his chin in a very thought provoking manor and mulled, "I suppose this could give me the chance to experiment with my latest concoction."

"Your latest what now?" Axel asked the Chilly Academic curiously.

"Well, I've created a formula that might help Sora temporarily retain his normal self." Vexen answered.

"And if it doesn't?" Riku asked warily.

"I dunno. He'll implode or something." Vexen shrugged.

"Let's do it! What have we got to loose?!" Xemnas said as Vexen took a test tube out of his cloak pocket.

"Only my friend!" Riku half shouted indignantly.

"Like I said, what have we got to loose?" Xemnas repeated. He grabbed the tube out of Vexen's hand and uncorked it. Then, he reached for Sora and forced the formula into the boy's mouth. Surprised, Sora swallowed the stuff then pulled the tube out of his mouth.

"That stuff tasted like tofu…" He blinked, then looked around.

"What are we doing standing around here? We need to get going." He said seriously.

Riku gasped. "It worked!"

Vexen sighed. "It worked." (a certain someone was hoping for an unfortunate side effect. Say, imploding anyone?)

"So which way do we go?" Axel asked.

Sora looked around then pointed. "That way." And the set off in the direction Sora led them in.

"Exactly how long is your formula going to last?" Zexion asked Vexen as they walked.

"Hmm, considering the amount he took, the time of day and the fact that he had a cheeseburger for lunch, I'd say 3 hours." Vexen answered.

Zexion nodded and said, "Let's just hope we reach the coconut tree before the meds wear off."

-With team Dominators

Demyx was staring intently at Larxene and she wasn't happy about it.

"What are you staring at me for?!" She demanded. "Oh, have you been rendered speechless by my beauty? Or have you fallen head over heels in love with me?"

Demyx shuddered. "No, you have a uni-brow."

Larxene froze. So did everyone else. They all stared at her forehead, and just as Demyx said, there was a uni-brow.

Larxene screamed and pulled out her mini mirror. "Nooooo! Go away!" She yelped clawing at her reflection. Suddenly, her eyes glinted dangerously and she lunged, catching Kairi by the ankles.

"Aaah! What did I do?!" The red head exclaimed.

"You must have some tweezers on you somewhere and I want them!" Larxene said in a crazed voice. Kairi screamed as Larxene pulled her up (by the ankles) and shook her. Little nick-nacks began falling from the girl such as a fruit rollup, a magazine, a picture of Sora eating a grilled cheese sandwich, a five pound weight, and a mickey mouse plushie. Finally a pair of tweezers fell out and Larxene threw the girl aside and ran for them. With a triumphant shout, she held the tweezers up into the air and ran behind a tree to pluck her eyebrows.

"Hey guys! I say we leave her behind and hope she gets lost!" Xigbar said enthusiastically.

Yuffie and Kairi gasped. "No! We could never!"

"Aren't you tired of how she treats you?" Demyx asked. Cloud nodded.

"Well, um…" Yuffie murmured.

"You know that she'll just vote you off to get the prize for herself." Marluxia commented. Cloud nodded.

"But…" Kairi began looking down. Cloud nodded.

"Dude! What are you nodding for?" Xigbar asked the blonde man. Cloud nodded again. Then he realized that he had been asked a question.

"Uhm…50 steps north and take a right at the next parking lot." he answered.

"What?" Xigbar asked confused.

Larxene emerged, freshly plucked and looked at the rest of the team. "Well? What are you waiting for? Let's go!" She pointed east and set off. Little did she know, they were going in the complete opposite direction from the tree.

-With team Warriors of Justice

Sora's meds were beginning to wear off.

"This isn't good…" Axel muttered. They were currently about 30 minutes away from their destination.

Sora had been about to give his final direction when he suddenly saw something shiney and became distracted, so that all that they heard was, "Lef-"

"He must have been about to say left!" Xemnas said confidently as he began walking toward the left. The others followed him, dragging the now oblivious Keyblade Master.

But what they didn't know was that Sora was really going to say was, "Left we will not go - right it is."

-Back at the finish line, Ansem was watching a little pocket watch.

"3...2...1!!! Bing bing bing! The challenge is over!" Looking up to see the winner, he saw…a squirrel.

"Yay! You won the challenge squirrely!" He jumped toward the frightened squirrel and picked it up, swinging it by it's little arms. He stopped swinging the poor little mammal and murmured to himself, "Wait, a squirrel can't win a prize! That's just silly!" He dropped the squirrel and pulled a walkie talkie out of his pocket

"Destinylover1 to supersquad, come in." Out of the radio there was a reply.

"_Supersquad here, what is it?"_

"The little lambs need a pickup."

"_Copy that sir, we'll get right on it."_

-Two helicopter pickups later…

The two teams were gathered on the finish line.

"So who won the challenge?" Goofy asked. Wait, Goofy?

"What are you doing here Goofy?" Sora asked.

Goofy looked around and asked, "Who's Goofy? I don't see any Goofy." The dog creature picked up a leaf and held it in front of his face. "You don't see me…" he said hypnotically as he backed away towards the trees. Reaching them, he abandoned the leaf and ran away leaving everyone very confuzzled.

Ansem shrugged it off with a comical expression on his face, saying, "Disney characters - what are ya gonna do about em?" There was the sound of studio audience laughter in the background. "Anyway, since neither team made it back here within four hours, no one wins the challenge and both teams will go to tribal council."

"What?! That's not fair!" Yuffie complained.

Ansem glared at the ninja girl and said, "Donuts."

"Aaaaaaaahhh!!" Yuffie collapsed in a faint.

Ansem smirked. "That oughta teach her."

-Council Fire

"Alrighty, team Warriors of Justice is up first. Let the voting commence!" So the team finished their voting and sat down waiting for Ansem to tally the votes.

"So the final tally is Sora - 1, Axel - 1, Xemnas - 1, and Leon - 2." The group turned to gauge the man's reaction.

Leon shrugged. "Eh, I don't really care." And the trap door opened underneath him.

"Destiny bid his soul farewell. Now it's your turn, team Dominators."

The team members each cast their vote and returned to their seats. "I will now tally the votes." Ansem said gathering the slips of paper.

A certain few of team Dominator's members were sweating bullets. Everyone watched nervously as Ansem cleared his throat and said, "The results are in and they are: Yuffie - 1, Larxene - 6. Larxene, it looks like you're out."

"What?!" The Savage Nymph shrieked. She turned on the rest of her team. "How dare you vote me out? I have power over you! Power I say, power!" The trap door opened and saved team Dominators from a slow bloody death.

"S-she's finally gone…" Demyx muttered clutching his chest.

"Yahoo! She's gone!" Xigbar yelled jubilantly. Suddenly, a hand reached out from the trap door pit and Larxene struggled to raise herself out of it.

"You can't get rid of me that easily!" She screeched, straining to climb out. The entire team jumped back in shock and Demyx nearly wet himself. (not that kind of wet himself you funny bunnies! He almost fell into a large cauldron filled with pomegranate juice).

"Mail's here!" A man in a post office uniform ran into the middle of the clearing, unintentionally kicking Larxene's hand back into the hole. She fell with an evil sounding scream. (Which was quite an accomplishment - what in the world does an evil scream sound like anyway?)

The mail man held up a large sack and handed it over to Ansem who accepted it with a look of contained glee.

"What's in the sack?" Demyx asked.

"What sack? I see no sack!" Ansem said attempting to hide said sack behind his back.

"Um, anywho, can we get back to our camp? I'd like to get some rest." Riku sighed.

"Not quite, the fun's not done yet kitties." Ansem smiled. "As a little added surprise, team Dominators and Warriors of Justice will now be joining together to form one single team called Destiny's Ninjas."

There were a few surprised murmurs as whispered conversations were struck up.

"Yay! More friends!" Sora said happily.

"This means that challenges will now be performed by individuals instead of teams." The groups quieted themselves, realizing that now, more than ever, every single person around them was an enemy. "And now I will leave you amongst yourselves to decide which camp will become your new base." Ansem said stepping into the trapdoor.

"What the?! Did he just-" Vexen sputtered.

"Just kidding!" Ansem exclaimed popping out from behind a pillar and walking away into the night.

"How did he…never mind, I don't want to know." Riku decided folding his arms stubbornly.

So after a long heated debate about whether or not the chicken came before the egg, it was determined that team Dominator's camp would become the new camp Destiny's Ninjas. Team Warriors of Justice gathered their belongings from their old camp and followed team dominators to their new one.

* * *

What new challenges will our heroes - or zeroes - face next? Find out on the next episode of Pokemon! (insert pokemon theme song here). 


	20. Super Smexy Runway Models

**Author's note: **(I have a slightly longer one than usual)

Hello! I just thought I would start this chapter out by saying that I just remembered something about the title--some of you might say, "oh, that's interesting." others will say "why in the heck do we care?" Well, I'm just gonna tell you anyway. Originally, the island's name, Malaguapu, was going to be changed to Malahuevos (which kinda means bad eggs if you don't know any Spanish). But the new title didn't have the same _flare_, so I changed it back. Now wasn't that a lovely story that makes you want to make a grab for the nearest tissue?

Now, on to business. With the start of school, I won't be able to commit nearly as much time to writing this story. There's that and the fact that I am writing another story. AND, now don't cry when I tell you this, but I am running low on the random juice. I know, it's horrible.

So if you, my little reader bunchkins, have any ideas that I can use for a challenge (not plan it all out for me, just an idea) that would be lovely and I would send you a free electronic huggle. What else do you want--money? I'm not Bill Gates! Anyway, I still have some ideas up my sleeve, so don't go all emo and depressed on me. Just read this boring and depressingly random free chapter and leave a review. sigh, I've made myself go emo

The former members of team Warriors of Justice dropped their belongings upon arriving at the Dominator's campsite. "Whoa! There's a waterfall here?!" Sora exclaimed excitedly jumping around. Axel hissed at the water and jumped back a few feet.

"Hey Kairi, how's it goin'?" Riku asked a bit forced. Kairi hesitated.

"Look…I'm sorry for how I acted back in those challenges. It was Larxene's influence, I guess. Can you and Sora ever forgive me?" she asked pleadingly.

"I suppose…and I'm sure Sora - Sora? Hey, where'd Sora go?" Riku asked looking around for any trace of the brunette.

"Up there!" Kairi pointed over Riku's shoulder. Sora was perched at the top of the waterfall, poised to dive into the water below. He had stripped himself of his shirt and shoes, leaving only his cargo pant thingys on.

"Look at me! I'm gonna jump!" he called out waving to everyone down below.

"Uh, is the little man always like this?" Xigbar asked.

"Unfortunately, yes." Vexen answered rolling his eyes as he went to go find a suitable spot for his experiments.

"Cowabunga!" Sora yelled as he leapt. Zexion watched him fall and with a sigh of dread, realized the he was too close to the water. Sora hit the surface of the pond with a belly flop. There was a collective twinge of sympathy at the sound of the painful smack. Zexion, on the other hand, did not feel like sympathizing with Sora seeing as how he was now soaked. He sighed again and went to find a suitable spot to hang his cloak.

Yuffie watched the Nobody, then went over to Kairi and nudged her. "Hey, Mr. Hottie is about to take his cloak off." Kairi giggled and Riku gagged slightly.

"Speaking of which, why don't any of you Organization members take your cloaks off?" Riku asked Axel recovering from his gagging attack.  
"We are hott!" Axel said smirking.

"I didn't mean that!" Riku grumbled, annoyed.

"Simple - we don't sweat."

"So then, what is underneath those cloaks?"

Marluxia, who happened to be nearby, overheard Riku's question and said with a glint in his eye and a rose in his hand, "You know what this means! We must reveal our awesome fashion senses to the world!"

So, before they could complain, everyone was dragged over to a makeshift walkway to watch as the Organization members revealed what was under their cloaks. Zexion refused to participate and insisted that everyone leave him alone while he took off his cloak. Of course, no one listened. Zexion took his cloak off to reveal…a long sleeved black shirt and black pants.

"Do you wear anything aside from black?" Riku asked.

"Yes - silver." Zexion answered pointing to the zipper on his currently wet Organization cloak.

"Me next! Me next!" Marluxia exclaimed taking his cloak off to reveal…a pink floral shirt with green letters that read 'flower power' and green shorts. "What do you think? Does it bring out the color of my eyes?" he asked pointing to his eyes which were sparkling like mad. No one answered. "Pshaw, y'all know you're just jealous! Don't be hatein'!" Marluxia said with a gangsta girl accent while brandishing his finger and swinging his head in that crazy wazy movement. (you all know the one I mean).

"Okay, time to reveal my smexyness!" Axel said taking his cloak off to reveal a fire red shirt and black pants with fire patterns on the bottom. Okay, no surprise there.

"What's with that thing?" Demyx asked pointing to a turquoise wrist band on Axel's left arm.

"Oh, this? I wear it to calm my mood - doctor's orders." he answered holding said wristband up and staring at it. "Ah. I feel calm. Like the ocean." he trailed off. "Oh noes! There's a storm coming!" he exclaimed, suddenly panicking. "Abandon ship! Abandon ship!" he called as he made a leaping motion and made swimming gestures in midair.

"Snap out of it, Axel!" Yuffie yelled, shaking the Nobody back and forth.

Axel blinked. "Thank you, Yuffie. You saved me from certain damnation and so, as a reward, I present you with this token of my gratitude." Axel pulled a shiny penny out of his pocket and placed it in Yuffie's hand.

"Uhm…You're welcome?" she said uncertainly as Axel walked back to watch as Demyx revealed what he was wearing. The Melodious Nocturne was dressed in a light blue shirt with tan cargo pants.

"Move out of the way, Dem-dem! The great Xigbar is coming through!" Xigbar shoved Demyx aside and took his cloak off. The Freelance Shooter was wearing black cargo pants and a light purple shirt that said 'Fun in the sun' with a picture of Santa Clause holding a wiener dog while on a surfboard. "Isn't my shirt wicked awesome? I got it at a flee market for $7!"

Yeah…right at this point, the author lost interest and didn't give a damn about what the Organization members were wearing, but she was determined to finish this chapter anyway.

So, now the only two members that still had their cloaks on were Xemnas and Vexen. "Come on! I want to know what you're wearing!" Sora pleaded giving the scientist his best puppy dog look.

"Hmm, let me think…for you? How about…NO."

"Aww, don't be like that." Axel said. Using his special powers of smexyness, Axel got Vexen out of his cloak. He was wearing a white scientific looking suit with exciting pocket protectors! How unexpected (and unoriginal)! Now, everyone gathered around Xemnas as he was the only one still wearing his cloak.

"I don't care what you do or say, I will not take my cloak off." But sadly, within a few moments, Xemnas' cloak was off, revealing what he was wearing. He had ripped Abercrombie jeans and a tight fitting pink shirt that read 'I'm a Barbie girl!'

Silence. "Um, you see…my other clothes were in the wash and um…this was the only…one…" he trailed off, tomato faced. There were about 3.4 more seconds of silence before everyone burst into laughter. "Don't laugh at meee!" Xemnas wailed as he ran away, crying.

"That was an unusually amusing article of clothing." Zexion chuckled.

"Yo yo yo! Look out for that missile!" Cloud exclaimed, pointing up in the air.

"Did he just- did he actually say that?" Yuffie gaped. The group looked up in response to the man's exclamation and saw a giant missile headed for them. They all ducked in cover, but the missle hit the ground and showered them with dirt--no big _boom. _They gathered around it warily. As they approached it, it started to rumble, though instead of blowing up, it shot out a piece of paper.

"What do you want to bet that's our next challenge?" Kairi asked. They all looked at the paper intently, not a single one making a move to pick up the paper.

"Get on with it!" a group of passing soldiers yelled, waving their swords. (Think Monty Python, my children)


	21. The Tenth Challenge

Sorry peeps. I meant to get this chapter out on Monday, but I was so busy I forgot...**

* * *

** **The Tenth Challenge**

"Hello team Destiny's Ninjas!" Ansem shouted as soon as he could see the approaching team.

"I wonder what todays challenge is?" Vexen mused as they walked up to where Ansem stood.

"Probably something to do with banshees--I just know it!" Demyx said, his face contorting in fear.

"That would be, like, the stupidest challenge ever." Imogene said appearing next to Demyx.

"Aaaah!" he leapt back in surprise. The girl was dressed in a school uniform with her hair in two pigtails. In her arms, there were two textbooks--an English one and another one titled, 'So You Want to Take Over the World'.

"What are you staring at?" she asked smacking her gum loudly.

"Um, nothing."

"Listen, can we hurry up and announce this challenge? I have some major partying-er, I mean studying to do." Imogene said.

Ansem muttered something under his breath and asked, "So, how was your first day of togetherness?"

"Not cool, yo, not cool." Xemnas said, still blushing from having his clothes exposed. [See chapter 20 for an exclusive description of Xemnas' Barbie shirt and Abercrombe jeans - At the moment, he was holding his cloak to his chest self-consciously.

"I think we need to rename ourselves." Vexen said. "Because I am sick of everything around here revolving around 'Destiny'." He waved his hands in the air as he said Destiny.

"What was that gesture for?" Xigbar asked.

"I felt it necessary to convey the concept of 'Destiny'." Vexen answered waving his hands in the air again.

I want lemonade! Okay, back to the story…

"You cannot change your name, you ingrate!" Ansem shouted through a megaphone.

"Whatever." Vexen said deciding to ignore the man.

"Did you hear me? I said, _you cannot change your name, you ingrate_!" Ansem shouted into the megaphone again.

"Aaah! I heard you, you old bat!" Vexen said covering his ears.

"Well that's the pot calling the kettle black." Ansem retorted. There was a loud 'oooh, burn!' from the team.

A flustered Vexen said, "J-just tell us the challenge already."

"Alright, today's challenge will test the limits of your minds-" at this, Sora whined and clutched his head.

"Thinking hurts my brain!"

Ignoring Sora, Ansem continued, "As I was saying, it will test the limits of your minds by asking you a series of questions. Those who score within the top six will receive prizes, however, only the person who scores the highest shall win the immunity idol." Ansem referred to a bottle cap necklace (with Destiny written all over it) that was hanging on a post.

Then, Ansem's lovely (lovely meaning old and wrinkled) office assistant, Doris, showed everyone to their desks and passed our pencils and paper. Ansem went to the front of the 'classroom' and began.

"Question #1. What is the traveling velocity of an African swallow?"

"Aaah! I give up!" Demyx cried, holding his head and falling out of his seat in a faint.

"Dude! What kind of question is that?!" Xigbar exclaimed.

"Just answer it." A few scribbled answers later, Ansem said the next question. "What is the Spanish word for toilet?"

Yuffie raised her hand. "Can I use the phone a friend option?"

"That's only on 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?' not 'Survivor'. Get your TV shows straight. Next question, on the hit show, 'My Friend the Emotionally Unstable Panda' (not an actual show to my knowledge) who was Panda's best friend?"

"If a tree falls in the middle of a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound?"

"How many times do I have 'Destiny' tattooed on my body?"

"What was my mother's maiden name?"

"How old do you have to be to legally ride a bike?"

"Why do Vexen's feet stink?"

"Hey!" Vexen shouted indignantly as he stuffed flowers in his boots.

The questions went on like this for a while before Ansem said, "Okay, the final question is: What is the color of my eyes?" everyone looked up and squinted at him, then scribbled an answer on the paper. "Now I will grade your papers accordingly - in the meantime, please enjoy this lovely elevator music." He pressed a button and elevator music began playing. After a few minutes of grading filled funness, he stacked all of the papers. "And now the person who scored highest on this challenge was--"

"Hold the phone!" Imogene shouted.

"What?" Ansem asked, irritated at her interuption.

"I wanna ask _you _a question!" she said.

"Fine, if it'll make you happy." the host said, giving in.

"Okay, if you were bent on taking over the world, what would you do first? A) Enslave all minor celebrities and command them to make lemonade stands, B) Hold the world's cheese supply for ransom, C) Kill a mosquito, or D) Blast Antarctica in half and _then _kill a mosquito?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"Just answer it."

"Fine, B."

"What a wonderfully evil answer, Ansem." Imogene giggled as she scribbled something down on the paper in front of her.

"Anyway, as I was saying, the person who scored highest on this challenge was...Sora!"

"Yay!" Sora yelled happily. An odd sort of scream issued from Zexion's pocket interrupted everyone's shock that Sora won.

"Um…Zexion? What was that?" Riku asked nervously.

"The sound of my pride dying." Zexion answered emotionlessly as he pulled out a little mini heart shaped thingy labeled 'pride' out of his pocket and tossed it aside.

"Now hold on! I refuse to believe that this little mental case managed to beat all of us!" Xemnas yelled.

"Well, face the facts you whimpering little boy!" Ansem said as he draped the immunity bottle cap idol around Sora's neck.

"What about the rest of us? Who all gets the prize?" Cloud asked.

Ansem grinned. "Oh, I haven't forgotten about that. But first, don't you want to know what the prizes are?" he pulled out a sack. "These are prizes that I'm sure everyone wants. They are the things you miss the most." Ansem pulled out a little TV.

Sora gasped and yelled out, "Telli!" He ran forth, hugging it.

"Wait a sec…that's Sora's actual television, straight from his room!" Kairi realized.

"Yes. The top scorers, get their own prized possessions."

"So you snuck through our stuff? How'd you manage that?" Xigbar asked.

"He he. Wouldn't you like to know…" Ansem said. "Okay, the second highest scorer was…Zexion!" Ansem reached into the bag and pulled out a switchblade.

"Nancy!" The stoic Nobody suddenly exclaimed rushing forward to claim his prize lovingly.

"Nancy?" the rest of the group asked. Getting over the fact that Zexion had named his switchblade, Ansem announced the next winner.

"Next is Vexen." Ansem pulled out a worn out looking science kit.

"Yeah! Now I can combine this with the stuff I already have at the camp!" Vexen said happily as he stroked his green hair. "Though first things first - I need to make a formula that will help my hair. I'm getting split ends!"

"Oh you poor man!" Marluxia exclaimed clutching his own hair in fear.

"Cloud, you're up." Cloud's prize turned out to be…a set of Harry Potter books.

"Cool! I can catch up on my reading!" he said hugging the books to his chest.

"Next is my dear buddy Riku." Riku stepped forward with his fingers crossed. "Riku, you have an odd choice in your most missed item." Ansem said as he pulled out a set of earplugs.

Riku leapt for joy. "Yes! Hahahah! Woohoo!"

"Now I bet the rest of you are all wondering who will be the last one to get a prize." the rest of the group nodded. Doris handed Ansem a flashcard with the name of the last winner. "And the is-" Ansem looked down at the card. "Um, Doris? Are you sure this is right?" The woman nodded. "Alright," Ansem continued skeptically, "The winner is Xemnas!"

The leader of Organization 13 laughed and proclaimed, "Darkness always prevails!" Getting over the initial disappointment that they lost to Xemnas, the rest of the group got curious.

"What is his most prized possession?" Demyx wondered.

"Yeah! Hurry up and show us!" Xigbar said.

Ansem reached into the sack and pulled out…a copy of High School Musical!

"Ooh! It's my favorite movie!" Xemnas shouted gleefully. No one quite knew what to say to that.

"Uh, it's even signed by the cast…" Yuffie pointed out.

"So what if I'm a huge fan who may or may not have a poster of Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron hanging in my room!" Xemnas shouted defensively.

(A/N: I am not a fan of that show and to this day, I have no idea why I know and remember what the cast members names are. You just pick up odd things on the path of life.)

-Council Fire

"This is your first tribal council as a unified group. What are your feelings on this?" Ansem asked putting a microphone next to Zexion.

"Eh. I don't really care." he replied as he fingered Nancy.

"Well, what about you?" Ansem asked heading toward Kairi.

"Aaaah! The pedophile is coming toward me!" the girl screamed, hiding behind Axel.

"You are wearing my patience, girl!" Ansem yelled looking behind Axel. But, instead of Kairi, there sat a panda munching a leaf. It looked up and tilted it's head questionably at Ansem's puzzled expression.

"Aah! Kairi turned into a panda!" Sora exclaimed.

"That can't be her. There has to be a logical - aha! There she is!" Vexen said pointing. Kairi was currently trying to escape by building a rocket.

"Damn! I've been ratted out!" she yelled glaring at a nearby rock.

"Doris! Don't let her escape!" Ansem commanded.

The normally docile old woman leapt into action and whacked Kairi over the head with a ruler. "It is time to vote!" she shouted with an 'or else' expression on her face. So, fearful of the old woman, everyone got on with the voting.

After a few minutes, the votes were tallied and ready to be read off. "The votes follow as such: Cloud - 3, Axel - 2,

Yuffie - 7. Yuffie, you are the next to be voted off of the island! And about time, too!"

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean, 'about time'?" Yuffie asked.

"It means that I don't like you and that I'm glad that you're going." Ansem answered, folding his arms and nodding.

"Wha-but-" Before Yuffie could say anymore, she was grabbed by a giant gorilla wearing a red head wrap, and was thrown, screaming, through the trapdoor. Ansem laughed, coughed, then continued laughing.

* * *

Review, pwease? It gives me the encouragement to go on living...well maybe not that extreme, but it helps me write! 


	22. Dreamland is Happyland

Hey there fellow readers! I just checked my stories page, and realized that this story has more reviews than my other (serious) story. Hmm...this merits further investigation...

Now I bet you all know what that means? Of course you don't, but I'll tell you--Princess of Oblivion has now become a rabit. Wait, er, I meant to say rabid. Anyway, a rabid review lover (sorta). So praise me with all your lovely reviews! I want to see how many I can get by this story's end! Muahahahahaha!

And if you don't wish to praise me for my story, then perhaps you would like to say to me, Happy Birthday? hint hint...

* * *

Team Destiny's ninjas headed back to camp, mentally exhausted from their last challenge. "I still don't get how Sora managed to beat us all at the _intelligence _challenge." Xemnas said plopping down against a tree.

"You're just upset because some little kid showed you up." Axel said putting his finger on Xemnas's nose and pushing him back.

He swatted Axel's hand away in irritation. "I am not! And you're one to talk - you didn't even score in the top six!"

"That's because I didn't feel the need to participate in such a menial challenge that pitted our wits against each other. I prefer to keep my intellect in top shape by engaging in intense sessions of scrabble and chess." Axel said, all with an English accent.

"What the living-"

"Crap, Axel! What was that about?!" Demyx exclaimed.

"I see no need to enlighten you on the matter." Axel replied calmly. Then he turned and headed over to the shelter, pulled his Bob the Builder blanket over himself, and promptly fell asleep.

"Well…that was strange." Kairi commented.

"Erm…Vexen?" Marluxia asked. "Why are you kissing your microscope?"

"She's not a microscope!" Vexen shouted, teary-eyed. "Don't pay attention to what he said, Lauren." Vexen cuddled the microscope against his chest.

Kairi watched him uneasily. Walking over to Riku, she tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, Riku? I think I might need to be protected."

"Why's that?"

"Because I'm the only _real _girl at this camp," she said giving Marluxia a contemptuous look, "and I might be molested in my sleep."

"Sure Kairi." Riku said, then went back to peeling his mango.

Meanwhile, Xemnas had decided to be a suck up toward Sora. "Is there anything you need, Sora?" he asked tucking Sora's blanket around him.

"Read me a bedtime story." Sora asked innocently.

"Sure kid. Once upon a time, in a magical land, there lived a little pixie fairy. One day, he went out into the enchanted sparkly glittery forest to pick some berries. One his way to the berry bush of love, he met a kindly turtle who asked him to be his friend. The pixie fairy told the turtle to wait there and he would return with his answer. A few minutes later, the pixie fairy came back with a berry. He gave half of it to the turtle and said, 'friends forever' and they both skipped off into the sunset. The end." Xemnas finished and patted the boy's hair. Sora had tears streaming down his cheeks.

"That was so…beautiful!"

"I'm glad you liked it - now can I use your TV?" Xemnas asked the last part a bit impatiently.

"Yep." Sora said as he dried his tears and his eyelids began to droop.

"Yesss!" Xemnas leapt up and went over to Sora's TV and popped in High School Musical. The last thing Sora heard before he drifted off to sleep was Cloud saying, "Xemnas, if you start singing along, I swear we will not hesitate to sic the gremlins on you…"

-Sora's Dream-

Sora opened his eyes and looked down. "Gasp! I'm a mini magical pixie fairy!" he exclaimed as he examined his wings. "Wheee! I can fly!" he shouted soaring through the trees around him.

"And you can fall!" Xigbar dressed in a mime outfit leapt out of nowhere and smacked Sora with a board.

"Aaaah!" Sora shot down and landed in a pond.

"Ack! I can't swim!" he cried, struggling to stay above the surface.

"Don't worry, I'll help you." a goldfish with Demyx's head said as he tapped the struggling fairy with his magical wand. "Now you have the ability to breath underwater." he said.

Sora tentatively put his head under the water an found that he could breathe. Demyx dived to the bottom to the pond and Sora followed him. There was a gray boulder that Sora was about to sit on when it yelled and threw a crab at him.

"Don't sit on me you urchin!" the rock with Xemnas's face said. "I'm watching this!" a few moments later, the rock/Xemnas seemed to have forgotten all about Sora and began singing.

Then, a floating papaya with Cloud's face yelled, "What did I tell you about the singing?! Gremlins, attack!" he opened a conveniently placed door and a whole bunch of Vexen clones hopped out. I say hopped because they were all crouched like frogs.

The rock/Xemnas screamed and tried to roll away. "Man, being a rock sucks!" he shouted.

Sora felt a tug on his sleeve.

"I think it's best that you don't see this." Demyx the goldfish said as he pulled Sora away and out of the water.

"Goodbye friend, I'm on my way again!" Sora called waving to Demyx as he flew away.

He flew on through the forest, passing a tall tower where Marluxia sat in the room at the top. The only difference was that he had extremely long, braided hair. He threw his braid out the tower window to Kairi who waited below. "Hurry up and climb up here to rescue me! My landlord will be here soon to collect the rent!" he called to the girl.

"Isn't this supposed to be the other way around?" Kairi asked as she pulled on her hair climbing gloves.

Sora continued flying until he came to an amusement park entrance. "One ticket please." he said into the ticket window.

"That'll be $7.50." Riku said.

Sora reached into his pocket and pulled out a calculator. "This ought to cover it." he said handing it to Riku through the calculator shaped hole.

"Here's your ticket - enjoy your stay at Camp Destiny." Riku said unenthusiastically.

Just inside the gate, Axel was putting on a Broadway performance entitled, 'Jammin' with the Janitor.'

I'm bored. Sora decided and flew off without even riding one of their rides. Then, he saw it. The golden bush of delicious berries! "Berries! How I love thee!" Sora exclaimed, flying toward and snatching one of the delicious looking berries. Someone cleared their throat. Looking around for the source of the noise he saw Zexion standing underneath the bush. Curious, Sora flew down and asked, "What's wrong?"

"I have been cursed to stand on this spot until the day a kind person comes along and presents me with a berry of friendship." Zexion rehearsed.

Sora clapped excitedly. "You're in luck! Because I happen to have just that!" he held up the berry, which began to shine. "It's the berry of friendship!" the boy beamed.

"Yay. You have saved me from the confines of this spot." Zexion cheered emotionlessly.

"Now can we fly off into the horizon together?" Sora asked hopefully.

"I don't fly."

"What about skipping?"

"I don't skip."

Sora furrowed his eyebrows, thinking. Then, he brought his fist to his palm and said, "I've got it! Lucky for you, I brought my magical flying chair with me!" Sora pulled an ordinary looking wooden chair out from behind his back and placed it on the ground in front of Zexion.

"Um…" Zexion started.

"Don't worry, it's perfectly safe! It's got front AND rear airbags!" Sora said happily as he pushed Zexion into the seat and pressed a little button. The chair lifted off the ground and started flying forward.

"But what about the side airbags?!" Zexion shouted as he gripped the arm holders tightly. Sora flew up along side Zexion, whose hair was getting blown out of its normal emo hairdo, and together, they flew off into the sunset.

-End of Sora's dream-

"OW!" Riku and Axel yelled as Sora kicked them in his sleep. The two sat up from their spots on either side of the Keyblade Master and rubbed their sides. They heard him mumble something about orange flavored cherry trees then he reached his arms out and seemed to be flying.

"This kid's a menace!" Axel whispered.

"Just imagine what he was like at sleepovers!" Riku whispered back.

"What was he like?" Axel asked curiously.  
"One time, I woke up in the middle of the night and Sora was braiding my hair in his sleep." Riku said. Axel chuckled. "Another time, he actually sleepwalked out of the house, tied himself to the neighbor's dog and sat himself down in a sled. Needless to say, when the dog woke up, he wasn't very happy. Let's just say that Sora won't ever go anywhere near the ice cream man again." Riku finished.

"Okay, goodnight." Axel said before falling straight back to sleep.

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That was a rather anticlimactic end, now wasn't it?

You want to review - uses powers of hypnotism on readers


	23. The Eleventh Challenge

**The Eleventh Challenge**

The entire team was woken up by Sora's yell of, "Ice cream Sunday!" turning to look at him, they saw that he was, in fact still asleep.

Xigbar sighed, "It's morning - we might as well stay up now."

"But I need my beauty sleep!" Kairi and Marluxia exclaimed at the same time.

"Hey!" they said together.

"Quit copying me!"

"You're copying me!"

"No, you're copying me!"

"No, you're copying me!!"

"No, you-"

"Shut up!" everyone yelled.

The noise woke Sora up, who launched forward and asked, "Who died?!"

"No one died, Sora." Kairi said, comforting the sleepy eyed boy. Sora's gaze landed on Zexion and his eyes brightened.

"Don't forget, Zexy! You promised to sing me the magical berry song!"

"What?" the stoic Nobody asked, pausing in his act of notching another day into a tree with Nancy the switchblade.

"Yeah, you know, the magical berry song!" Sora repeated.

"I promised no such thing." Zexion answered.

"B-but we're bestest friends!" Sora cried.

"What about us?!" Riku and Kairi asked. Deep inside, their poor hearts were breaking.

"But I'm the one you're destined to marry and have children with! Children who will take over as the new Keyblade Masters for us like in all those other fan fictions!"

"Wha?" Sora asked, a painfully innocent expression on his face.

"Why do you deny my love?!" Kairi cried shaking Sora back and forth.

"What in the world has gotten into you?" Riku shouted, pulling Sora away from her.

"Oh, I see how it is! You want him all to yourself so you can eat your little goldfish crackers together!" Kairi screeched.

"Wha?" It was Riku's turn to look bewildered.

"Calm down, Kairi." Axel said trying to pacify the girl.

"Oh, so the truth comes out!" Kairi said. "You want Sora AND Riku for yourself!"

Riku passed the staff of bewilderment on to Axel.

"Huh?"

"It's a conspiracy I tell you!" Kairi screamed.

"Hey…look up there!" Demyx said, pointing in the sky.

There were two airplanes spelling out ' report for your next challenge' with white smoke.

"That's a cool way to get us to go to the challenge." Cloud admitted.

Team Destiny's Ninjas gathered at the arena ready to take on whatever challenge they would be presented with.

Ansem drove up in a shiny mustang, "Everyone, I have an announcement to make."

"You just saved a bunch of money on your car insurance?" Demyx asked.

"No, my cousin's father's girlfriend's mother's second cousin twice removed nieces brother's roommate has had a baby and they want me to be there on this auspicious occasion. So, the challenge will be conducted by my assistant, Imogene."

The girl with long black hair and pink highlights got out of the passenger's side of the car. Everyone stared at her choice of costume--a realistic looking astronaut's suit.

"Hi guys! How's it going?" she said cheerfully.

Ansem turned to her, "Remember, call me if you have any trouble."

"Will do." she replied. Ansem nodded and got into the car, driving away at ridiculously fast speeds. Imogene turned to the group and grinned evilly. "Now you're all mine." she laughed maniacally.

"I fear for my safety…" Kairi said, warily eyeing the girl.

"Oh, don't be silly, you'll be perfectly fine with me." the teen said, patting the red head on the back with some rather loud thumps. "Well, almost perfectly fine…" she trailed off, as her face had a far away expression on it.

"What is our challenge?" Cloud asked, shading his eyes from the glare of the space helmet.

"Hehe, I'm glad you asked. It will be one of the most physically and mentally demanding challenges you've had to do so far…involving eggs!"

Sora gave an involuntary gasp. "I hate eggs!" he shuddered.

"I am calling this challenge _Eggs on a Plane,_ because it sounds like _Snakes on a Plane_, which was the challenge I originally wanted to do, but the producers wouldn't get me fifty tons of venomous snakes OR an airliner, so I had to go with plan B which involves only eggs and spoons." Imogene said this all in one breath.

Demyx gave an involuntary gasp. "I hate spoons!" he shuddered.

"You will each have a spoon put in your mouth and then balance an egg on said spoon. Whoever keeps it balanced the longest wins the challenge and immunity." Imogene grinned.

She suddenly pulled ten spoons out of her pocket and threw them to each of the contestants. Amazingly, all of them caught them in their mouth (with the exception of Vexen, who got hit in the eye and screamed in pain).

"Now, all of you get to your positions and get ready to receive the eggs." the girl said over the sounds of Vexen screaming, "My eye! My eye!"

"Get in line or you won't get your egg!" she shouted impatiently to the scientist. The man sent her a withering glare (which was slightly not withering because of the pink swollen eye) and got in his position as well.

The girl was practically bubbling with joy. "Oh, I can't wait!" she squealed excitedly.

"How can you not be dying in that suit?" Marluxia asked the girl.

"Because I eat a lot of soy beans." Imogene answered, pulling a basket of eggs out of her pocket. "Now hold still and wait for me to put the eggs on your spoons." she commanded.

Walking up to Sora, she giggled, "Silly, you're supposed to use the other end of the spoon."

"Oh." he muttered turning as red as a stop sign that is red. He turned the spoon around and Imogene placed the egg on it.

Next was Riku. She was about to put an egg on his spoon when she stopped and cocked her head. "What was that Alberta? Oh, okay."

"What the crud was that about?" Riku asked.

"Alberta says she doesn't want to be your egg because you're full of too much teen angst."

"I an not angsty!" Riku protested wiping tears out of his eyes as he accepted his new egg.

The rest of the eggs were handed out without much incident. "Now, let the challenge begin!" Imogene shouted out.

The group was focused intensely on keeping perfectly still. They were so focused, that they didn't notice the dangerous glint in Imogene's eyes. She snuck around to the back of the group and clicked a button on her suit's arm. Suddenly, a loud boom issued from the island's sound system.

"Aaaah!" Kairi screamed, dropping her egg.

"Looks like the first fly has dropped." Imogene said smugly.

"That wasn't fair! I demand a redo!" Kairi yelled.

"Too bad. Did I forget to mention the fine print? I get to do whatever I want to make you guys loose your concentration." Imogene said happily.

"Effing bi-" Kairi began under her breath, but stopped when Imogene pulled a gun out of her pocket and shot the girl three times in the leg. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! My leg!" she screamed, falling over in agony.

"-Iri!" Sora and Riku cried in muffled voices as they tried to keep their hold on the spoons.

Imogene giggled in a high girly voice and returned the pistol to her pocket. She grabbed a nearby radio and spoke into it. "We're gonna need the paramedics here. One of the contestants has been shot by an insane polar bear."

Within minutes, a helicopter arrived and landed on a nearby landing pad. A group of clowns came out carrying a stretcher.

"AAAAHHH! Clowns!" Sora screamed, dropping his egg and running into the forest.

"-ora!" Riku cried as his friend ran away.

"Oh, it's too bad your friend has an aversion to clowns. I've made all of the paramedics dress like clowns so that when you get injured, they will make you laugh." Imogene said cheerfully.

The clowns carried Kairi to the helicopter and flew off in some random direction.

"Now what else can I do to you guys?" the substitute host wondered to herself. The group felt a shiver go down their spines. "Oh!" she exclaimed, running to a shed. They heard her rummaging around in it, and a few minutes later, she emerged carrying a cage. "Guys, I want you to meet my friend, Roxanne."

The girl opened the cage and let out a little white poodle. It barred its teeth viciously, saliva dripping from its mouth onto the sand. It let out a feral growl and charged the group. Demyx made a squeal and took off running in the opposite direction. Roxanne howled and took off after him.

"I don't know why people are afraid of my little Roxie…she's such a sweet doggie." Imogene questioned, stroking her chin. "Oh well, I still have to deal with you guys." she said, pulling a pair of scissors out of her pocket. "I wonder what I could do with these?" she said with a frown.

Imogene approached the nervous contestants and opened the scissors, preparing to cut something. "How about…your hair?!" she exclaimed, lunging toward Marluxia.

The man screamed bloody murder and clutched his hair fearfully.

"Oh my, you seem to have dropped your egg." the girl said without pity. The man kicked the sand in frustration and went to sit down on the sidelines.

The next thing to come out of her pocket of doom was a marker. She grinned and walked up to Cloud. Uncapping the marker, she began scribbling on the man, who was determinedly not moving.

"There, all done!" she said, standing back and admiring her handiwork. Axel looked at the man's face in curiosity and burst out laughing.

A second later, he was cursing in Swahili because he had dropped his egg. Cloud was now irritated and went up to Imogene and stared at his reflection in her helmet. His face read, 'I is a pimp'. The blonde man growled and pounded his fists together. Suddenly, he emitted a golden light and his hair became even spikier than usual. Now it had red and black streaks in it. He dropped his spoon and shouted, "It's time to duel!" He pulled a pack of playing cards out of his pocket and drew one. "I summon-" he was cut off as Bigfoot charged out of the trees and tackled the man. They fought furiously over a can of Coke Cola before Cloud jumped on the creature's back and it ran off into the forest.

"Who knew Bigfoot actually existed?" Imogene said in mild surprise. Then a light bulb popped up over her head.

She approached the remaining four contestants, wriggling her fingers. They all backed away, apprehensively. "Oh, don't be silly guys, this won't hurt." she reassured them. However, it wasn't very reassuring with her sinister expression.

Imogene went to Riku first and began to furiously tickle him.

"Aaaaaaahahahahahaha!" he cried, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. The teen dropped to the ground and began rolling around in laughter.

"Well that was fairly successful." the girl said looking at his splattered egg. "Let's try it again." she exclaimed cheerily approaching Zexion.

The man saw Imogene approaching and immediately dropped his egg then walked over to the sidelines to sit with Marluxia and the still laughing Riku.

"Hmm…could it be that the great Zexion is ticklish?" Imogene pondered to her little undead monkey. The monkey squeaked and jumped up and down. "I will just have to test this theory…" she murmured. She approached an alarmed looking Zexion.

"I quit the challenge, so you don't have to do anything to me." he said on octave higher than normal.

Imogene chuckled and made a dive for the stoic Nobody. "Tickle attack!"

Zexion laughed wildly and attempted to bat the girl away. "S-stop!" he cried as Marluxia and Riku stared. Vexen almost let his mouth drop open, but at the last second, remembered that he was in a competition and that his mommy would kill him if he lost. Xigbar, however, wasn't so lucky and his egg fell to the ground as his mouth dropped open in shock.

Finally pulling away from Zexion, Imogene smirked and walked back to Vexen and Xemnas who were the only two left. The blue/violet/silver haired man sat up, gasping for air and glared at the other two loosers as if it was their fault that one of his weakness had been revealed.

Imogene looked at the two eggs and began singing, "Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty together again!"

Vexen's egg squealed and jumped off of his spoon. Vexen stared at it in shock.

"Yay! I'm the winner!" Xemnas squealed happily throwing his egg into the air.

"Yep, it looks like-" Imogene stopped talking and listened intently. The rest of the group strained their ears and heard the distant sounds of barking.

From the opposite side of the beach, Demyx appeared, with Roxanne still hot on his tail. Amazingly, the Melodious Nocturne still had his egg nestled on his spoon. The group gaped at the sight. Demyx had almost made it to Imogene when he tripped and his egg went flying straight into Xemnas's face, spattering its eggy nastiness everywhere.

Imogene burst out laughing. "Hahahah! You've got egg on your face!" she exclaimed pointing at the furious Xemnas.

Roxanne had caught up to Demyx and was viciously biting his shoe. The Nobody cried and tried to kick her away.

Imogene bent down and picked up the dog, who immediately became sweet and docile in her arms.

"In conclusion, Demyx wins this challenge and the immunity idol!" she declared.

"I won?" the man asked dazedly. He got to his feet and Imogene put the bottle cap necklace around his neck. "This is so radical..." he murmured.

-At Council Fire-

Ansem had returned and was talking about the new born baby girl. "I tried to get them to name her Destiny, but they didn't seem to like that idea." he said regretfully. "Anyway, I hear Imogene was a huge success today--maybe I should get her to baby-sit you guys more often." he offered.

Sora, who had been found hiding at the top of a tall tree, whimpered, "No. No more clowns…"

Kairi, who had been returned with her leg in a cast and her mouth taped shut (she had been spouting some craziness about how Imogene had really been the one who shot her) shook her head violently and waved her fist threateningly.

Even now, Marluxia was clutching at his hair frightfully. Zexion was still silently steaming. Riku was ripping a leaf together, pretending it was Imogene's face. Xemnas was brooding.

Cloud had wandered out of the jungle minutes after the challenge ended with 'I is a pimp' still scrawled on his face (in permanent marker) and covered in bloody gashes. He glared at the host.

Yet somehow, Ansem seemed to miss all of these signs. He continued, "Let the voting begin!" A few minutes later, all the votes had been handed in and Ansem read out the conclusion. "It looks like the final score is: Vexen--2, Axel--2, Xemnas--5. Xemnas, time for you to walk the plank."

Xemnas growled, then shouted out, "Kingdom Hearts _will _be mine! Darkness _will _prevail! And I _will _get my revenge!"

"Yeah, enough with the dramatic speech, just fall already." Ansem said in a bored tone. The host clicked his fingers and the leader of Organization 13 fell into the trap door. "Now who wants churros?!" he asked excitedly, pulling a basket of the sugary goodness out from behind his back. And they threw a super par-tay that lasted into the wee hours of the morning.

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I can't believe I did that to Zexion... Sorry o' great king of emo...

Review please!!!


	24. Chocolate Flavored Lava Lamps

A/N: I am still having a bit of a shortage of challenge ideas, so if any of you kind readers have any suggestions, please im me and let me know - And now, enjoy the next chapter

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**Chocolate Flavored Lava Lamps**

The team woke up in a lousy mood, due largely in part to the bad mood pixie who attacked them in their sleep.

"What's for breakfast?" Sora asked wearily, walking to the kitchen area of the camp.

"Chocolate chip pancakes." Riku answered.

"Really?!"

"Of course not! It's the same old slop we've been having every morning!" Riku shouted irritably.

"Well you could've just said so." Sora pouted taking a bite out of an oddly shaped piece of fruit.

Zexion walked up to get his share of food. "You know, thanks to that ridiculous Imogene, we didn't even get a prize for our last challenge." he said with an edge of anger in his voice.

"Wow, I've never heard you angry with anyone." Marluxia commented as he took his hairnet off. He swung his hair around and whacked Axel in the face with it.

"Watch where you're throwing your stupid pink curls." the pyro said, spitting some of the hair out of his mouth.

"You would be angry too if she'd done that to you." Zexion muttered remembering the 'unnameable incident', which he now used to refer to Imogene's tickle attack.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. How about we call a truce?" Imogene asked.

Everyone jumped at the girl's sudden appearance. She was dressed in a violently orange tuxedo today.

"What are you doing at our camp?" Riku demanded.

"Well, I was observing you guys on the secret cameras, and Mr. Grouchy over there reminded me that I hadn't given you guys the prize." Imogene said, gesturing toward Zexion. The Nobody glared at her.

"Secret cameras?" Kairi asked uneasily.

"Yeah, don't worry about those." Imogene said passively.

"So what are you going to give us?" Axel asked.

Imogene put her hand on her chin, as if thinking, then snapped her fingers. "I've got it! Be right back--don't budge an inch!" she shouted as she took off at a run. Sora immediately froze in place.

"I don't think she meant that literally." Cloud sighed.

"I-I knew that." Sora said scratching the back of his head.

5 minutes later…

A big rig was driving up the beach, scaring pedestrians out of its way. (Just kidding! There aren't any pedestrians on the island, you silly gullible fools). It skid to a stop and sprayed them all with sand. The driver's door opened and Imogene hopped out of the truck.

"I come bearing gifts!" she announced.

"We get a truck?" Demyx asked.

"No, not a truck, what's _inside _the truck!" Imogene went to the back and opened the door. A wave of chocolate chip pancakes flowed out and onto the sand.

Sora nearly had a spastic attack. "Chocolate!!!" he squealed, diving into the pile of pancakes.

"How on earth did you get all of these?" Xigbar asked incredulously.

"Well, that's an interesting story…" Imogene said.

**--Flashback--**

Imogene stormed into the island's kitchen and announced, "Hello fellow employees! I need a truckload of chocolate chip pancakes ready in five minutes!"

The cooks gaped at the girl and a few of them dropped their spatulas.

"Well? What are you waiting for? Get cooking!" the girl prompted them. They hurriedly got out the jumbo frying pan and began cooking.

**--End Flashback--**

"That still doesn't explain how you got all of these pancakes so fast." Riku stated.

"Broaden your mind." Imogene said in a mystical voice.

"Hey, these are pretty good!" Kairi said as she stuffed her face full of chocolately goodness.

Imogene looked down at her watch and suddenly exclaimed, "Gosh! Is that really the time?! Sorry buddies, I've gotta fly--see you at the next challenge!" she exploded into a cloud of orange dust, leaving behind a paper that read, 'keep the truck--it's out of gas'.

"Well that was amusing." Vexen said as he mixed nitroglycerine with formula 409. "Don't forget, kiddies--formula 409 causes cancer!" he said happily.

"Hey…where'd Sora go?" Demyx asked looking around.

"Guys! I found a better way to dive into the water!" Sora shouted from atop the waterfall.

"Why do I have the feeling that this isn't going to end well?" Cloud asked.

"Because it's Sora on sugar." Riku said, rubbing his temple.

Sora jumped, and his clothes began to shine as his body transformed into his mermaid-er, merman form. He landed in the water with a splash and swam around happily.

"Sweet! The little dude's got voodoo clothes!" Xigbar exclaimed.

"I could do that if I wanted to…" Vexen muttered.

"Oh yeah? Then prove it!" Xigbar challenged.

"Fine then, I will!" Vexen shot back. He scrunched his face up and started to concentrate.

"Uhhh…dude?" Xigbar asked uncertainly as Vexen's face started to turn red and his eyes bulged. Then suddenly, with a loud pop, the Nobody turned into a lava lamp.

"I hate to break it to you, but mermen are way cooler than lava lamps." the Freelance Shooter said.

"You're just jealous!" the lava lamp huffed.

"Yeah, whatever." Xigbar shrugged as he went to eat some pancakes.

"H-hey guys? Um, guys, I'm stuck like this!" Vexen the lava lamp said with a trace of panic in his voice. No one seemed to hear him. "Guys! A little help here!" he shouted rocking from side to side. The lamp fell over sideways into the sand. "Why does my life suck?" he muttered.

"Dude, I know the feeling." Justin Timberlake said from beside the lamp.

"You're still here?!" the lamp exclaimed [see chapter 12 Justin's Shampoo Bubbles -.

"No. You're imagining me." the singer replied, then poofed away.

"Great--now I'm hallucinating." Vexen grumbled to himself.

"Chocolate is bad for my figure." Kairi said to a little colorful bird sitting next to her. "But I really couldn't care less."

"How do you plan on competing in the next challenge if you're in a cast?" Demyx asked the girl.

"You know, I really have no idea why I'm even in this thing. I should be wrapped in bandages, not in a cast." Kairi said. Her voice took on a more angry tone. "I will get that- that- monster back for shooting me if it's the last thing I do!"

"As long as she doesn't bring that dog back…that miserable beast chased me all around the island, through several pits of quicksand and a perfume shop! I'll never forgive it!" Demyx declared.

"I'm chopping broccoli!" Marluxia sang out suddenly as he watered his plants. And they all broke out in the broccoli song.

--six repetitions later, everyone was out of breath and had a sudden hatred for broccoli.

Meanwhile, with Sora in the water…

Sora was diving to the bottom of the waterfall and having lots of fun doing things. Lots of things. What are they? I….don't know. He dove to the very bottom and saw something red and wavy.

"Ariel!" he exclaimed, seeing the mermaid princess.

"Sora!" she said in surprise.

"What are you doing here?"

"I swam upstream looking for my lucky bottle cap, and I got lost…" she said sadly.

"That's too bad." Sora sniffed sympathetically.

"I know, since I'm here, let's sing some wonderful songs about the ocean!" Ariel said happily.

"Yay! Singing! I bet Haley Joel Osment cursed Square Enix the day he had to come in and do the voiceovers for Atlantica! His friends probably never let him live it down!" Sora theorized.

Somewhere in Hollywood…Haley Joel Osment sneezed. (Bet you were expecting something more exciting than that to happen, didn't ya? Huh? Huuuh?)

Back at camp Destiny's Ninjas, a horrible sound met the team's ears.

"What _is _that?" Xigbar asked, covering his ears.

"It's coming from the water!" Marluxia realized, going to the pond's edge. Everyone followed the Graceful Assassin and saw that the noise was coming from none other than Sora and a mermaid.

"Someone's gotta stop them!" Vexen cried. (He was _still _a lava lamp and he was _still _laying sideways in the dirt).

"You're right!" Demyx said. Then, he picked Vexen up by the cord and took him to the water's edge. He started swinging him around and around, gaining momentum.

"What do you think you're doing?! I'm gonna loose my lava!" Vexen yelled.

Demyx let go of Vexen, sending the lava lamp/Nobody into the water. He struck Sora on the head, and effectively knocked him out.

"Sora!" Ariel cried as the Keyblade Master floated to the surface. Riku and Cloud hauled the boy out of the water and he transformed back into a human once he left the pool.

"Don't you ever darken our doorstep again!" Xigbar shouted to the mermaid.

Ariel swam away crying, while being consoled by the Loch Ness monster. Then, something shiny caught her eye. "Oooh! It's my lucky bottle cap!" she said, picking it up. (I wonder if Ariel eats fish, cause that would sorta make her a cannibal).

Vexen swam up to the top of the pool of water, gasping for breath. The impact with Sora's head had transformed him back into his normal, ugly old self. He climbed out of the water and coughed. Then, his hands found their way around Demyx's neck.

"Why did you- how dare you-" he couldn't put his fury into words as he shook the Melodious Nocturne back and forth. "What do you have to say for yourself?" Vexen demanded.

Demyx pointed behind the Chilly Academic and sputtered, "Incoming."

Vexen let go of Demyx, who scrambled away from him, and turned around. He saw a huge, heavy looking beach ball hurtling through the air toward him. He had just enough time to say, "Well that's just-" before he was slammed into the ground.

Axel walked up to the ball and, ignoring Vexen's twitching limbs, and pulled a piece of paper from the ball.

"Looks like it's challenge time." he said. And they all walked away toward the beach arena, leaving the twitching man behind.

"Why does the author torment me so?" Vexen muttered into the sand.

(Answer: Because it's so fun!)

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OMG! There are almost 50 reviews! Review now and I will love you guys forever!


	25. The Twelfth Challenge

Okay guys, it's official. I am out of backup material. Before this, I usually had a few chapters waiting in the wings--well not anymore. From this point forward, the updates will probably come a little slower. If I am bogged down with school work, then even slower still (which seems to be how things are headed). Sorry about this, but if all goes as planned, then you won't have much longer to wait anyway--I am planning to finish this story by chapter 30. Not that I don't want to continue writing, I just have so much else to do that I don't have the same kind of time that I used to. And on that note, when this story comes to a close, I want it to go out with a bang, so don't be shy and review as many times as you feel are necessary--and then more!

(The author realizes that she is a complete review whore)

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The Twelfth Challenge 

"Hi guys, did you miss me?" Imogene asked as the group approached. Today she was dressed in a pizza delivery outfit complete with a steaming pepperoni pizza.

"Not in the slightest." Zexion said, determined to retain his composure.

"That's not very nice." the girl said, pouting. "Especially when I went through so much trouble to prepare for this challenge."

Everyone looked around uneasily for any signs of danger.

"Young Imogene really outdid herself this time." Ansem agreed, nodding his head. This made the group, if anything, more uneasy.

"What are we going to do? The suspense is killing me!" Kairi yelled, pulling at her hair.

"Would you like to explain or shall I?" Ansem asked the girl.

"I'd like the honors." Imogene grinned. She stepped forward. "Now, two of your members have been poisoned, and you will have to have to perform heart surgery in order to prevent a terrible death."

"What?! How did that happen?!" Xigbar exclaimed.

"Remember those lovely chocolate chip pancakes I delivered to your camp the other day? Two of them were poisoned." Imogene explained.

"How do you know we even ate them?" Xigbar countered.

"Oh, you ate them, alright." the girl said smugly as she pulled a device shaped like a toothbrush out of her pocket. She turned it on, and it started beeping. She went around the group and held it up to their stomachs. The beeping got stronger as it came near Marluxia's stomach. "Looks like you ate one of my special ones." she smirked.

Marluxia whimpered and clutched at his stomach. "I'm to beautiful to die!" he exclaimed.

Imogene continued her search and the beeping increased in frequency again as she approached Axel.

"Damn, that sucks! Out of that mountain of pancakes, I had to pick the poisoned one!" the pyro cursed.

"Wait a moment. How is this a challenge if we all have to work together to save these two?" Zexion asked reasonably.

"We'll be observing your performances and whoever does the best wins." Imogene replied without skipping a beat.

"But none of us even know how to perform surgery!" Riku pointed out.

"Don't worry--Destiny be providing you with these lovely step-by-step guides: How to Perform Heart Surgery for Dummies." Ansem assured, holding up two yellow manuals.

"Well that's just great, but I don't really care to have anyone here cutting me open. Besides, isn't that a little graphic?" Axel asked lightly.

"Well be omitting all of the gory details from the airing, so you don't have to worry about scaring all of the little children away." Imogene said with a giggle.

"That doesn't change the fact that you are about to cut us open with god knows what in the next few minutes!" Marluxia cried, hyperventilating.

"Time for plan Destiny's D.S.C.!" Imogene announced. With her command, her squad of personal ninjas came out of nowhere and shot Axel and Marluxia with tranquilizer darts. The two Nobodies fell asleep faster than a four year old being forced to watch American Idol.

"As an additional challenge to this…erm, challenge, we have decided that we will not simply hand you the tools you will need. You each shall have to take a turn finding the surgical tools necessary for this complex operation." Ansem said while contemplating whether or not he could legally marry himself to Destiny.

"The items you need are scattered among this very beach, so split yourselves into two groups of four. (Remember, two times two is four!)" Imogene said.

Team Destiny's Ninjas split as such: Axel's team was Sora, Riku, Zexion and Demyx. Marluxia's team was Kairi, Cloud, Vexen and Xigbar.

"I knew taking a crash course in med school would come in handy someday." Zexion said with satisfaction.

Sora beamed up at the Nobody. "Is there anything you can't do?" he asked in wonder.

Zexion paused, thinking the question over. He suddenly twitched and muttered something about Betty Crocker.

"You mean the cake lady?" Sora asked innocently. "Does that mean you can't bake?"

Zexion ignored the boy. Imogene giggled and made a note to herself in her handy little notebook of awesomeness.

"The so called great Zexion can't cook…" she muttered as she wrote.

"Why do you insist in irritating me to no end?" Zexion asked.

"It's what I do." the girl said happily. Before the Nobody could reply, she shouted out, "Tenesorianibeefjerkycabysque!"

"It means begin in my own made up language--duh!" she explained to their uncomprehending expressions.

Riku and Cloud were the first ones up to find a surgical tool from somewhere on the beach. The two angst filled guys set off at a run. Riku began kicking at the sand, spraying it in Cloud's path. The blonde glared at Riku and used his powers of ultra deadly hair attack, made Riku's hair stand straight up.

"Ahhh! My hair!" the teen exclaimed, trying futilely to settle his hair.

"It is interesting to note how much all of these men seem to care for their hair. How odd." Imogene commented to Ansem.

"What did you say?" the host asked, raising his head out of a portable sink in which he was conditioning his hair.

Meanwhile, Riku had gotten over his hair issues and was back to searching the beach. However, he didn't get over his issues soon enough, because soon after he rejoined the challenge, Cloud shouted in triumph.

"Alright! I found a…Britney Spears CD?" His triumph turned to complete confusion.

"Quick! Get it over here quickly and we might be able to use it!" Vexen shouted to the man. He brought the CD over and they popped it into a CD player. They put the headphones on Marluxia's ears and played the music.

"True love…" the Graceful Assassin sighed in a falsetto voice.

Riku returned with his own spoils…which was a single peanut. "Sorry guys. I've got nothing else." he apologized.

Zexion shook his head. "No, we might still be able to use it." The stoic man took the peanut from the teen and---

---scene deleted for extreme o-Oness---

Axel shuddered in his unconscious state and mumbled, "No, my hair is not a porcupine, Dr. Seuss…"

Then, Sora and Kairi were up to find the next surgical tool. They went off to do their thing when…

"I think we're having a reaction!" Vexen cried as Marluxia began to twitch uncontrollably.

"I fear it's even worse than that!" Xigbar shouted dramatically.

Then, to everyone's horror, the pink haired man rose from the table and began to dance the grapevine.

"Noooo! That dance should stay buried in the oldie days where it belongs!" they all screamed.

"What's wrong with the grapevine?" Ansem mused.

"I have no idea." Imogene replied as she danced right along with Marluxia.

"Where is Kairi with our next tool?" Vexen asked impatiently.

The two teams turned to the beach and saw that Sora and Kairi were deep in a game of beach volleyball. Xigbar shot a dart through the ball and shouted angrily, "Bring us something so that we can stop this dancing!"

The two held their heads low and went back to searching. Sora returned with…a bottle of body lotion.

"Great, now Axel will have floral scented skin. That still doesn't bring us any closer to solving his heart problems!" Riku said sardonically.

Kairi returned with a rock.

"What on earth are we going to do with a rock?!" Vexen, Xigbar and Cloud exclaimed simultaneously.

"I dunno. It's a pretty sharp rock…and I thought we might be able to, like uh, use it…to…cut?" Kairi trailed off without much hope.

Next up were Demyx and Xigbar. They charged onto the beach with full force, kicking stray puppy dogs out of the way. (Just kidding--don't sue me for animal abuse, please!)

Then, with a flash of intuition befitting George Bush (jr.), Xigbar had the brilliant idea of searching the trees instead of kicking around in the sand. He ran up to a vertically challenged palm tree and began kicking away at it. Down fell a couple of pairs of socks and a computer chip.

"Yayzers! Socks!" he yelled, grabbing the socks and the chip, then returning to the operating table.

Demyx came back to his team's table with a bottle of white-out.

"Great! We might as well forfeit this entire challenge right now!" Riku shouted on the verge of a mental breakdown.

"We can still win." Demyx tried to reassure both the teen and himself. "See?" he said, pouring the white out on Axel's chest. Nothing happened.

Come on, did you honestly expect anything to happen? (You and I both know the answer to that question is 'yes')

"Okay, we've made our decision." Imogene said, emerging from a conversation with Ansem.

"First of all, I ask that you all refer to me from now on as, super Destiny man extraordinaire." Ansem said. "Second of all, we're just going to jump right in and tell you who is going home tonight."

"Wait, wait--hold up. What about these two?" Xigbar asked, pointing to the still-dying Nobodies.

"Oh, yeaaah. We forgot about them." Imogene recalled.

"I guess in our excitement we forgot to plan about what happens to those two." Ansem said with a shrug, looking at the unconcerned girl.

--One emergency paramedic visit later and at Council Fire…

Axel and Marluxia were cured, with the side affects of occasional fainting and steam blasting out of their ears.

"Now, where were we?" Imogene asked.

"You were just about to tell them who loses the challenge." Ansem provided.

"Oh yeah."

"Wait, so why don't we get to vote on this? Isn't that like, the whole point of Survivor?" Kairi asked.

"We thought it would be best to break the mold." Imogene said. "Now, the winner of the challenge is Zexion, for his creative use of a peanut."

There was a round of applause as the stoic Nobody accepted the bottle cap immunity idol.  
"And the two that are going home are--"

"Hold on, two?!" Xigbar asked in alarm. "Why are two of us going instead of one?"

"Well, like we said, we thought it would be better to break the mold." Imogene answered.

"That and the fact that our ratings are slipping." Ansem added.

"Anyway, the two that are going home are…Marluxia and Axel!" Imogene announced, waving a baton around erratically.

"What?!" the two exclaimed.

"We didn't even participate in the challenge!" Marluxia protested and Axel nodded in agreement.

"Yes, but what we failed to mention was the fact that this wasn't the real challenge. The actual challenge took place in the last chapter."

"What are you talking about?" Cloud asked suspiciously.

"The challenge was whoever ate the poisoned pancakes lost." Ansem explained.

"And you two ate them so you lost." Imogene said with a smile.

"That is so far left of fair that I'm going to call my lawyer!" Axel said angrily.

"You do that." Imogene said, filing her fingernails. The trap door opened and swallowed up Marluxia first, who screamed like a little girl being threatened with steroids.

Axel, trying to avoid the same fate, jumped onto a nearby tree. He breathed a breath of relief. Sadly, that didn't last long seeing as how the trap door opened up again and a huge hose came out of it. It turned on and sucked Axel into it.

"So long brave soldiers." Sora said solemnly as the door closed.

Imogene sighed. "Now that our work is done, how about going out for a destiny flavored drink?"

Ansem jumped for joy. "Yay! Destiny flavored!" And the two hosts walked away leaving a depressed group of eight.

"Did I forget to mention that all challenges from now on will eliminate two of your members?" Imogene asked, popping back into the scene, ignoring their startled expressions.

"No." Sora whined piteously.

"Oh, well, now you know." the girl said, leaving the scene again.

This little bit of news made the team, if anything, even more depressed. And they all went back to camp to be emo.

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I'm always afraid of offending people with what I write about various things, so if you are a person who is easily offended, or I've already offended you then please remember that anything I write just pops into my mind at random. I don't (usually) mean it seriously. I haven't gotten any complaints from you guys yet, but still…Just keep this in mind when you're writing a me a scorching message about how much you love, say, High School Musical or the president or something. 

Now send me love and motivation in a review--please?


	26. Remembering Those Good Ol' Fishing Trips

**Hi. Yeah, I'm not dead. Just been super busy with midterms and school and my latest addiction, the show Heroes. I feel like it's been a month since I last updated, andI feel bad. But hopefully, you guys don't kill me, cuz I proudly (and finally) present, chapter 26!**

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**Remembering Those Good Ol' Fishing Trips **

The first thing Sora did upon returning to camp was erect a shrine in honor of Axel and Marluxia.

"I still remember all of the good things we did together…" he sniffed.

"Oh, great. I sense a flashback coming." Vexen said.

--Flashback--

Axel and Sora were trekking through the dense foliage on a hunt.

"What were we hunting again, Axel?" Sora asked the redhead.

"How many times do I have to tell you? We're hunting iguanas!" Axel replied.

"Oh, really? I love iguanas!" Sora exclaimed.

Axel hushed the boy and pointed directly in front of them. On a low hanging tree branch, an iguana was sitting and basking in a beam of sunlight.

"We'll sneak up on it when I count to three, okay?" Axel whispered. Then he looked to where Sora was, only to find that the boy was gone. He looked around frantically, only to realize that Sora had already approached the iguana. "What are you doing, you bonehead?!" he half whispered, half shouted. (how can you do that?)

"Look, Axel! It's not afraid of me!" Sora said happily as he extended his arm and the iguana climbed onto it.

"Huh?" Axel watched the reptile's odd behavior.

"Isn't she cute? I think I'll name her Juana. Juana the iguana." Sora declared.

"That is pretty weird." Axel said as he approached the two.

Juana hissed at the sight of the Nobody and jumped off of Sora's arm, then scampered away into the forest.

"Juana! Noooooooo!" Sora cried piteously.

"Get over her, little buddy. There are plenty more fish in the sea. Or should I say iguanas in the forest?" Axel said, not able to contain a chuckle.

"That's not funny, Axel! Sora shouted, wiping tears off of his face. "Juana was special!"

"You're right. Let us take a moment to pray for Juana to have a happy life." Axel said, closing his eyes. When he opened them, Sora was nowhere to be seen.

"Sora?" he called, looking around. He spotted the boy a few yards away, staring at a tree frog in fascination.

"Look, Axel! I think I'm gonna name him Freddie G.!" the Keyblade Master shouted.

Axel slapped his hand to his forehead.

--End Flashback--

"Those were great times…" Sora said sadly.

"What about Marluxia? Does anyone have any fond memories of him?" Riku asked.

The group was silent in deep thought.

"I've got one…oh, wait, never mind." Kairi said. More deep thought.

"I think I might have one." Cloud said quietly.

--Flashback--

Cloud was doing his usual morning regiment of lifting a tree trunk for exercise when Marluxia crossed his path.

"Don't you have better things to be doing aside from proving your masculinity?" the Graceful Assassin asked.

"Nope." Cloud replied.

"Oh. Have fun with that." Marluxia said. And he walked away.

--End Flashback--

"You call that a fond memory?" Demyx asked. Cloud shrugged and went to find something to eat.

"I've got the mother of all fond memories!" Sora exclaimed, jumping up from his seat.

--Flashback--

"Hey, Marluxia! Can you give me a piggy back ride?" Sora asked.

"Why would I want to do that?" the Nobody asked without looking away from watering his plants.

"Because I hear it is really good for your skin complexion." the boy explained.

"Oh. Well in that case, hop on!" Marluxia said.

"Yipee!" Sora squealed as he climbed on the man's back. Marluxia began to run around the camp with Sora yelling happily from his perch on the Graceful Assassin's back.

"Is my complexion getting any better?" he asked.

"Oh, that? I think that might only work if you give me a piggy back ride while wearing face cream." Sora said.

Marluxia immediately stopped and straightened out. Sora fell from his back and landed with a thump on the sand.

"Ow! What was that for?" he asked.

"You tricked me!" Marluxia wailed. Then he promptly ran off to huddle next to his flowers. "You guys would never betray me, would you?" he asked of them.

"Of course we wouldn't!" the flowers replied in high shrill voices. Little did Marluxia know, the flowers were secretly plotting a way to escape to Antarctica without him…

--End Flashback--

"I for one have had enough reminiscing about lost team members." Xigbar said.

"Yes. The losers will stay gone, so there is no sense in despairing over their loss." Zexion said rationally.

"That's true." Riku said, nodding in agreement.

"That's great and all, but I think Sora's already gotten bored with reminiscing." Kairi said, pointing to the Keyblade Master, who was currently trying his hand at fishing without using a fishing pole or a spear. Instead, he was using his bare hands.

"Is that kid retarded? He'll never catch anything like that!" Xigbar said.

"I wouldn't be too sure." Zexion said.

"Why would you say that?"

"Because anytime there is a slim chance of something like that happening in this story, it happens." the stoic man replied.

"You've got a good point." Xigbar admitted.

And, just as Zexion predicted, within moments, Sora had caught himself a little fishie. The boy stared at the flailing blue fish intently.

After several moments of thoughtful contemplation, he shouted out, "Hey! This fish looks just like Riku!"

"What?" the silver haired teen asked in confusion. He looked over Sora's shoulder and examined said fish. "It looks nothing like me." he said indignantly.

"Yeahuh! See, he even has the same eyebrows!" Sora defended, pointing at the fish.

"Fish don't even _**have **_eyebrows!" Riku retorted.

"Nonbeliever." Sora muttered with a pout. He turned to the fish and stroked it lovingly. "I'll name you Riku Jr., okay?"

The fish in question seemed to have given up hope for escaping, and simply lolled around in the enthusiastic boy's hands.

"Glad to hear you agree!"

"I hate to break this to you, but Riku junior, as you so lovingly call him, is a she. Not to mention, she is going to die soon without any water." Zexion said as he passed to pick up an angry looking clam.

Sora gasped and frantically dug a burrow in the sand and filled it with water. He placed the blue fish into the basin, then turned toward his silver haired best friend.

"Riku…does this mean you're a girl?" he asked tentatively.

"What?! Just because that damn fish is a girl, doesn't mean I am!" he shouted, disturbed.

"Are you sure about that?" Xigbar asked suspiciously.

"Of course!" Riku said, beginning to blush. He knew from the expressions on their faces that they were scrutinizing him and trying to imagine him as someone of the opposite sex. Judging from their hysterical laughter, it was an extremely amusing image.

All of a sudden, a huge wave washed something huge and orange ashore. As the tide receded, Riku Jr. escaped with the water.

"Riku juniorrrrrrrr!" Sora cried, trying to dive into the water and retrieve the fish.

"No, don't! It's suicide!" Demyx exclaimed while holding back the scrambling boy.

As for the orange item that washed ashore, upon closer inspection, it was revealed to be a motorized lifeboat.

Nearly everyone had a heart attack upon realizing this.

"Does this mean we can escape?" Kairi asked faintly.

"Yes! Let's go! Hop aboard everyone--except you, Tom Hanks! You stay here!" Xigbar said threateningly to a scraggly looking person. The poor castaway actor man sighed and threw his volleyball, Wilson, to the ground then walked away to be emo.

As soon as everyone was aboard the boat, they turned the motor on and began to speed away.

"Freedom!" they chorused exuberantly.

"Um, so where are we going?" Vexen inquired.

"And who's steering?" Kairi asked.

They all turned around and saw that the boat was steering itself. An automated voice box activated and Ansem's voice rung out:

"Fellow contestants, this boat will be escorting you to the location for your next challenge--be prepared, for it will be challenging!" With that, the voice box faded.

Everyone's hearts sank like stones--with the exception of the Nobodies who don't have hearts. Let's just say they dropped little pebbles out of their pockets in a symbolic way.

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**The next chapter will probably show on the radar in a week and a half--if you want it any sooner, then I suggest REVIEWING!!! -**

**ttfn!**


	27. The Thirteenth Challenge

Hey, I know I said that I would post on Wednsday, but I had a lot of things going on this week, but never fear, for the next chapter is here!

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**The Thirteenth Challenge**

The lifeboat brought the eight castaways to a smaller island, about ten minutes away from the main island. They all disembarked and set their seasick legs on the beach.

"I hope we never have to do that again…" Kairi spluttered, holding her stomach.

"You would've been fine if you ate Reeses Puff cereal for breakfast. Reeses--for breakfast!" Demyx said, sounding like an infomercial.

"I hope you arrived here without much incident?" Ansem asked, as he approached the group.

"Well, halfway here, we lost Cloud to the sharks, but other than that we're fine." Zexion said sarcastically.

"Oh dear…" Ansem said, rubbing his chin as he noticed the absence of the blonde. "Well, we can't postpone the challenge for him. We'll just have to start right away."

"Why do we have to have the challenge on this island anyway?" Vexen asked suspiciously.

"Because of the potential collateral damage." Imogene said as she jumped down from a helicopter. Today, she was wearing a suit of armor that looked extremely heavy. She clanked her way over to stand beside Ansem.

"Um…Are we going to get hurt?" Riku asked warily.

"Most likely."

"Great. That's just lovely." the silver haired teen said, throwing his hands up as if asking for help from above.

The group began to feel the ground under their feet shake.

"Ohhh!" Imogene squealed, "They're coming!"

Out from the brush emerged…a giant Tyrannosaurus Rex!

"Aaaaaaaahhhhhh! Bloody Murder!!!" Everyone in the group screamed bloody murder. (ha, ha, I am so clever!)

Imogene leapt into action and pulled a hair straightened out of her armor and knocked the prehistoric creature unconscious.

"Dude…you can get out from behind me." Xigbar said to Zexion.

Zexion cleared his throat and emerged, straightening his coat.

"So you're afraid of dinosaurs?" Xigbar asked.

"Well, they do have big pointy teeth. And they're nasty vicious." Zexion explained in a muffled voice.

"How the hell is there a living breathing dinosaur here?!" Vexen shouted. "It defies all scientific logic!"

"Sorry about that--Tiny must have escaped from his cage." Imogene explained.

"Tiny?" Sora asked, reviving from his faint.

"Yeah, he's the runt of the litter. Isn't he adorable?" Imogene murmured fondly, stroking its scaly head.

Meanwhile out at ocean…

Cloud was still wrestling with the sharks.

"You'll never beat me, you stupid bloodthirsty maggots!" he shouted as he pounded one of them with his fist.

"What did you call us, you stupid gel head?!" one of the sharks exclaimed angrily. "Say that to my face, I dare ya!"

"I will!" Thus, the fighting continued.

Back on the island…

The ground began to tremble again.

"I hope that isn't a relative of Tiny's coming to wish us a happy Hanukkah." Demyx said with a tremor in his voice.

"Nope. This time, it's them." Imogene said with a devilish grin.

"Somehow, that doesn't make me feel any better." the Melodious Nocturne muttered.

Out of the thicket of trees emerged…an army of walking, talking marshmallows. And not just any marshmallows, but marshmallow gladiators! They formed a circle around the group and came to a halt, their marshmallow faces holding a stern expression.

"What is this challenge about, exactly?" Kairi asked fearfully.

"It's simple, really. You will all be working independently to try and survive the onslaught of my buddies, the marshmallow gladiators." Imogene explained.

"First one to the top of the volcano wins the challenge and immunity." Ansem added as Zexion handed the immunity bottle cap to the host.

"Where did you ever come across such strange creatures?" Vexen asked, taking a scientific interest in the gladiators.

"Well, you see, one day I was making s'mores by a nuclear power plant, and I left the bag of marshmallows there when I left. They mutated and now they obey me." Imogene replied.

The lead marshmallow gladiator growled threateningly.

"I kid, I kid. They don't really obey me, and they aren't really mutated. They're just aliens." Imogene corrected herself.

"So let me get this straight--we have to fight our way to the top of that smoking volcano, while we have some freaky marshmallow things trying to kill us?" Vexen asked, hoping this was all just some huge joke and his agent would come and save him.

"Yep. That's the whole idea." Imogene grinned.

"Get ready…go!" Ansem shouted, and the marshmallows began to advance toward them.

"Oh, my g-" Xigbar began to say before one of the marshmallows tackled him to the ground, beating him viciously. "Go! Save yourself!" the Freelance Shooter shouted to the others in a muffled voice.

"He's right. Let's save ourselves!" Vexen said, and without pretense, charged through the crowd of white warriors. With a moment of hesitation, the rest of the team followed him.

"Why does my life suck?" Kairi asked the sky as she ran.

"Look up ahead!" Riku exclaimed. Just ahead of the group was a row of catapults, ready to be used.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Vexen asked.

"That it is really suspicious that Halloween comes before Thanksgiving?" Sora asked.

"No, we should use these to escape." Vexen sighed at the boy's idiotic answer.

"Quick, before they catch up with us!" Kairi said. They all looked behind them and saw the marshmallow gladiators in the distance, running to catch up to them, all the while yelling various threats such as death by chocolate and vinegar sauce.

"At least they're slow." Demyx said.

"There is enough room for two people to a catapult." Zexion calculated.

The separated into the catapults: Sora and Riku, Kairi and Vexen, and Demyx all by himself.

"What about you, Zexion?" Sora asked, distraught.

"Someone has to stay behind to activate the catapults." the Nobody explained emotionlessly as he pulled the levers and released the rest of his teammates into the sky.

"Noooooo! Zexy!!!!!" Sora cried as he soared through the sky.

"Shouldn't you be a bit more worried about us?!" Riku shouted as he smashed into a passing pigeon.

Meanwhile, with Cloud…

Cloud had finally fought the sharks off of his tail and was swimming in what he hoped was the direction of the island.

"Argh! This would be a lot easier if that stupid shark hadn't bitten off my left bum cheek!" he growled.

Abruptly, he spotted land not far away. Filled with a new vigor, he swam toward it and climbed ashore.

"Hello?" he called, slightly wary.

"Oh dear, it seems you need help."

Cloud jumped and spun around. There stood an old woman holding a picnic basket.

"Where am I?" he asked.

"You are on the island of mysteries. You needed it, so it came." the woman answered.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you seem to be missing a butt cheek. This island can fix you all up, all for the price of one hair." she paused, looking at his spiky blonde hair then added, "And you seem to have enough of that."

Cloud deliberated. "Oh, alright." he sighed.

The woman led him to a small cave and sat him down. "Now just relax and you will be healed." she reassured him as she left, closing the stone door behind her.

"What? How is that--Hey! Don't lock me in here!" Cloud shouted, cursing himself for believing the old bat. He jumped up from his chair and banged on the door.

The old woman sat outside, listening to his banging, while eating a tuna sandwich.

"Let me out! Hey! Don't pretend you can't hear me!"

The woman grinned. "I hope I don't suddenly get impaled by scissors." she muttered, checking her watch.

"W-who are you? What are you--" he suddenly went silent.

--with Kairi and Vexen

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!" Kairi was screaming as she and Vexen were launched from the catapult.

"Oh my gosh! Can't you shut up for just one second and help me find a way for us to land safely?" Vexen shouted.

"Did someone say Superman?" asked a dark haired individual in a red cape and blue tights.

"What the devil--you're flying!" Vexen exclaimed.

"I know. It's what I do." the man shrugged. Then, the strange flying man gathered the two up in his super steroid abused arms and landed them safely on the ground.

Kairi took one good look at him and grimaced in disgust. "Ewww! Put some real pants on--please!"

"Couldn't you have dropped us off at the top of the volcano?" Vexen asked.

'Superman' was about to answer when he suddenly put his hand to his ear and began talking to himself. "What? A kitten stuck in a tree? How awful! I'll be right there." And with that, he flew away.

"Great. We might as well start walking." Vexen muttered, disgruntled.

--with Demyx

Unlucky for the Melodious Nocturne, he had landed flat on his face in the middle of a nest of pelicans. After several minutes of squawking and biting, Demyx managed to fight his way out of the bird's lair and get away from them.

"This has got to be the worst time of my life." he muttered to himself.

"Great. Now I'm talking to myself."

"Hello? Can anyone hear me?" he called out.

Silence.

"Anyone? Riku? Sora? Vexen? Kairi?"

A twig snapped.

Demyx spun around and peered through the dense foliage.

He laughed nervously. "Vexen? That's you, isn't it? You're just trying to scare me."

Another twig snapped and the sound of breathing could be heard.

"Right?" the blonde squeaked.

The bushes were pushed aside, revealing…

--with Riku and Sora

The two keybearers had landed relatively safely in a fluffy mango tree. As they were climbing down, Sora chuckled, earning a weird look from Riku.

"You find our situation funny?" he asked disbelievingly.

"No, not really. This just reminds me of the days before we tried to leave on the raft. Remember? You always had me climb the trees to get the random eggs for our rations storage." Sora replied.

"Wow. That sounded like it came from the old, non-add Sora." Riku commented.

"I guess the tree knocked some temporary sense into me--sense which will probably be gone within the next few minutes." Sora answered wisely.

"That sucks. But anyway, yeah, I remember. And if I recall correctly, you couldn't climb the trees worth crap. You would just throw yourself at the damn trees and I would have to push the 'O' button on the Playstation remote over and over again because you wouldn't grab on to the freaking tree."

They both sighed simultaneously.

"Good times."

As they reached the bottom, they heard a piercing scream come from a little ways away.

"W-was that Demyx?" Sora asked nervously.

"I don't know, but I'm not sticking around to find out!" Riku shouted, already running on ahead.

"Good plan!"

Meanwhile, with Cloud…

Cloud woke up slowly and realized that he wasn't in the cave anymore. He was lying on the beach. Sitting up abruptly, he felt a pain and looked down.

"Aw, damn! They took my freaking kidney!" he exclaimed, seeing a stitched up wound. Feeling for any other internal organs he was missing, he noticed that he did indeed have a new bum cheek. That, however, did not keep him from swearing death to that old lady if he ever saw her again.

"Did you miss me?" asked the old lady.

"You!" Cloud growled, getting ready to pounce. However, the lady was quicker and she grabbed him and threw him into a catapult.

"I've got to thank my son for this. Nice boy, even if he is a little obsessed with Destiny." she said as she pulled the lever and launched Cloud into the ocean.

"Son?" Cloud asked. It was something to ponder on a rainy day. Or a day when you were sailing through the skies, waiting for impact.

--with Kairi and Vexen

After walking upwards and gaining more blisters than a corn farmer on Halloween, Vexen and Kairi were approaching the top of the volcano.

"You do realize that I'm gonna win this game." Vexen challenged Kairi out of the blue.

The redhead laughed. "_You_? Frankly, even a rabid squirrel has more chance of winning than you do."

"What?! And why do you think that is?" the chilly academic inquired with a curl of his lip.

"Because you're an old man and you can't hope to outdo all of the young people around you." Kairi answered simply.

"Well, let this old man show you what he can do!" Vexen shouted as he picked the girl up, and heaved her off the path.

She shouted the whole way down and finally landed in a pond of mud. She stood up and waved her fist at the Nobody.

"I'll get you for that, you damned pig smeller!" she screamed.

"I'd like to see you try!" he shouted back. Chuckling, he turned to continue on the path, when his back popped with the sound of an iceberg cracking.

"Owww…my back!" he muttered, and hunched over in pain.

Suddenly, he heard a scream from down below. Glancing back over the edge, he saw Kairi being taken into the shadows of the trees by a group of the marshmallow gladiators.

He broke out in a sweat and began to run as fast as his injured old man's back would allow him.

"Hey!" he shouted, protesting the use of 'old man's back'.

The author changed the term to 'somewhat pained back'.

"That's better." Vexen said smugly.

He glanced up and saw that Riku and Sora were closing in on the top of the mountain, and _his _prize.

"Oh noes they didn't!" he shouted, and broke into a full out run, ignoring the fact that his back was nearly being sawed in half by pain.

The two boys spotted Vexen's approach, and yelled in panic at the deranged expression on his face and began running themselves.

"You'll never beat me!" the scientist shouted from behind them.

"Riku, I'm scared!" Sora cried.

"Just keep running!" Riku shouted, panting.

They had almost reached the top when it happened. Sora, in a fateful step, tripped on a pink gumball and sprawled out on the ground. He in turn tripped Riku, who tripped Vexen. They recovered from their daze and looked up.

In front of them was a throne next to the volcano's crater. And sitting in the throne was none other than Zexion.

"What took you so long?" he asked smugly. Next to him sat two marshmallow gladiators with Kairi, Demyx, and Xigbar held hostage.

"B-but…" Riku started.

"H-how…" Sora murmured.

"Did you…" Vexen growled.

"Simple my friends. I _am _the Cloaked Schemer, after all. I persuaded these guys to give me a lift to the top of the volcano when they caught up to me at the catapults." Zexion answered.

"How did you do that?" Riku asked.

"That's for me to know and you to find out." the stoic Nobody answered.

"Now that you're all here, we have been instructed to return you to the beach where you started." the marshmallow gladiator leader said in a gruff voice. He signaled to his minions. They all shouted "affirmative!" in high squeaky voices and roughly grabbed the surprised people. (With the exception of Zexion, who was carried down the volcano with an air of great care--hey! That rhymed!)

Once they were all back at the beach, the marshmallows threw the team members down, and after biding goodbye to Imogene, boarded their UFO and took off into the sunset.

"It looks like you won again, Zexion." Ansem said, congratulating him with a pat on the back.

Zexion was about to say his prepared emo and angst filled acceptance speech, when he suddenly turned around and saw a figure approaching the island from the water.

"Cloud?" he murmured.

"Cloud! You're alright!" Sora cried, running out to help the injured man to shore.

"What can I say? I'm a survivor." he muttered, before he collapsed, holding his saltwater-infected wound.

"We need paramedics, stat!" Imogene shouted into her radio.

A medical helicopter appeared and landed. The doctors in clown suits jumped out (Sora fainted) and rushed Cloud away to live another day. (I'm a regular little poet today, aren't I?)

At Council Fire…

Imogene was still wearing her suit of armor and the visor had developed a problem where it just would not remain open. Every few seconds, the girl would pull it up again, until she finally got fed up and took the helmet off then chucked it at Riku.

"Ow!" he gasped.

"Look at all of their nervous faces, Ansem." she giggled to the host.

"Yes. Are you ready to announce the two who are going home?" the man asked.

"Ansem." Cloud interrupted, finally deciding to ask what was bugging him.

"What?" he queried.

"Is you mom still alive? Because I think I may have met--"

"That's it! Destiny has decided you loose!" Ansem shouted, pointing his finger at the startled blonde. The trapdoor opened underneath him and he fell into its dark depths.

"Your mom? She's even still alive? How old are you?" Kairi asked, scrutinizing Ansem's face.

"You're next, sweetheart!" Imogene said, pointing at her.

"Noooo!" she screamed as the door swallowed her alive. It closed with a satisfied burp.

"How old _are _you?" Demyx asked, curiosity aroused.

"You are going to go too!" Ansem shouted, but Imogene held him back.

"Sir, we've already filled the quota for this chapter." she reminded him regretfully.

"I've got an idea! Maybe he's like a tree and all we have to do is count his wrinkles to determine his age! Remember, one wrinkle equals one year!" Xigbar exclaimed.

"I hate you all and I hope Destiny smites you!" Ansem wailed as he stormed off.

Imogene sighed. "Now look what you've all done. I hope you're happy, cuz now I'm going to have to read him bedtime stories until he falls asleep."

"Sorry." the group mumbled.

"Whatever. Zexion, you can take the immunity idol and the rest of you, take your complimentary prize baskets." Imogene instructed as she walked off to follow Ansem.

"Yay! Prizes!" Sora exclaimed.

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Review please? (And send me inspiration while you are at it) 


	28. Time to Partay with Invisowatches

Hey guys, how long has it been now? It feels like two years since I last updated...sniffle

Oh, and I would like to say that the Marshmallow Gladiators from last chapter were not my idea, and were in fact, Mikoto-cat's little mind babies. Just wanted to clear that up.

And while I am on that topic, for those of you who want credit for the ideas that you offered me, send me a message and I will include your name in a little shrine of honorness and love on the last chapter. And for any weirdos who might want to claim that they gave me an idea when they really didn't, don't waste your time, seeing as I have a pretty good idea of the 5 or 6 people who really did give me ideas. (Don't look at me weirdly when I say that--It's happened before!)

And one last thing before you read this chapter--I want to know if any of you are interested in seeing Sora's serious side show up for a while on the last challenge/chapter, or just anytime in the future. Anyway, I won't keep you any longer--read on!**

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Time to Partay with Inviso-Watches 

Team Destiny's Ninjas were walking back to camp from their last challenge, with Sora singing joyfully.

"Prizes, prizes, oh how I love prizes!"

"Will you quit singing already?!" Vexen demanded, throwing the boy an irritated look.

"But I don't wanna!" Sora pouted, making the hearts of fan girls across the globe melt into putty in their chest cavities.

"Well, you'd better, before I decide to leave a banana slug in your bed tonight!"

"That was an odd threat." Demyx said as Sora shuddered in horror.

"Yes, but an effective one." Vexen smirked, glancing at Sora.

The Keyblade Master had wide eyes and was repeating the mantra: "So slimy…must get away from sluggy body!"

"Will you ever shut up?!" Vexen screamed, bursting a blood vessel in his forehead.

"Why don't you all shut up! Don't make me turn this car around!" Riku yelled.

"What car?" Demyx asked.

"Sorry, I just wanted to say that at least once in my life." Riku explained.

"Psht! Noob." Demyx muttered contemptuously under his breath.

"You might want to fix that." Xigbar said to Vexen, pointing at the blood pouring from the scientist's forehead.

"Oh, right." Vexen pulled a band aid out of his pocket and slapped it onto his forehead.

"Disney Princess band aids?" Xigbar snorted as the rest of the team laughed.

"What?" Vexen asked, puzzled. He pulled another band aid out of his pocket, and sure enough, it was decorated with the grinning face of Snow White. The Nobody quickly threw the band aid away and curled his lip. "That most definitely isn't mine!" he said with disgust.

"Sure it isn't. It was only in your pocket." Xigbar

"I swear, I have no idea how it got there!" Vexen cried. "I bought normal, plain band aids, not these flowery pieces of--"

"Whoa, language Vexen." Xigbar reminded the Nobody.

As soon as the campsite was in view, Sora ran the rest of the way there, checked his bed for banana slugs, then sat down and began to tear through his prize bag. The first thing he pulled out was…

"A pair of suction cup shoes!" he exclaimed and put the dorkey looking things on. They were even bigger than his normal shoes (which is really saying something) and had a sleek look to them.

"Look guys! Look what I can do!" he shouted as he walked up a tree trunk.

"Sweet!" Xigbar exclaimed, and went searching through his own bag. "Hey! Why don't I have a pair?" he whined.

"Perhaps the prizes differ for each person." Zexion theorized.

Meanwhile, Sora had gone back to looking though his bag. He suddenly gasped and his eyes bulged.

"What is it?" everyone asked curiously.

Sora lifted his hand out of the sack slowly and held up…a chocolate bar!

"It's…chocolate." he murmured reverently.

"Oh no…" Riku moaned. He rushed forward to stop his friend, but was a second too late--Sora had already popped the chocolate into his mouth and swallowed it.

--three minutes later--

Sora on meds is the Sora we all know and love. Sora without his meds is hyperactive, and a bit random. Sora on donuts is a sugar craving, doglike creature. Sora on chocolate chip pancakes is a gluttonous spaz at best. Sora on pure, undiluted chocolate is a mini atomic bomb. The boy's teammates fled for cover from his maniacal laughter and busts of song from The Little Mermaid.

"Dude, I elect you to go back there and stop him." Xigbar announced, clapping Riku on the shoulder.

"Why me?"

"Because you're his friend. Isn't that what friends do?" Demyx asked earnestly.

"Define friend." Riku persisted in his argument.

"Just go do it!" Xigbar commanded, giving the teen a shove in the direction of the camp.

"I'm not going back there until he stops singing. And besides, there isn't anything I can do anyway. We'll just have to wait for the chocolate's effect to wear off."

"How long will that take?" Demyx asked, looking at his inviso-watch.

"Not too long, judging by the size of the chocolate bar." Riku reassured them.

--Not too long later--

The rest of the team had deemed it safe to return to the campsite. What they found astounded them.

Sora had managed to somehow tag everything he could reach 'Choco-man'; there were chunks of concrete scattered all over the place (we won't ask how they got there); there was a suspicious looking red balloon tied to one of the trees.

The mastermind of all of this destruction was lying on his stomach playing with a train set. Hearing the others, he looked up.

"Hey guys! Where've you been?"

"Nowhere special." Zexion answered, stepping forward. "Now, Sora, what did you use to tag our campsite?" the cloaked schemer asked.

"Oh, that? I used those." he answered, pointing to a mound of spray paint cans.

"And you didn't happen to use all of the paint, did you?" Zexion prompted.

"Nope."

Zexion grinned, and even a blind baby could tell that he was in scheming mode.

"Oh no! That's horrible!" Sora exclaimed, startling Zexion.

"What?" he asked.

"Tommy train just found out that his friend, Jack caboose, has been stealing all of his ice cream Sundays!"

"Yes, that really is horrible." Zexion scowled.

"So are you gonna let us in on your plan?" Riku asked.

"I don't see why not." Zexion answered coolly. "If we truly want to be rescued from this place, then our best bet would be to make an SOS sign and hope that someone sees it."

"Excellent plan, my good chap. Now let's set about making a giant sign!" Demyx said happily.

--One giant sign later--

"Whew, that was a radical amount of work!" Xigbar sighed, leaning against a tree trunk.

"Now all we have to do is spray paint it, and we'll be finished." Riku said, wiping his brow and reaching for a can of the paint.

Suddenly, there was a brilliant flash of light and the sound of metal creaking. The light faded, revealing a giant foreign looking UFO type ship.

"Noooo! The paint!" Demyx wailed as he fell to the ground, for the ship had conveniently landed right on top of the heap of spray paint cans. "It's alright--we can still use it!" he laughed a bit deranged like as he tried to gather the spilled paint with his hands.

"Give it up Demy." Xigbar said sadly as he pat the melodious nocturne on the back.

"Who had the nerve to destroy what might have been our only hope of salvation?!" Vexen screamed, getting ready to kick some serious arse.

The door hatch on the ship opened, and mist came spilling from its interior. Then, a strange looking man emerged. He wore some snazzy shades, and a crazy metallic blue and white suit. His hair was black with white and purple streaks in it.

"Whoa! Who are you?" Sora asked, tossing this trains aside.

"I…am from the future!" the man answered melodramatically.

"Wow…" Sora mumbled.

"That's nonsense! There's no such thing as time travel!" Vexen scoffed.

"Believe what you will, but I am here on an important mission." The man said, and scanned the gathered people.

"You!" he said, pointing at Sora.

"Me?" the Keyblade Master asked.

"Yes, you. Your shoes have the power to affect the fate of the future. May I have them?"

Sora gasped. "These shoes?" he asked, gesturing toward his suction cup shoes.

"Affirmative. Now may I have them?"

Sora contemplated for exactly 2 hours before deciding.

"Sure, if it will help the future."

The man from the future woke up from his daze with a snort. "Ah, huh?…Ah yes! Excellent! Now remove them from your feet and place them in my waiting hands." he commanded.

Sora took the shoes off and was about to hand them over. "Hold on--can I have a moment to say goodbye?" he asked.

Future man nodded. "Just don't take too long." he said.

Another 2 hours later…

A sniffling Sora handed his shoes over to Future Man.

"Are you sure you don't want to tell them a goodbye story?" he asked sarcastically.

"Oh! Do you think they would want that?" Sora asked.

"N-no, um, they tell me that they want nothing more than to bid this time period goodbye and be on their way to help save the future." Future man said hastily.

"Oh, alright." Sora said sadly.

Future man turned to climb back into his ship when Demyx called out to him.

"Hold on! Do you have any advise for us from the future?" he asked.

Future man stroked his chin. "Well…don't go to Disneyland--it's not the same as it used to be…stay away from public transportation…and dear God, when Mario Brothers version 36 comes out, do not buy it! I repeat--_do not _buy it!"

With those cryptic warnings, Future man boarded his ship and blasted away, disappearing into a flash of light.

"I wonder if I'll ever see them again." Sora murmured.

"Who knows. Now lets get some shut eye--I want to have a good nights rest for tomorrow's challenge." Vexen said. He put his face cream on and fell asleep, thinking young and rejuvenating thoughts.

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review if you wove me...or if you just like this story/chapter 


	29. The Fourteenth Challenge

Oh my, it has been a while since I last updated, hasn't it...I am terribly sorry peeps--I just got so caught up with schoolwork, that I didn't have any time for the story...

Anyway, I hope this chappie is up to par--and don't forget to review at the end!!! It will give me lotsa inspiration.

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**The Fourteenth Challenge**

After a long and restful sleep, the members of Destiny's Ninjas awoke to a bright and wonderful sun. The day began with a ridiculously happy and joy filled atmosphere. Somewhere up above, the clouds were doing happy little dances.

"I feel so happy and joy filled that I'm gonna go climb a tree and try to communicate with passing carrier pigeons!" Sora said, and bounded off toward the nearest tree. Meanwhile, Zexion was nearly having a panic attack.

"My emo levels can't take much more of this happiness!" he exclaimed, checking a watch-like device on his wrist.

"What is with this swelling feeling of joy inside my chest?" Vexen asked in fascination, touching his hand to the spot where his heart would be if he had one.

"I feel like I can do anything…" Demyx said wondrously, eyeing a nearby 6,000 ft rock face and debating whether or not he should attempt to climb it.

"Dude, this feeling is so awesome! We should totally do this more often!" Xigbar said ecstatically.

"Yeah we…hey wait--" Riku snapped out of his happiness induced stupor and turned to look at the Nobodies. "You guys shouldn't be able to feel emotions like joy."

All of the present Nobodies blinked, then looked at Riku.

"You know…he's right." Demyx said finally. And abruptly, the happy and joy filled atmosphere was gone.

"Hey! Someone is coming!" Sora called from his perch. Everyone turned around just as none other than Ansem himself stepped out of the trees and onto the beach.

"Here you go." he said bluntly, handing a slip of paper to the confused Xigbar.

"What gives?" Xiggy asked (that is such a fun nickname, huh?).

"I ran out of creative ideas on how to give you the next challenge announcement." the man muttered. Then he turned around and walked back the way he came.

"Um…that was kind of weird." Demyx commented.

And so, with the enthusiasm and happinessness to rival the lollypop guild ("Ah! Not the happiness!" Zexion cried), they were on their way to the next challenge.

Upon arrival, they looked around the grounds in search of a clue for what their challenge might be, but to no avail. There was only an empty playing field and a basket of lint rollers.

"Do you think our challenge will have something to do with these?" Vexen asked dubiously.

"Oh, you silly old man." Imogene said, dropping quite mysteriously out of the sky. Today, the co-host was dressed in a red, pink, and white kimono and wearing some panda earrings.

"Oh em gee! I love your earrings!" Demyx exclaimed with a squeal.

Everyone, even Sora, stared at the Melodious Nocturne strangely.

Demyx seemed to realize what he had said. "That must have been Marluxia's spirit possessing me from beyond the grave!" he said, looking totally weirded out.

"Anywho, your earring fetish aside, Ansem will be here momentarily with the equipment required for this challenge." Imogene said with a bow.

Indeed, after the words were out of her mouth, Ansem appeared, lugging a heavy looking sack behind him.

"Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!" Sora squealed in such a high octave, he could shatter the particles that make up glass. "It's a body! Ansem's a murderer and he's gonna kill us all!" The frantic Keyblade Master turned and began running away.

"Oh no you don't!" Imogene yelled, kicking off her shoe. It soared majestically through the air and conked Sora over the head. The boy sprawled out on the sand, dazed. Imogene made her way over to Sora and knelt down next to him.

"Does polly want a cracker?" she asked.

Sora looked up, his eyes sparkling. "Yes!"

"Here you go, then." The co-host pulled a little mind out of her pocket and handed it to Sora.

"Yay! Cracker!" he said happily, and skipped back to join the others once more.

Ansem cleared his throat. "Isn't it time we got this party started?"

"Yeah!" the group chorused.

--One crazy party later--

Ansem brought his microphone out and began to speak into it. "I guess it's time we started the chall--hey! Xigbar, you'd better not touch that lemonade stand one more time! And you three! Stop harassing that rabbit!" The man sighed. "Destiny help me."

--We interrupt this program to advertise the release of the Special Ultra Deluxe Ruby/Platinum/Gold/Granite/Plutonium/ Sapphire/Emerald/White Edition of Bambi--the original movie with an additional six scenes, including Bambi first trip to the Plains of Despair, Bambi meets a hobo, and Bambi questions the meaning of life! Buy it today or suffer Bambi's wrath! Now back to your regularly scheduled program--

The team had gotten over its party jitters and was listening intently to Ansem who had begun explaining the challenge.

"It will be a juggling contest the likes of which you have never seen!" he said with conviction.

"What?! But I don't even know how to juggle!" Riku and Vexen exclaimed simultaneously. (Yay for doing things in unison!)

"That's not our problem, sweeties." Imogene said with a shrug. Ansem pulled out the first of the juggling balls and handed it to Demyx.

"Ugh!" he grunted. "This thing is heavy!"

"Precisely. It is going to take tremendous strength in order to pull this challenge off." Ansem smirked.

Once the contestants had three balls each, Imogene blew the whistle that signaled the start of the challenge. Vexen stood there and made a feeble attempt to juggle, but only succeeded in dropping all three of the heavy balls on his right toe.

"Youch! My lucky toe!" he yelped, jumping up and down on his good leg to take the pressure off of his injured one.

"Vexen, you're out!" Ansem declared. The Chilly Academic grumbled as he sat down on the sidelines to watch.

"Hey! I think I've got the hang of this!" Riku exclaimed as he began to enthusiastically throw the balls higher and higher into the air. Then, quite suddenly, he was only juggling two. "Huh?" the silver haired teen looked up, but there was no ball in sight. "That's odd…" he mumbled.

"Riku is disqualified for loosing one of his balls!" Ansem shouted.

"Oh, darn it!" Riku said unhappily, and went to join Vexen.

Meanwhile, somewhere off the coast of Brazil, Riku's lost juggling ball was enjoying the sights on its all expense paid vacation…

Back on the island, Imogene had begun a running commentary on the challenge.

"And Demyx is having a seemingly easy time with this…There goes Zexion--just look at that determination he has! Sora looks like he's just gotten his groove thang on…Oh! That was a close call on Xigbar…Nice save by the Xig-man…Sora looks ecstatic that he's keeping up with his idol, Zexion."

"What about me!" Riku cried despairingly.

"It's okay… I'm sure Sora probably likes you just as much as he does Zexion." Vexen assured the teen, giving him a pat on the back and handing him a tissue.

"I think we need to liven things up!" Imogene said with a familiar spark of mischief in her eyes. Reaching into the bag, she pulled out extra balls and threw them to each of the contestants, so that they each had four.

"Ack! Nooooo!" Sora cried, as slow motion set in. The new addition had disrupted his pattern, scattering all four balls in every direction. Xigbar and Demyx were lucky enough to avoid the flying orbs (still in slow motion), but a certain Zexion wasn't so lucky. Two of Sora's juggling balls collided with two of his own and exploded on contact. Their smoking remains dropped to the ground as regular motion set back in. Zexion looked slightly dumbfounded as Ansem announced both his and Sora's departure from the competition.

"I'm so sorry Zexy! I really didn't mean for that to happen!" Sora was crying as they walked to the sidelines.

Zexion ignored him.

"Oh you're mad now, aren't you?! Don't be mad at me!" Sora whined, dropping to his knees and attempting the puppy dog eyes.

Zexion continued to ignore him. In a last, desperate attempt, Sora grabbed the man's leg.

"Let go of my leg." Zexion commanded.

"Accept my apology first!" Sora pouted.

"Why should I? If it weren't for your Kamikaze balls, I would have won that challenge." Zexion replied resentfully, and wrenched his leg out of Sora's grip.

"B-but no one can resist my adorableness! This just isn't possible!" Sora shrieked and exploded due to a short circuit.

"Dar she blows!" yelled a random man from a random ship out at sea.

Back at the challenge, Imogene continued her commentary. "It looks like the remaining two--Xigbar and Demyx--have adjusted to the new balls nicely…Oh, it looks like we might have a photo finish!"

"Give it up little dude! You can't beat my superior skills!" Xigbar taunted.

"Oh yeah? Well I think you're the one who is gonna loose to me!" Demyx countered (quite poorly if I might add).

"Not in a million years!" Xigbar yelled. All of a sudden, from the heavens, descended the ball that Riku had lost, back from its tour of the southern hemisphere. Down, down, it came, upon Xigbar's head.

"Ow!" The Nobody yelped, but didn't drop any of his balls. Seeing this, Riku's former ball got angry and bounced up once more to knock Xigbar on the top of the head again, this time, knocking him out.

"It looks like Demyx is the winnah!" Imogene announced.

"Alright! I knew taking those juggling classes would pay off someday!" Demyx cheered, jumping into the air.

Ansem put the immunity bottle cap necklace around Demyx's neck, then said slightly menacingly to the others, "We'll see you at Council Fire, where Destiny will decide which two of you will be the next to go…"

--Council Fire--

Ansem and Imogene were in a corner talking to Buddha knows what while the rest of Team Destiny's Ninjas waited in anticipation (minus Demyx, who was safe from the wrath of the trapdoor). The two hosts stood up.

"We have conferred with the almighty Destiny, and it has informed us that the next two to leave are…" Ansem paused for dramatic effect. "Xigbar and Vexen!"

"Dude, that's not cool." Xigbar said before he fell into the trapdoor.

"Oh, this isn't going to be fun." Vexen muttered as he too was swallowed by the trapdoor.

"You four are the only ones left." Imogene said, looking at Sora (who had rebooted after his little exploding episode), Zexion, Riku, and Demyx.

"May Destiny be with you." Ansem saluted them then handed them their prize of…

"Coupons for Red Lobster?!" Riku exclaimed in disbelief. "How are we going to use these?"

"By getting 50 off of your next meal--how else?" Imogene replied patronizingly.

"Frankly, they're more useful to burn." Zexion said drolly.

"Well that 'aint our problem." the girl said without a care.

"Till next time, peeps!" Ansem said as he popped out their sight, leaving behind a smell of fish.

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REVIEW IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!!!! Just kidding, but do review for me, please. 


	30. The Bunny Tribe's Secret

Once again, sorry for the delay. I would type up my excuse, but I am just so darned lazy right now. I feel that this chapter is not up to par, but just bear with me--it is setting things up for the finale. Hopefully, the next chapter won't take so long to get posted...

Review please! It helps me with my inspiration (which I am a bit low on at the moment)

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The Bunny Tribe's Secret

Upon returning to camp from their last challenge, Sora began sobbing once he saw Vexen's lab set.

"I miss him already! He was such a good friend!"

"He's kidding, right?" Demyx muttered to Riku. "I mean, the old man hated Sora."

"Good luck telling Sora that." Riku scoffed.

Sora had just gotten over his crying fit when he passed Xigbar's old spot. Seized by a new flood of emotion, Sora broke down and began to pound the ground. "Why?! Why does everyone I care about eave me?! He screamed a bit hoarsely.

"Aww…I feel so bad for him. Aren't you gonna comfort him, Riku?" Demyx asked.

The silver haired teen was lying on his back and fiddling around with his Red Lobster coupon absentmindedly. "He'll be fine. He's just overreacting as usual."

Demyx didn't seem satisfied with that answer and decided to take it upon himself to comfort the Keyblade Master. Approaching the boy slowly as to not frighten him off, Demyx reached out and patted Sora's shoulder gingerly, just as the boy let out a particularly harsh sob. Demyx jumped in surprise, yanking his hand back, but determined not to quit.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm sure you'll see them again soon."

"Why Demyx, I didn't know you were such a sentimentalist." Zexion commented as he passed the two.

"I'm not!" Demyx yelled, sounding flustered.

"You're right. We Nobodies lack the capacity to be sentimental." Zexion agreed as he picked up a curious polka dotted bowtie. "Now, where did this come from?" he wondered, deciding to make an investigation of the matter.

"Come on! Help me out here Riku!" Demyx cried, realizing that Sora's hysterics weren't stopping despite his comforting words.

"I told you, just let him be." Riku said, holding the coupon up to the light.

"Ow, don't be mean!" Demyx protested.

"I'm being frank, not--huh?" Riku halted his words and scrutinized the coupon more closely.

"What is it?" Sora asked, suddenly right beside Riku.

"Ack!" Both Riku and Demyx jumped--Demyx at Sora's disappearance, Riku at Sora's appearance. Regaining his composure, Riku gestured for the others to come closer. "This coupon…if you hold it up to the sun, you can see a hidden map."

"You're right…" Demyx said, taking the coupon from the teen in order to get a closer look.

"Oooh…'X' marks the spot. Is this a treasure map?" Sora asked bringing his finger to his lips.

Abandoning his search for the origin of the mysterious bowtie, Zexion approached the rest of the group. "Shall we see what this map points to?" he asked.

"Yay! Adventure time!" Sora cheered and danced to a happy little tune.

"According to this map, re need to climb beyond the waterfall, then follow the stream until we reach the…rock that looks like a steamboat."

"Why a steamboat?" Demyx pondered.

"Don't ask me." Zexion shrugged.

So, without further adieu, the group was on their way to an unknown treasure.

"What do you guys think this treasure is?" Demyx asked as they walked.

"I hope its lots and lots of chocolate!" Sora exclaimed.

"Let's hope not." Demyx said, shuddering as the remembered the last time the boy ate chocolate.

"I hope its something we can use to get away from this damn place." Riku said wistfully.

"That would be wonderful…" Demyx smiled. Then, he realized that Zexion had said nothing yet. "What about you, Zexion? What do you hope it is?"

"Hope is a meaningless state of being." The Nobody replied without taking his eyes off of the map.

"Oh, come on--you must have _something _that you want that treasure to be." Demyx pressed.

"First of all, I'm note even certain that the 'X' marks a treasure. It could be a trap--after all, we did get these coupons from Ansem and Imogene. Second, the only thing I want is to get off of this island, however, I doubt that our gracious hosts would be so careless as to leave a way of escape within our grasp." Zexion replied tonelessly.

--With Ansem and Imogene

"Hurry up with that popcorn, Imogene! I want to get the movie started already!" Ansem called in the direction of the kitchen.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." was the muted reply. The co-host bounded out of the kitchen, carrying two bowls of popcorn. Then, without warning, the girl did a faceplant on the floor, dropping the bowls and scattering the contents everywhere. Sitting up to find the culprit behind this dastardly surprise attack, she picked up a hair brush.

"Oh, I knew I should have put you back in the bathroom when I was done with you--how careless of me!" she scolded herself.

"Oh come on, I don't want to wait any longer!" Ansem said, pressing the play button on the remote (of destiny). Nothing happened. "Oh dratted cookie nuggets! It looks like I forgot to put new batteries in the remote--how careless of me!" Ansem said, furrowing his brows.

"It looks like we're just a couple of careless chickadees today!" Imogene laughed. Ansem joined in on her laughter, even though, really, it wasn't that funny.

--Back with team Destiny's Ninjas

"I guess you're right, Zexion. They aren't that careless." Demyx agreed.

"Look! It's the steamboat rock!" Sora pointed and ran up to hug it.

"Sora, that one is the steamboat rock," Riku sighed, pointing to a rock to Sora's left. "The one you're hugging now just looks like a yeti."

Sora let go, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "I-I knew that." he grinned, rubbing the back of his head.

"Where to from here?" Demyx asked.

"According to the map, there should be a secret passage underneath the boulder.

"Under the boulder? How are we supposed to move this thing?!" Riku exclaimed.

Zexion spoke up. "Obviously, that is not possible between the four of us. We might as well just go…back…"

The group turned to look at what Zexion was staring at.

"Look guys! I moved the boulder!" Sora said happily from beside the displaced rock.

"How did you manage that?!" Demyx yelped disbelievingly.

Zexion walked to the boulder and attempted to push it himself, however, it would not budge an inch. "Such a feat should be impossible for someone your size." he murmured.

"Well it was easy--I just asked it to move, and it moved." Sora shrugged.

"Ahm…Okay. Moving along, let's get going." Riku said, heading down the staircase revealed when the boulder was moved.

"It's so dark in here…" Sora whined as he attached himself to Riku's arm.

"D-don't you have anything to light the path up with?" Demyx asked, peering into the darkness., then a click and a light began shining in the form of Tinkerbell.

"Riku…do I even want to know why you have that?" Demyx asked, holding back laughter.

"I-it was in my prize bag from one of our last challenges!" Riku defended indignantly.

Utilizing the magical light of Tinkerbell, the team traveled the length of the tunnel, stumbling across the occasional discarded canister of shaving cream. Finally, they reached the end and ascended the staircase leading the ground above. Riku turned the toy light off and stowed it away in his pocket then waited for the others to emerge from the tunnel. Once they were all out, they took a good look around. Surrounding them were giant bunny idols.

"Bunnies!" Sora squealed.

"According to this, we should be at the spot of the 'X'" Zexion frowned. "But I don't see anything."

"Are you sure you're reading that thing right?" Demyx asked, taking the map and reexamining it.

"Of course." Zexion said bitingly.

"Shush!" Sora gestured with a finger to his lips. The group was silent, listening for whatever it was that Sora heard.

The sound of rustling bushes and footsteps reached their ears.

"Who's there?" Riku called out bravely.

From all around them, scraggly looking people wearing ragtag clothes and makeshift bunny ears emerged. They bowed to the idols as they passed them, then focused their attention on the wary castaways.

"What you doing here?" one of them asked, stopping a few feet away from them.

"We're looking for treasure." Sora explained.

"No treasure. Only bunny." the man insisted.

"Um…do you happen to know a way off this island?" Riku asked.

"Way off island?" the man repeated.

Demyx nodded encouragingly. "Do you know?"

The man looked to be deep in thought. "Bunny know." He turned around and walked back into the forest along with the other people from his group.

"Should we follow him?" Demyx asked uncertainly.

"We might as well." Zexion answered, already following the 'bunny' people.

They followed the silent people for a while, spotting the occasional cactus. The bunny people led the castaways to a shrine where, next to a large man wearing a cloak of dried grass and a headdress of feathers, sat a little white bunny. The man who guided team Destiny's Ninjas stepped forward and bowed. "Outsiders meet bunny--want truth."

The man, obviously their chief, looked to the bunny next to him. "They want to know, but are they worthy?"

The little bunny merely lifted its hind leg and scratched at its ear furiously.

The chief looked up and pointed to Sora. "He is the only worthy one."

"Yay! I'm worthy!" Sora cheered.

Another one of the bunny tribe came forward and gently pushed at Sora. "Come, met bunny. Hear truth." she encouraged, leading Sora up to the altar. The boy uneasily climbed the stairs and the chief conferred quietly with the boy.

"No fair." Demyx pouted. "I want to hear too."

"What do you think is up with these people?" Riku asked Zexion out of the corner of his mouth as he watched the bunny tribe stare at them as they stroked little handheld bunny mannequins.

"Perhaps they have not seen outsiders for a long time." the Nobody replied, equally discreet.

"What?!" Sora's startled outcry drowned out Riku's reply and caught his teammates attention. They boy had a slightly horrified expression on his face.

"What is it?" Riku called.

Before Sora could answer, the inhabitants of the bunny tribe broke out in a panic, and ran for the cover of the trees. Looking around for what had caused the chaos, Zexion spotted an approaching giant mecha.

"Ack! Since when has this story had giant robots?!" Demyx cried, jumping out of it's way.

"It's them!" Riku bellowed, pointing at Ansem and Imogene who were standing on the robot's shoulders.

"He knows!" Imogene shouted, pointing at Sora. Ansem pushed a large red button labeled emergency. The ground beneath the Keyblade Master opened up and the boy just barely leapt aside in time to avoid the net that flew out of it.

"It's the trapdoor!" Demyx squeaked.

"Come on Sora!" Riku called, rushing forward to grab his friend.

"Damn! I missed!" Ansem pouted, pushing the button repeatedly. Sora squealed and jumped aside avoiding the trapdoor as it continued trying to capture him into its dark abyss. As he maneuvered, Sora missed his mark by an inch, and lost his footing, causing his fall into the trapdoor.

"Sora! Hold on!" Riku called to the boy who was struggling to pull himself up. He ran up to the boy and grabbed a hold of his arm, pulling him up. A rope flew up from the depths of the trapdoor and wound itself around Sora's ankle, pulling him back down and yanking him out of Riku's grip.

"Soooorraaaaaa!" Riku cried.

The Keyblade Master yelled as he fell, but his voice became muffled as the door closed over him.

The bunny chief put his hand on Riku's shoulder, restraining him. "Run behind altar. Find secret path--follow toward truth! We distract!"

Riku bit his lip, wavering between trying to help his friend, and following the chief's advice.

"Come on! We can't stay or the trapdoor will get us too!" Demyx yelled, yanking at Riku's arm. Reluctantly, Riku followed Demyx and Zexion behind the altar, leaving the chaos behind. They spied what must be the secret path almost absorbed by the brush, and began following it.

"What do you think the chief told Sora that made Ansem and Imogene want to vote him off with out even a tribal council meeting?" Demyx asked suspiciously.

"I don't know, but it must have been something that we definitely aren't supposed to know." Zexion replied, thinking.

"I must be the worst friend in the world to leave him behind like that." Riku muttered.

"Don't start whining now." Zexion sighed, anticipating having to put up with the angsty teen.

Surprisingly, Riku didn't have a comeback for that. He had stopped and seemed to be listening. "You guys hear that? Is that you Sora?"

Demyx pat Riku on the shoulder. "I hate to point this out to you, but…not even Sora can escape the trapdoor.

"But I heard something!" Riku insisted stubbornly. The bushes rustled, silencing the boys.

"It could be the bunny tribe…" Demyx suggested quietly, but was shushed by the other two.

Out of the bushes came none other than the little white bunny. It fixed it's beady eyes on them, then continued on tis way.

"Let's follow it." Demyx suggested, taking off after the furry little bundle.

Zexion shrugged. "Eh, why not?"

The bunny led them to a little purple button built into a boulder with a small screen beneath it..

"What do you think the bunny wants us to do?" Demyx asked.

The bunny gestured toward the button.

"Look at the button? Well, it is a pretty button, but what does that have to do with anything?" the Melodious Nocturne asked.

The bunny smacked its forehead with its paw and squeaked. (Translation: Press the damn button!).

"Oh…_press the button. _Sorry, I kinda had a brain-dead moment there. He pressed the button and a 30 second timer began.

"Holy crap, please tell me that I didn't just doom us all." Demyx said with dread.

"We'll find that out in 24 more seconds." Zexion answered, crossing his arms and waiting.

Ther was a tense silence, broken only by the beeping of the timer.

"Get ready for it." Riku said as the timer reached 10 seconds.

"Squeak!" said the little bunny.

Demyx pushed his fingers in his ears and braced himself.

3...

2...

1...

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Haha! This is the first cliffhanger for this story! (I feel kinda evil)

Once again, **_review_**, or I will send the bunny tribe to your homes and make them steal all of your carrots--then having no carrots wll cause you to loose your eyesight! And without your sight, how will you read the final chapter(s) of this story? Muahahah!


	31. Reunification of the Chupacabras

I am mega sorry for the ultra long wait (trust me, it felt longer to me than it did for you). I have absolutely zero time to write these days, and not much inspiration. Really, what's keeping me going is the fact that this story is almost done. So wish me luck as I struggle to complete the final chapter. But for now, enjoy

**Note: The finale will be separated into 2 chapters, so this is part 1 of 2.**

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Last time on Kingdom Hearts Survivor:

_The bunny led them to a little purple button built into a boulder with a small screen beneath it._

_"What do you think the bunny wants us to do?" Demyx asked. The bunny gestured toward the button. "Look at the button? Well, it is a pretty button, but what does that have to do with anything?" the Melodious Nocturne asked. The bunny smacked its forehead with its paw and squeaked. (Translation: Press the damn button!). "Oh...press the button. Sorry, I kinda had a brain-dead moment there. He pressed the button and a 30 second timer began. "Holy crap, please tell me that I didn't just doom us all." Demyx said with dread._

_"We'll find that out in 24 more seconds." Zexion answered, crossing his arms and waiting. There was a tense silence, broken only by the beeping of the timer._

_"Get ready for it." Riku announced as the timer reached 10 seconds._

_"Squeak!" said the little bunny._

_Demyx pushed his fingers in his ears and braced himself._

_3..._

_2..._

_1..._

**Reunification of the Chupacabras**

The three castaways (plus one bunny) braced themselves--for what, they didn't know. The timer reached zero and a loud beep made the three of them jump. They waited several seconds, but nothing happened.

"Well that was pretty anticlimactic." Zexion stated.

"You mean I didn't inadvertently cause our deaths?" Demyx asked, nearly fainting with relief.

"That can't be it. I mean, it must have done something." Riku insisted. "Why would the bunny lead us for nothing?"

The bunny in question shrugged, then hopped into the brush, disappearing from sight.

"What should we do?" Demyx asked.

"Return to camp, I suppose." Zexion murmured.

"But how do we know Ansem won't be there waiting for us?" Demyx asked worriedly.

"They were after Sora because of what that chief told him. Hypothetically, no harm would befall us since we did not hear what Sora did." Zexion explained.

"Well, what if, hypothetically, you're wrong and Ansem is there waiting to send us all down that wretched trapdoor?!" Demyx asked, slightly panicked.

Before the two could attempt to calm the Nobody down, all three of them could feel the earth rumble and shake underneath their feet.

"What was that?" Demyx asked, even more alarmed now.

Zexion walked up to a nearby large collection of boulders that peaked above the trees and began to climb up it.

"What are you doing?" Riku questioned.

"I am attempting to get a better view of our surroundings so that I may determine the cause of that quake." the Nobody replied without skipping a beat.

"Good idea." Riku mused, following right behind them.

Demyx wavered for a second. "Oh Phooey! Wait for me!" he called.

Slowly, they made their way to the top of the boulders and were able to survey the surrounding area.

"Noting _appears _out of the ordinary…" Zexion said slowly. In fact, after the mayhem at the bunny tribe's hideout, the island seemed a little too quiet.

The ground quivered a second time and Demyx wobbled, his footing less stable than theirs. He grabbed on to the closest thing he could in order to keep his balance, which happened to be Zexion's hood. The Nobody gave a surprised jerk backwards, but held his ground even though the Melodious Nocturne's grip on his hood was choking him. After regaining his footing, he let go of the man's hood, grinning sheepishly upon seeing the glare Zexion was giving him.

"Guys! Look over there!" Riku exclaimed, calling the Nobodies attention to a plume of smoke coming from just north of where they were.

The teen agilely leapt down the rocks to the ground below. "I'm going to go check it out!" he announced.

"Wait--I'll come too." Zexion called, and hopped down equally as easily.

Demyx groaned as he slowly lowered himself down. "Why are you guys so frikin talented?" he demanded.

"Because we're super amazing like that." the two intoned while humming what sounded suspiciously like Shakira's "Hips Don't Lie".

Demyx reached the bottom and the three raced off in the direction of the disturbance. They passed the bunny tribe's lair, which had been abandoned--even the giant robot Ansem and Imogene were using up until not long ago was lying on its side without its operators.

"Where to from here?" Riku asked, surveying the collateral damage the area had incurred. Several of the bunny idols were missing their ears (and in the case of the little midget idol on the end, three legs and a tentacle).

"The smoke was coming from this direction." Zexion announced, following a set of footprints down a separate path.

Upon reaching the spot where the smoke had originated from, Zexion, Riku, and Demyx were treated to an odd sight. The tremors had revealed a large metal double door which had previously been covered by a variety of fines and plants. Ansem and Imogene were both pushing against the door with all of their might, seemingly trying to keep it shut.

"Imogene! If this door opens, say goodbye to your promotion!" Ansem shouted as the door gave a nasty jerk.

"Right-o sir! I promise on my honor that this door won't open!" Imogene piped up in a chipper voice.

"W-what's behind that door?" Demyx asked timidly.

"A magical portal to the realm of the living tissue boxes." Ansem answered with a grimace.

"Sir--I don't think I can hold this much longer!" Imogene yelled with alarm.

The three castaways looked on, waiting in suspense. Then, the banging on the doors ceased. Neither the hosts or the contestants said a word and the silence grew.

Bringing the quiet to a shattering end, the double doors flew open, tossing Ansem and Imogene aside without regard. With their opening, a cloud of dust obscured the newly breached entryway.

"Fresh air at last!" a voice shouted in triumph. The outline of a giant, furry, manlike creature emerged from the cloud.

"Aaaaah! It's the chupacabra!" Demyx squealed, terrified.

"Muhahahaha! That's right you fool! Now prepare for me to eat your brains!" the creature laughed in a gravely voice.

Demyx foamed at the mouth and collapsed in a faint.

"That was pretty mean, you know." a second voice said reprimandingly.

"Yeah, I know." the first voice chuckled.

"Say, how long is this dust going to cover us up?" a third, female voice asked.

"Sorry!" The dust apologized and retreated, revealing the true form of the 'chupacabra'…which was none other than Axel, the Flurry of Dancing Flames.

Riku gasped. "B-but you were voted off!" he exclaimed.

"Your point being?" Axel asked. The rest of the dust cleared, revealing the second and third voices to be Marluxia and Yuffie.

"You too?" Riku asked incredulously. The three ignored the flabbergasted teen and walked back toward the double doors.

"Is he alright in there?" Axel called.

"He's fine, just unconscious." replied a voice that sounded like Aerith.

"Sheesh, figures. That's what he's best at." Axel scoffed. "Though he did come in handy as a battering ram with that thick skull of his." the pyro added as an afterthought.

"Let me through!" a hoarse voice commanded, and the three were shoved away from the door as Merlin the wizard came outside (looking quite worse for the wear). The elderly man reached his arms into the sky. "Thank the heavens! I thought I'd never see a blue sky again!" he cried with joy.

Demyx had revived and was looking around dazedly. "Axel? Marluxia? Yuffie? Merlin?" he looked quite confused, then turned to Riku and asked quite seriously, "Have I died and gone to heaven?"

"Nope. They're really here." the teen answered, as if he himself was still having trouble believing it.

Zexion had gotten over his surprise fairly quickly and his mind was already spinning with hypotheses. "I do not wish to be kept in the dark any longer--how did you come to get here?" he asked, fixing his eyes on Axel for an explanation.

"Hold that thought--let's wait until everyone gets out." Axel walked back inside the trapdoors and helped to haul the unconscious body of Xaldin outside. And from beyond the shadows of the doors emerged every single castaway that had been voted off: Vexen, Sephiroth, Kairi, Xigbar, Luxord, Cloud, Larxene, Lexaeus, Aerith, Saix, Cid, Leon, Xemnas, and finally, Sora.

"Sora!" Riku cried joyously, running to meet his friend in slow motion.

Sora's eyes lit up. "Riku!" he called, running to meet up with Riku (also running in slow motion).

"Sora!"

"Riku!"

"Sora!" Riku spread his arms, ready to accept Sora in a happy-bestest-friends-in-the-world-reunited-hug.

"Riku! How've you been?" Sora said upon reaching the silver haired teen, and instead of indulging Riku in his man hug, he offered his hand for a handshake.

Riku, too dumbfounded at being denied his hug, could only grasp the younger boy's hand and shake it. Then Sora continued on his slow motion run toward Zexion. "Zexy!!!" he called, reaching the Nobody and throwing his arms around him in a bone crushing hug.

"Oh fudge! Why am I denied so?" Riku broke down and began to cry, where he was comforted by Kairi.

"Can't…breathe." Zexion managed to say. Sora blinked and let go of the Nobody, grinning in embarrassment. "Do not even think to attempt that again." the stoic man warned.

Meanwhile, Larxene was busy laughing her head off. "It feels good to be back!" she yelled as Larxene haters across the universe booed at their computer screens and threw rotten tomatoes at them (then cursed themselves because now they would have to clean the mess up).

Once everyone was done celebrating their new-found freedom, Zexion sat them all down to hear their explanation.

"Where to begin…?" Axel pondered aloud.

"How about where you go after you fall through the trapdoor?" Zexion suggested.

"Alrighty then. Well, once the thing swallows you up, you fall through a bunch of shoots until you land on top of a mattress that cushions your landing"

"Correction--that is _supposed _to cushion your landing." Vexen sniffed indignantly.

"Yeah--poor Vexen here missed the mattress entirely and landed in a pile of banana peels." Axel noted.

"My back still hasn't recovered!" the scientist added, and his back popped a few times, as if a testament to his words.

"Anyway, you come out into this huge room with dozens of cubicles in it. That was when I learned the truth about this island and the nature of the Survivor competition." Axel paused for dramatic effect. "Disney was taking the losers of the game and forcing them to animate crappy Disney movie sequels!" he revealed.

Demyx gasped. "Crappy Disney Sequels?! Oh, the humanity!"

"Yeah--it's all a devious plot by Disney to take over Square Enix and all of its characters." Yuffie added, wide-eyed.

"Nooo!" came a strangled cry. Startled, the group turned around to see Ansem stumble out from under some debris from the opening of the steel doors, covered in dust from head to toe. "It is forbidden to know the secret!" he screeched. He made his way to Imogene's unconscious figure shakily. "Get up and help me apprehend these buffoons!' he yelled, kicking her. She groaned, but didn't budge. "Useless!" he crowed.

"Now you were gonna apprehend who?" Axel asked, advancing on the older man and cracking his knuckles.

"You appear to be quite outnumbered." Luxord commented, flanking the redhead, along with Lexaeus, Xigbar and Saix. Ansem took a terrified half step back as they approached.

"Is it true? Does Disney really want to take over Square Enix?" Riku asked the host.

"And don't think of lying. As my buddy Luxord pointed out, we outnumber you 22:1." Axel reminded the man.

"It's true." Ansem growled reluctantly.

"But why? You're a Square Enix character too, so what about you?" Demyx asked.

"It is my Destiny to join the ranks of the almighty Disney corporation and make millions of dollars in order to ensure my easy retirement. Once I'm a millionaire, then, and only then, ill I be able to spend the rest of my days converting people to Destinyism." Ansem ranted with a vivacious spark in his eyes.

"What's that?" Cid asked.

"Why, it is the religion that worships Destiny--what else would it be?"

"Of _course _that's what it is." Xemnas scoffed with an expression that clearly said that they should have known.

"Don't you patronize me! I will--h-hey! Let go of me!" Ansem yelled in alarm as Lexaeus restrained the man using his muscular arms of meanness. He struggled in an attempt to free himself, but to no avail. The ruckus the man was making finally woke the unconscious Imogene. She sat up and rubbed her head in a daze.

"What happened?" she muttered.

Ansem decided to act, and called out to the girl. "Quick! They've escaped! We mustn't let them leave!"

Alert now, she sprang to her feet and pulled out a small communicator. "All units! Secure the island!" she shouted into it.

"Roger that." came the reply.

"Damn it!" Larxene cursed, wrenching the communicator out of Imogene's grip, throwing it down on the ground and crushing it with her heel.

"Now how are we going to escape with security on guard?!" Kairi cried, pulling out chunks of her hair.

"Quit panicking you little twit!" Larxene commanded, smacking the girl over the head and ignoring her cry of protest. The Savage Nymph marched up to Imogene and held one of her knives to her neck. "Now. How's about you call off your little flunkies and I won't slash your jugular wide open." she spoke in a falsely polite tone that was Larxene at her most dangerous.

"What makes you think I'm afraid of you?" the woman's hostage asked cheekily.

Larxene smirked and nicked the girl's neck, drawing a small trickle of blood. "Go ahead. Tempt me some more, please."

"Alrighty then--I'd have to say that I'm afraid of you." Imogene chuckled uneasily, beads of sweat breaking out on her face.

"Now, about my suggestion…" Larxene prompted.

"Oh, that…Mmm, no thanks. I don't think I will."

"What?! Care to reconsider that, little girl?"

"Nope."

"Fine then. Give me one good reason I shouldn't end you miserable life this instant."

"Stop! Unreasonable killing isn't going to get us anywhere!" Aerith protested.

"Shut up you ninny, I'm not in the mood!" Larxene snapped.

"I'd listen to pinky over there, if I were you; she's really quite smart. Besides, if you killed me now, then you wouldn't hear what I have to offer."

"And just what is it that you offer?" Luxord asked.

"Don't tell me you're buying into her load of bull."

"We have the advantage here. What can we possible loose by hearing her out?" Luxord rationalized. Larxene scowled then turned to her hostage.

"Talk!"

"I propose a challenge. One final test to see who wins Survivor: Malaguapu Island. Once the winner is crowned, I will reveal the secret security deactivation code that only I know and free you from this island. Otherwise, I won't say a word and die along with your only chance of escape."

"We accept the challenge." Luxord consented with only a moment of thought.

"Wonderful! Now that we've got that settled," Imogene gently pushed Larxene's knife away from her neck. "Meet us at the north most beach in one hour. There we will begin the next challenge." The girl began to walk away.

"What about me?!" Ansem demanded, still being held down by Lexaeus.

"Oh yeah…He comes with me. After all, he _is _the host." Imogene turned back, waiting expectantly for him. Ansem pried Lexaeus' arms off him and went to follow Imogene.

"Wait a second! How do we know you'll stick to your word?" Xigbar demanded.

"Um…" Imogene scratched her chin. "Hey, Ansem--give it to them." she said to the host.

"What?! No way!" the man protested, suddenly clutching his pocket in terror.

"Do it or I will see to it that you are stalked by vicious salamanders for the rest of your life."

Ansem bit his lip, then reached into his pocket, producing a little flashlight. He handed it off to Riku, who took it uncertainly. "Take good care of my baby." he said tearfully, then went to follow Imogene.

"That flashlight is special to Ansem here, and upon completing the challenge, you will return it to him." Imogene commanded and grabbed Ansem, dragging him away.

"I wonder why this flashlight is so special to him?" Demyx plucked the flashlight out of Riku's hands. He turned it on and pointed it at his gloved hand. Instead of a beam of round light appearing, the light spelled out 'Destiny'.

The entire group smacked their heads simultaneously while mentally screaming, _"What the heck is up with Ansem and his Destiny fetish?!"

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_

Sorry about the loss of random at the end there, but this chapter was mostly setting up for the finale. And be forewarned: I intend to pack every bit of random I've been saving over the past year or so I've been writing this story into the last chapter.

Fyi: I got the idea for Disney sequels around chapter 17--I was writing and all of a sudden, I saw in my mind's eye, Axel reveal the evil plot, then Demyx gasp and say, 'oh the humanity!', and I knew right then and there that an idea was born.

**Review please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	32. The Finale Insert Random Phrase Here

Yeah, once again, sorry this took so long, but I was having computer issues, plus this chapter is more than twice as long as one of my average chapters...

I'll put what I have to say at the end of the chappie--for now, enjoy the LAST CHAPTER of Kingdom Hearts Malaguapu Island!

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**

The Finale (Insert Random Phrase Here)

After watching Ansem and Imogene leave to prepare for the upcoming challenge, the group of people stood around for approximately 34 seconds before Zexion turned around and began walking away.

"Where are you going?!" Sora asked, eagerly following the Nobody.

"I am returning to camp to retrieve some supplies." he responded.

"Good idea." Riku commented, following the stoic man.

"Hold it!" Xemnas shouted, halting them in their tracks. "We should come up with a plan of action if we want to get off this island." he explained.

"We can do that while walking." Zexion replied, sounding a bit annoyed at his purposeful exit being interrupted.

"Er, right."

Xemnas, along with the rest of the group, began the walk back to the campsite.

"Hey, that crazy biatch said that this would be a challenge, so won't we all be competin' against each other?" Cid asked.

"I don't wanna fight my friends." Kairi whined. At a well-placed cough by Xigbar caught her attention. "Right--or you guys." she added for the Organization members.

"I could hear your inner turmoil about that." Saix said sarcastically.

"Either way, whether we like it or not, one of us is gonna have to win this challenge." Axel shrugged.

"So…who's it gonna be?" Yuffie asked hesitantly, looking around at the group.

At that moment, Xaldin, who had been unconscious in Sephiroth's arms, woke up. As he looked around in confusion, Sephiroth noticed that the Nobody was awake. Without any qualms, the silver haired man dropped Xaldin, who fell to the floor with an "Ooof!". Oblivious to the tension in the air, he asked, "What'd I miss?"

He was ignored.

"Anyway, I honestly don't give a damn about who wins. I just want to get home." Kairi said, her longing for her stepmother's home cooked enchiladas obvious.

"Yeah, well you don't have what it takes even if you wanted to win. _I'm _gonna be the one to walk away with the million." Larxene said, grinning savagely.

"Look, can we just not talk about who wins and focus on surviving whatever Ansem and Imogene have in store for us?" Demyx pleaded.

"Kid's got a point. I don't recon it'll be any help for us to be fightin' with each other." Cid said while idly chewing on the end of a blade of grass. Larxene sneered, but argued no further.

They reached the camp and began scavenging any and all items that they might be able to use.

"I'm ready…" Sora began while tying his faithful Bob the Builder blanket around his neck, "for one last battle as a defender of justice!" The boy struck a pose and his blanket cape fluttered in the wind.

"Hey kid, can I join your team as a sidekick?" Axel asked just to humor the boy.

Sora frowned. "Riku told me not to hang around with you because you're a 'bad influence'." he said and walked away while opening a bag of corn nuts to feed to the local squirrels.

Axel's mouth dropped open in indignation. Stomping over to Riku, he yanked the teen around by the shoulder to turn him towards himself and asked, "Why did you tell Sora not to hang out with me?!"

Riku retained his cool as he replied, "Because, like I said, you're a bad influence and I didn't want Sora to develop a love for burning things." The silver haired teen raised an eyebrow upon seeing that Axel had stopped paying attention to him in order to light a sock on fire. The Nobody giggled with mirth as it shriveled up, then realized he was being watched. Dropping what remained of the fried sock, he cleared his throat.

"Y-yeah? Well your face likes to burn things! Ohhh, burn!"

Riku rolled his eyes. "Reason number two--I didn't want him to get in the habit of being a jerk."

"What are you, his mommy?" the redhead sneered.

"Of course not!" Riku shouted defensively, apparently flustered.

--Flashback--

"Sora, don't lick that! You'll contract AIDS!" a nine year-old Riku exclaimed as an eight year-old Sora froze, about to put his tongue to a plant leaf.

"What are you, his mom?" Tidus laughed as he walked by them.

--Flashback #2--

Riku (still 9) was carrying a half-asleep Sora (still 8) back to his house. As he tucked him in his bed, he couldn't resist singing his younger friend a lullaby.

"Rock-a-by Sora, on the treetop, when the Heartless come, you'll beat them right up--"

From the doorway, Sora's mom giggled. "What are you, his mom?"

"Aaaah! Why does everyone always pick on me?!" Riku sobbed and dashed out of the room, shoving past Sora's mom in the process.

"Don't forget that you two have a play date this Saturday!" the woman called after Riku as he slammed the front door. "What a funny kid." Sora's mom said to herself with a smile.

--End Flashbacks--

"Geez, take it easy. I was just joking." Axel chuckled. "Or was I?" he added ambiguously as he walked away.

"Has anyone seen my other sock?" Yuffie wailed in distress.

"I think Riku had it." Axel lied easily.

"Riku? What on earth is he doing with my sock?" Yuffie asked, bewildered.

"You guys really don't have much for us to work with." Leon commented as he watched Demyx sift through a pile of prizes they had acquired through their various challenges.

"That's not our fault!" Demyx protested as he tossed aside a pair of bowling shoes and a thermostat.

"We don't have time to worry about our lack of materials--we've got to leave for the beach now." Saix announced.

Without further adieu, the group made their way to the north-most beach, prepared for an ultra intense battle for freedom and democracy (minus the democracy).

"I see you didn't end up chickening out." Imogene said insolently as they arrived.

"Your mom's a chicken!" Axel shot back snidely.

"Really? Well, that _would _explain a lot of things…" the girl murmured.

"What's with all of the mom jokes?" Vexen asked no one in particular. "They are so childish."

"So, what is our final challenge going to be?" Zexion inquired, getting straight to the point.

"I'm glad you asked." the girl smirked. "The next challenge is--" she was interrupted by Ansem tugging on her sleeve and murmuring something to her. Imogene sighed, exasperated. "For the last time, no, Ansem! You can't have that stupid flashlight back until the challenge is over." Ansem sniffed, dejected.

"Anyway, the final challenge will be an _extreme _obstacle course!" Imogene revealed, spreading her arms wide and laughing manically. ("Hm, I do tend to laugh manically a lot, don't I?" she pondered to herself)

"The -sniff- first one to the flagpole at the end of the course wins the one million prize and -sniff- the opportunity to leave the island, along with your teammates." Imogene rolled her eyes at Ansem's soppy behavior.

"What a crybaby." she scoffed. "But anyway, he's right. Now what are y'all waiting for? Get a move on!" she exclaimed, pointing at a nearby path emphatically.

With the grace of a thousand golden giraffes, the group was off and running.

"Well, at least there's nothing out of the ordinary." Kairi said optimistically, as if tempting the fates.

Alas, the girl had spoken too soon, for no sooner had the words left her mouth, the ground beneath their feet opened. ("What? We were tempted." the fates explained with shrugs) With a collective yell, everyone fell in to the pit below, half sinking into a pool of sand that was the floor.

"Eck! I've got sand in my clothes!" Larxene complained.

"There's a door right over there!" Cloud shouted. The castaways began scrambling towards it, fighting the sand. Leon was the first to make his way out of the sand and stood on the door's edge, helping his fellow teammates out of the pit. Aerith was the last one out of the pit and as Leon took her hand, she let out a yell befitting an Amazonian woman and swung the surprised man over her head, tossing him back into the sand pit.

"What the hell was that?!" Leon exclaimed, spitting sand out of his mouth.

"Oops. Sorry Squall! It's a reflex!" Aerith apologized and ran off to follow the others.

"That's Leon!" the man corrected with a shout as he began the struggle to reach the door all over again.

Meanwhile, somewhere in a desert, a little turtle discovered that he had the power to change the world if he just believed.

Back on the island, the group had reached a road block. The underground passage had brought them to a giant steel door. A giant _closed and locked _steel door. Xigbar kicked it repeatedly, but the door wouldn't budge an inch.

"I believe that may be the lock up there." Zexion said, pointing up near the top of the door where a small button protruded from the wall. (it was conveniently tagged with a large blinking neon sign that read 'push to open'.)

"But there's no way we could reach that." Marluxia reasoned. "It's way too high up."

"Damnit! We can't loose here!" Xemnas yelled in frustration.

"What if we never get past this door and we're trapped here forever?! Sora cried. "Think of all the things I'll never see again! No more chocolate, no more assorted fruit candies, no more donuts--"

"That's it!" Xigbar exclaimed, a light bulb lighting up above his head. He turned to Yuffie. "Yuffie, can you use your powers as the head of the National Federation of Donut Worshipers to summon some donuts to hit the switch with?"

Yuffie's eyes had bulged at the mention of donuts. "So round…and…sugary!" she squeaked in terror.

"Get a hold of yourself! Either you get over your silly fear of donuts, or we stay here trapped forever! Take your pick!" Vexen yelled, shaking the girl by the shoulders for punctuation.

Yuffie bit her lip and wrung her hands nervously, trying to gather her wits. Finally, she stepped forward. "Alright. I'll give it a try." The ninja girl closed her eyes in concentration and raised her hands toward the ceiling. "Oh Deity of Donuts! Bring us your sugar-filled salvation!" she chanted. Slowly but surely, a small grayish cloud formed and it began to rain…leeks. Everyone stared blankly as the stick-like vegetables fell from the cloud.

"Leeks?" Demyx muttered questioningly, picking one up.

"Um…I think you missed the mark a bit." Cid deadpanned.

"Try again!" Xemnas demanded.

"Right! Um, er…Send us some donuts, my sugar-licious!" Yuffie called. New clouds formed and freshly baked bread rolls began falling.

"Do these look like donuts?!" Xemnas asked, slapping Yuffie across the face with one of the rolls.

"Ack! I'm trying! I'm trying!" the girl sobbed. She attempted a third time, the clouds formed once again and this time, bagels began to fall. "Damn it!" The girl yelled in frustration.

"Bagels? Eh, close enough." Xemnas shrugged.

"Youch! These things are hard!" Axel complained when one struck his head. One of the incredibly hard bagels in question hit the lock button dead on and it beeped. The team cheered as the large door began to open.  
"This is pretty pimpin." Lexaeus said out of nowhere.

"Follow me, brave warriors!" Sora called as he marched through the door and into the darkness beyond.

"Even when we're fighting for our freedom, he can't act serious." Vexen sighed.

As they walked through the door, the shaft ahead of them became illuminated as ceiling lights flickered to life. The passage was cold and the walls were reinforced with steel.

"Anyone else feeling claustrophobic?" Kairi asked, gulping.

"Fearing enclosed spaces is for wimps." Merlin scoffed.

"What did you say old man?!" Kairi rounded on the wizard.

"You heard me!"

"Why don't you say that to my face?!"

"Kiss my wrinkly old bum!"

"Gag me with a spoon!"

"Ladies, please! Let's try and keep the peace for the good of the team!" Xigbar intervened.

"Ladies?!" Merlin blurted indignantly, then began mumbling incoherently.

"What a bunch of buffoons." Sephiroth leered, rolling his eyes.

"Those are my friends you're talking about." Cloud glared warningly at the silver haired man.

"Surely you can do better than them."

"I probably could, but that's not the point!"

The two met, the clash from their swords echoing throughout the corridor.

Xigbar sighed. "Ladies, please!" The Freelance Shooter shut up as he saw the glares the two directed at him. "Have a good fight!" he finished lamely with a chuckle. The rest of the group decided to just leave the two fighting titans behind as they continued toward the exit.

Gradually, the corridor widened until it led to eleven separate passageways. "Which should we take?" Riku asked.

Before anyone could suggest a route, the floor buckled then began to bounce up and down violently. There were several startled yelps and chaos ensued. In an attempt to escape the lurching floor, there was a mad dash toward the eleven exits. However, as soon as two people entered one of the exits, a gate closed over the entrance, barring entrance for anyone else. Once everyone was in one of the eleven entrances, the floor stopped shaking.

"Ack! What the living crap?!" Xigbar exclaimed, tugging at the bars futilely.

"It seems the purpose of this was to split us up." came Zexion's voice, echoing from the corridor he was trapped in.

"What do we do now?" Demyx asked.

"We simply continue on and hope we met up later." Zexion replied, and his footsteps could be heard getting farther and farther away.

"Good luck everyone!" Sora cheered.

The castaways were split up as follows: Sora and Vexen (Vexen: Noooo!), Zexion and Axel, Riku and Marluxia, Demyx and Xaldin, Cid and Aerith, Xigbar and Leon, Merlin and Yuffie, Kairi and Xemnas, Larxene and Lexaeus, and finally, Luxord and Saix.

"Aren't we lucky to have some quality bonding time?" A cheery Sora asked a not so cheery Vexen.

The Nobody groaned. "Just shut up, will you?"

Seemingly impervious to Vexen's bad mood, Sora grinned and began reminiscing. "Do you remember that time when we went looking for food together and I got lost? It seemed like one minute you were there, and the next, you were gone! (I suspect nargles). Then, when I went looking for you, I almost fell into a pit of poisonous snakes! But luckily, I spotted you behind a nearby tree with a shovel and turned away from the pit just in time! Gee Vexen, you're such a good friend. I could have died out there!"

"What a shame." Vexen muttered sarcastically.

"Hey--do you wanna sing some friendship songs? I know a few like, Swinging in the Sunset of our Playhouse, and Dancing Through Meadows of Marigolds." Sora beamed at the man.

"For the last time, shut up!" Vexen roared, turning on the boy.

Sora put his finger to his lip innocently. "Those are some awful big teeth you have there, mister."

In response, Vexen simply walked up to the wall and began banging his head. Sora watched on in confusion.

Meanwhile, Cloud and Sephiroth (both spotting a few lumps as proof of their fight) had reached the eleven separate passage entrances, ten of which were gated shut where their comrades had gone through. They both stared at the remaining door silently, coming to the same conclusion. Sephiroth, though, was the one to say it aloud.

"It seems we are to enter that last corridor as a team."

Cloud's eye twitched, mentally cursing his fate. And the two walked in through the door. At least, they tried to walk through the door; before entering they got into another scuffle, this time over who would be the first to go inside.

With Demyx and Xaldin…"Hey look! An exit!" Demyx shouted in excitement and began to run toward the light (No 'don't run into the light' jokes here--sorry). As he emerged, the felt his foot sink into the ground, then get propelled upward. He was so startled at loosing solid footing, that he lost his balance and fell forward.

Xaldin wordlessly followed Demyx out and tested the ground more cautiously than his teammate. Finding it bouncy, he bounced a little bit and murmured, "Bouncy." with a small, creepy-looking smile.

Demyx scrambled to his feet and examined the floor. "A trampoline?" he pondered aloud.

The corridor had opened up into a forest, only the eleven passageways were still separated by cage bars that extended to the top of the canopy of the trees. The entire floor was one large trampoline.

"Woho!" Demyx looked around for the source of the exclamation and spotted Sora, who had obviously discovered the bouncy floor, jumping up and down and gaining altitude with each leap.

"Quit shaking the floor you nimrod!" Vexen yelled, clinging to the bars on the side in order to keep himself upright.

In another lane, Axel had also discovered the joys of the trampoline floor and was calling excitedly to Zexion. "Come on and join me! It's fun!" Zexion stared at the floor, perched on the last few inches of solid ground there was, eye twitching as he no doubt imagined how foolish he would look hopping around on a trampoline. In the end, though, his stony will and need to leave the island gave him the strength to step onto the trampoline.

"What kind of challenge forces us to bounce on a trampoline like children?" Saix growled in frustration as he lost shreds of his manly-hood.

"Sora! Riku called out in alarm, running up to the bars that separated his and Sora's lanes. "Don't jump so much! In case you haven't noticed, this trampoline is above a crocodile infested river!"

"Hahaha! Fear us!" laughed the crocodiles.

"Let's quit wasting time and get going." Leon reminded the group as he leapt ahead.

Following his lead, the rest of the castaways bounced toward the net that awaited at the end of the lane. Axel was the first to land on the net. Looking around, he spotted the rope he was supposed to use to climb down. So, getting to work, he made his way down to a small platform about two stories down. The platform was situated a few inches above the river and next to it was a small duck-shaped paddle boat.

As Kairi worked her way down her own rope, she complained, "Ow! I'm getting rope burn!".

"You're gettin' rape burn?" Cid asked in confusion, having misheard her.

"Kairi's getting date raped?!" Sora yelped, also having misheard. Turning toward her waiting partner, he scolded, "Xemnas, you're a bad, bad man!"

"What?!" Xemnas cried indignantly as he prepared to follow Kairi down the rope. Suddenly, every single one of the ropes broke off, stranding one person from each of the ten pairs on the net above.

"What the--how are we supposed to get down?!" Yuffie cried in panic.

"Jump into my arms!" Merlin called to her.

"You sure I won't break your back?" the girl called back uncertainly.

"No, but it's worth a shot!" Merlin replied.

"Okay." Yuffie steadied herself, took aim and jumped. Merlin caught her, but then the both of them collapsed in a heap on the small platform.

"Ow…" the old wizard grumbled. "I think I broke my ankle."

Yuffie scrambled off of him and began frantically apologizing. "I'll have to carry you." she concluded decisively.

The other pairs had watched Yuffie and Merlin, and came to the same conclusion that they had.

"Catch me!" Larxene commanded of Lexaeus as she leapt and landed without a hitch in the Nobody's muscled arms. The rest of the pairs leapt down to join their partners and proceeded to climb into the duck-shaped paddle boats. The only person left to make the jump was Zexion.

"Come on Zexy!" Axel called impatiently, "We're gonna get left behind!"

Zexion merely looked down in disdain at the thought of Axel catching him bridal-style. "Are you sure there isn't enough room for me to land on my feet?" he asked.

Axel sighed, then tried a more reassuring approach. "Just jump into my arms--you'll be as safe as if you were in you own mother's arms."

"My mother was a drug addict." Zexion retorted.

"Okay, bad example. You'll be as safe as if you were in your dad's arms."

"My father was a mafia boss."

"Er--your aunt's arms?"

"She was a babysitter."

"Good! Then pretend I'm your aunt!" Axel insisted.

"Then she became a serial killer." Zexion finished.

Axel's eye twitched. "Damn it Zexion, just jump!"

Zexion resigned himself and jumped into the pyro's arms safely. As the two were climbing into the paddle boat, Axel commented, "Y'know Zexion? You really have one messed up family."

Zexion nodded. "I am well aware of that."

Meanwhile, with Cloud and Sephiroth…the pair had finally emerged from the tunnel and into the trampoline cage field.

"What kind of crap is this?!" Sephiroth demanded, glaring at the bouncy floor.

"Only a real man jumps on trampolines." Cloud taunted as he jumped ahead. (AN: Not true, but I can't think of any better banter at the moment).

"Well what does that make you? Racist?" Sephiroth countered.

"That doesn't even make any sense!" Cloud shouted as, once again, the two got into another fight. Unfortunately for them, the floor couldn't put up with the abuse and it ripped open, plunging the two into the crocodile infested waters below.

At the moment, Larxene and Lexaeus were leading the pack of paddle boats traveling down the river.

"Hey, do you guys hear that roaring sound?" Riku asked.

"Axel, let's start looking for somewhere to dock--fast." Zexion instructed seriously, having been struck with realization.

"What's going on?" Kairi asked in alarm.

"Holy mother of biscuits! It's a waterfall!" Demyx screamed. There was, in fact, a large waterfall up ahead, and the castaways were heading straight for it and picking up speed.

"Look! There's a platform up ahead!" Xemnas pointed out as he and Kairi began to steer towards it.

"There's nowhere to dock!" Kairi moaned.

"We'll just have to jump as we pass by and hope we don't miss." Xemnas concluded grimly. As the doomed little duck boat approached the large platform, Kairi and Xemnas jumped and landed successfully. Larxene and Lexaeus weren't quiet so fortunate; their puny paddle boat had already passed the platform by.

"Paddle, damn it, paddle!" Larxene screeched, sounding panicked as they got closer and closer to the waterfall's edge. "I-won't-go-down-like-this!" she punctuated each word with an extra strong paddle. It turned out that their efforts were in vain and the boat tumbled backward. "Not this waaaaaay!" were the last words out of the woman's mouth before she tumbled out of sight (Lexaeus had no last words--he was seen sucking his thumb).

The rest of the castaways had successfully made it to the platform and watched as their boats were carried away with the falling water.

"Where do you suppose we go from here?" Luxord asked no on in particular. As if in answer to the gambler's question, a series of platforms rose out of the water, leading to shore.

"That was pretty convenient." Luxord amended and they began jumping from platform to platform.

"Merlin…you know, for an old man you're pretty heavy." Yuffie grunted as she completed another landing.

"Yeah yeah, just make sure you hold on to me tightly." the old man said nonchalantly.

"Oo-oo-ee-ee!" bellowed a man wearing nothing but a loincloth. He rode by them, using a hippo as a surfboard.

"Tarzan!" Sora exclaimed in surprise. "What are you doing here?!"

"Sora? How do you know this…man?" Kairi asked suspiciously, dissecting the ape-man's questionable appearance.

"I met him about a year ago and we had this crazy party with his girlfriend and some gorillas."

Kairi's expression twisted to one of horror as she no doubt imagined all sorts of disturbing things. Grabbing Sora by the shoulders and shaking him, she sobbed, "My poor innocent Sora hath been defiled! Oh, my love!"

"Get your mind out of the gutter Kairi. I'm sure he didn't do anything too crazy." Riku admonished.

Kairi sniffed then took a look at Sora's clueless expression. "Oh, Riku, you're right. He's still the same old angel." she mumbled as she hugged the Keyblade Master.

"Oh, get a room!" Xemnas yelled.

"Shut up! Just because you're jealous doesn't mean you have to ruin the mood." Kairi said scathingly.

Tarzan waved his arms around wildly, shouting more gorilla nonsense.

"What's that Tarzan? Timmy fell into the well?!" Sora gasped. Tarzan smacked his forehead in frustration at not being understood. Suddenly, his hippo blew a tire and careened out of control before crashing into a large rock, exploding on contact.

"It was nice seeing you again!" Sora waved in the direction of the plume of smoke.

"How can someone be so…" Leon trailed off with a sigh, massaging the bridge of his nose.

"We've got a problem guys." Demyx announced. The water between the last platform and dry land was crowded with hungry looking crocodiles.

"You guys look like you could use some help!" exclaimed a random old lady from the shore.

"Yes! That would be so lovely!" Aerith replied.

"Alright! Just you wait right there and I'll--oof!" the woman had turned to leave and caught her foot on a root, resulting in her doing a faceplant on the ground. "Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!" she blubbered.

"YOU were supposed to help US!" Vexen retorted angrily.

"It looks like we'll have to save ourselves." Marluxia said, biting his fingernails nervously.

"Yuffie. Why don't you try once more to summon some donuts to distract the crocodiles with?" Saix suggested.

"I'm pretty sure crocodiles don't eat--" Yuffie began.

"Just do it." the blue haired man glared at her.

"Meep! Alright, alright." she squeaked, intimidated. The girl set Merlin down gently and gathered her concentration for a repeat performance. "Oh great donut deity in the sky! Rain down upon us you donut children!" Magical clouds appeared and amazingly enough, actual donuts began to fall. Yuffie blinked, then jumped up in a cheer. "Yeah! I did it! I finally managed to summon donuts!"

The plopping of donuts in the water attracted the attention of the crocodiles and they swam toward the pastries. With the reptiles distracted, the group managed to make their way across the land. Behind them, the crocodiles spat the donuts out in disgust.

"These are filled with broccoli custard!" one of them roared.

"Hehe, oops. Guess I'm still not up to snuff. Sorry about that!" Yuffie called apologetically as they ran away from the river bank and back into the jungle.

"Ugh, I'm getting sunburn." Luxord complained as they followed the path uphill.

"Rub mud on your skin." Marluxia advised (sporting a mud mask of his own). "It'll cool down your skin and also make it much smoother."

"Uh…no. I think I'll keep my dignity."

"Dignity's got nothing to do with it." Marluxia frowned.

"So says the flower man." Luxord muttered under his breath. Marluxia opened his mouth to make a comeback, but a small object crashed into his face, hitting him between his eyebrows.

"Owie!" he cried, clutching his forehead. "What the heck was that?"

Stooping down, Riku picked up the object that was the perpetrator of the attack and examined it. "It's…it's a bouncy ball?"

"Oh sweet mother of corn flakes!" Xigbar shouted as small cannons emerged from the trees around them.

"Run!" Xemnas squealed as he zoomed away. The cannons began to rapidly fire the small rubber bouncy balls at the defenseless castaways.

"Don't we have anything in our arsenal that could help us?" Luxord demanded.

"No, we don't have anything!" Demyx cried, searching through his pockets and tossing out stacks of pokemon cards.

There were numerous yelps of pain from the group as they fled the scene and were struck with the rubber balls. Xaldin, who had been running in front of Demyx, was suddenly struck on the head with several of the ricocheting balls at once, and lost consciousness. Demyx stopped, uneasy. "We can't just leave him like this, guys!"

"Yes we can!" Cid said as he ran past without stopping to help. Demyx pouted, then hauled Xigbar over his shoulders with a grunt before following the others.

"There's shelter over there!" Axel shouted, seeing a door through the haze of rubber.

"Why do I have the feeling that wherever that door leads isn't good?" Vexen muttered, wincing as one of the rubber balls struck his arm.

"I'm willing to take my chances." Axel replied, dodging a few balls and throwing the door open, running inside for cover.

"Wait for me!" Sora called, following the redhead. Faced with the choice between being battered by bouncy balls or taking shelter inside a doorway leading to the unknown, the castaways chose the former option. Cid was the last one inside and he slammed the door shut behind him. They spent a few minutes tending to their bruises, then started walking down the corridor.

Eventually, they entered a giant chamber, with the exit on the opposite side of the room. Behind them, the corridor they had come through suddenly sealed itself shut with a beep.

"I've got a bad feeling." Kairi murmured with a sense of foreboding. A feminine mechanized voice emanated from a speaker at the top of the chamber. "Activating anti-gravity chamber protocol 0102: Weightless mode initiation in 3, 2, 1." At the end of the countdown, the gravity of the chamber was reduced, and everyone was lifted off of the ground like balloons.

"Whee! I'm an astronaut!" Sora called to Riku and Kairi as he spun past them in the air.

"This is so cool!" Axel laughed, spinning around and bouncing off of the ceiling. The artificial voice began talking again.

"Activating anti-gravity chamber protocol 0103: vice grip capture claws--initiate." From the walls around them, several huge steel claws emerged and headed for the defenseless castaways. Demyx squealed as one of the claws turned its attention to him and the still unconscious Xaldin. It grabbed on to Xaldin, but Demyx managed to wriggle himself free.

The group was swimming through the air, trying to reach the exit on the other side, when from out of nowhere, five people dressed in colored full body suits appeared.

"Maroon ranger!" announced the red one.

"Moss ranger!" exclaimed the green one.

"Aqua ranger!" said the blue one.

"Marigold ranger!" announced the yellow one.

"Bubblegum ranger!" declared the pink one.

"Together we fight the evils of the universe!" they shouted in unison, striking a cheesy pose.

"Dude! It's the Power Rangers!" Xigbar said in disbelief.

"Incorrect, my good friend! We are the mighty Rainbow Warriors!" the maroon ranger revealed dramatically.

"Pshaw, they're just cheap Power Ranger knock-offs." Xemnas scoffed dismissively.

"Knock-off or not, we will fight to protect the innocent!" the Bubblegum ranger cried.

Just then, a claw latched onto all five of the warriors at once, effectively incapacitating them.

"It looks like we weren't able to prevent the spread of evil." the Marigold ranger sighed sadly.

"But we still look good." the Moss ranger added, flexing his free arm and admiring his (fake) biceps.

"You guys are completely useless." Vexen scoffed as he passed them.

Despite their best efforts to escape the claws, the castaways were being captured one by one: first Saix, then Cid, and even Kairi.

"Don't worry about me; just keep going without me!" the girl shouted overdramatically.

"Alrighty then!" Sora replied with a wave as he continued toward the exit.

"I wasn't being serious, you dolt." Kairi muttered under her breath.

"Aaah! Move faster! One of the claws is coming right at us!" Merlin hollered. The ninja girl looked around and saw the claw in question, closing in on her and the wizard on her back. "Let go of me!" Merlin commanded of the girl. Yuffie complied.

"Do you have a plan to get us out of this?" Yuffie asked.

"Yep." the old man said. He grabbed the girl and threw her straight at the claw. "You be the decoy and I'll get away!" Merlin began to swim away through the air.

"Hey! Your' ankle wasn't broken!" Yuffie cried indignantly as the claw close around her. "And did I mention that I don't like this plan?!"

As they approached the exit, Axel shouted, "Someone's gotta open the door!"

"I'll do it!" Luxord volunteered. He grabbed on to a surprised Vexen and used the scientist as a kickoff, propelling himself forward and sending Vexen backward at the same time.

"Show some frikin' respect for your elders!" Vexen shouted menacingly. Then he was captured by one of the steel claws. "Damn it. Why does this stuff always happen to me?!" Vexen cursed.

Luxord reached the door and managed to get it open. He was then promptly grabbed by one of the claws. "Oh bugger." he sighed as the rest of his fellow castaways passed him by on their way out the door.

"Thanks for that!" Axel called as he shut the door.

"No problem." Luxord muttered sarcastically.

Once the door was shut, the anti-gravity generator shut off and the remaining castaways fell to the floor with a thud.

"I don't know about you guys, but I am really sick of all these doors." Xigbar confided.

"Are you kidding? This is more fun than a box of instant noodles!" Sora grinned.

"It looks like you're going to have to go through one more door." Zexion said as they came to yet another door (this one was decorated with some fearsome rainbows and unicorns).

Xemnas opened the door and they were met with yet another fork in the road, this time guarded by a woman smoking a cigarette.

"Yikes! A cancer stick!" Sora exclaimed as he swatted the cigarette out of her hand.

The woman looked surprised, but recovered quick enough. "There are two challenges that lay ahead of you--" she pointed to the two different paths behind her. "The right path leads to the classroom challenge, while the path on the left leads to the karaoke challenge. Both paths lead up to the same destination, you merely have a choice as how you want to get there.

"I wanna go karaoke!" Sora exclaimed, heading to the left path. The people who decided to follow Sora into the karaoke challenge were: Demyx, Leon, Aerith, Axel, and Xigbar. Riku Zexion, Marluxia, Xemnas and Merlin were left to take the classroom challenge.

"See ya later!" Axel waved to the others as they walked to the left.

"Let's go." Zexion took the lead down the opposite path and ended up in a small, quaint classroom.

"Please take your seats." the teacher said pleasantly. "Ansem?! You're out teacher?" Marluxia yelped in surprise.

The old man nodded. "Yep. Imogene is heading up the karaoke challenge and I'm leading this one."

Getting over their surprise, everyone sat down and Ansem passed out test papers and pencils. "This will be a test on various subjects including quantum physics, the anatomy of sheep, and how long the average person can listen to paparazzi stories about Brittany Spears without going insane." (AN: If you don't know who Brittany Spears is…you lucky bastard).

"What happens if we don't pass the test?" Riku asked.

Ansem grinned evilly. "Well, if destiny dictates that you loose this challenge, you will be faced with your worst fear..."

Marluxia squealed and clutched at his hair. "Not male pattern baldness!"

"Quit freaking out. I was talking about detention." Ansem rolled his eyes.

Marluxia chuckled nervously, letting go of his hair. "Hehe, I knew that."

"The test will begin in 60 seconds." Ansem announced, pressing a button on a little timer. Everyone sat waiting anxiously in silence for the buzzer to go off. After roughly 30 seconds of silence, Ansem got fed up with waiting. "Oh to hell with this shit! Ready set, begin the test!"

The sound of flipping papers and scrambling pencils filled the room for the next 20 minutes until finally, Ansem announced the end of the test. As he sat grading papers at the front desk, the group talked amongst themselves about how they thought they did on the test.

"I'm almost positive I missed the one about toothpick related accidents." Marluxia lamented.

"But what about that one that asked how to perform a proper exorcism? How was I suppose to know that?!" Xemnas asked.

"The test results are in." Ansem announced, shuffling the papers and putting down his pen (which was labeled destiny, of course). "And everyone passed with the exception of one person." The castaways each crossed their fingers and hoped that it wasn't them. "Marluxia, I'm afraid you have to stay for detention."

Marluxia gulped. Ansem stood up and walked to the pink haired Nobody. "Come with me please." he said.

Marluxia stood up meekly and followed Ansem through a door labeled detention. "Good luck, guys!" Marluxia said all teary-eyed as he walked through the doorway. Ansem pointed to another door in the classroom behind the teacher's desk. "Take that door and you'll come out near the exit." he said, then closed the door behind him.

"The exit?! Where?!" Xemnas exclaimed, already halfway through the door. The rest of the group ran after him, through the dimly lit tunnel. From up ahead, another door burst open and the rest of the castaways from the karaoke challenge burst out, coughing due to a cloud of smoke that was spilling out of the corridor they had come from.

"Sora? What happened in there?" Riku asked in concern, noting the terrified expression on the younger boy's face. Sora turned a tortured look toward his friend.

"D-don't make me relive it!" he sobbed.

"What happened to Xigbar, Leon and Aerith?" Zexion asked.

"They lost the challenge." Demyx whispered.

"What are you waiting for?! The exit!" Xemnas reminded them impatiently.

"That's right! Imogene said we were almost there." Axel remembered. Faced with their approaching freedom, the castaways got excited and began running again.

"I see the exit!" Riku yelled happily. As they approached the large door labeled 'exit--this time for realz', a random juggler appeared out of nowhere.

"Halt! I am your last challenge! You must fight me in order to pass!" he declared, as he juggled some cans of tomato juice. "Consider your luck gone, for you will never prevail over m--" he was thrown aside by a crazed Xemnas and fell unconscious as one of the cans of tomato juice hit him over the head. The castaways left the oppressive steel corridor and back out into the jungle.

"We're free!" Sora and Axel shouted in triumph.

"Excuse me, but none of you are free until someone claims the prize money." Imogene called from a platform some distance away. In a cage next to her stood all of the contestants who had been left behind on the obstacle course.

"No! They can't have my prize money!" Larxene insisted, trying to chew through the bars of the cage in order to reach the trophy.

"Give it up." Kairi sighed. Reminded of the objective of the challenge, the joyful atmosphere among the remaining castaways was replaced with a desire to win the money.

"You guys won't mind if I take the money, right?" Axel asked as he began to walk to the platform where the trophy of victory stood waiting for someone to claim it.

"I think that I should be the one to win since I'm your superior." Xemnas reminded the redhead.

"How about none of you win?" Merlin interjected as he raised his wand and everyone froze in place due to one of the magician's spells.

Still able to move his mouth, Riku shouted, "What gives?"

Merlin chuckled. "In case you forgot, I'm a Disney character myself. Why would I let you foil our plot to take over Square Enix?"

"So you've been a double agent all this time?" Zexion asserted coldly.

"But of course." Merlin began walking toward the finish line and no one could do anything to stop him.

"You mean…he's been tricking us?" Sora sniffed.

"Yeah. If he wins the challenge, we'll never leave. This really sucks! " Axel yelled vehemently.

Sora sniffed a couple more times then began to cry. Loudly.

"Argh! Will you shut up?!" Merlin screamed, covering his ears. The spell holding the castaways broke along with Merlin's concentration and without hesitation, they charged the old man, beating him to a pulp.

"Damn it! Merlin failed!" Imogene cursed, then looked to Ansem for directions. He sighed.

"It looks like we've lost--we'll have to send them home."

"Aw well, it was fun while it lasted." Imogene shrugged.

While the two hosts were conferring, the group had made it to the platform and were fighting over the trophy.

"Um…how long are we going to wait till we tell them that isn't the real trophy?" Ansem asked his co-host

Imogene grinned in a feral manor. "Oh, just a few more minutes." After Imogene had had enough of watching the blood bath in front of her, she cleared her throat. "Guys? The real trophy is right next to Demyx."

Everyone froze and looked next to the Melodious Nocturne. There, sitting on a little platform, was a small Ansem bobble-head trophy. Demyx snatched the trophy up quickly and held it above his head triumphantly. "I won!" he cried disbelievingly. The losers all kicked the ground in frustration.

"Congratulations, Demyx, you've won the title of Survivor: Malaguapu Island Champion, along with this." Ansem handed a check to Demyx, who took it joyfully.

"Woopie! I've won…75 cents?" he looked up in confusion. "Are you sure this is the right check? I thought the prize was 1 million."

"Well, that's a funny story. You see, the prize _was_ one million, unfortunately, Imogene used all of that money in order to construct that huge optical course." Ansem explained.

Imogene chuckled. "Sorry about that."

Demyx hung his head. "At least I won." he tried to console himself.

Ansem pulled a key out of his pocket and unlocked the cage with the other half of the group of castaways inside. As they walked out, Axel approached them.

"What happened to you two?" he asked Cloud and Sephiroth, already over his defeat. The two were covered in bruises; bite marks from what looked like crocodile teeth were scattered over their visible skin; their clothes were ripped, tattered and sopping wet. All in all, they looked like a complete mess.

"Don't ask." they seethed, refusing to look at each other.

"When do we get to go home?" Riku asked the hosts eagerly.

"There's a dock a couple of minutes from here--you can rent a boat from there." Imogene replied.

And so, the newly liberated castaways made their way to the dock where they found a rend-a-boat station. (Demyx sighed at seeing the tool boot that read: 1 boat rental, 75 cents.)

"Looks like our adventure is finally over." Kairi breathed, as she stood on the deck of the boat with Sora and Riku.

"It feels so unreal." Riku added blissfully.

"I'm gonna miss the island." Sora admitted, wiping away a tear. "We had such great times there."

"Speak for yourself." Riku scoffed, stuffing his hands in his pockets. The silver haired teen blinked and took his hand out of his pocket, pulling out Ansem's destiny flashlight. "Hmph. Guess if forgot to give this back to Ansem. Oh well." he shrugged, tossing the flashlight into the ocean. Before it hit the water, however, a dolphin leapt out of the water and caught it in its mouth. Riku stared after it in bewilderment. "What the…" he shook his head, reprimanding himself. "No, never mind, I don't even want to know. I've had enough random to last me a lifetime."

Back on the island, Ansem was waiting on the shore line when a dolphin holding his destiny flashlight in its mouth came into view and tossed it back to the man. He caught it and held it to his chest with a smile. "Never doubt the power of Destiny, my friends."

"Are you talking to yourself again?" Imogene asked.

Ansem turned around. "Oh, it's you. What's up?"

"The new batch is here." the girl grinned.

"Really?" Ansem asked in amusement. Behind them, a group of people were waking up on the beach.

"Mama mia, where am I?" Mario asked Princess Peach, who was sitting up beside him. (Nintendo characters, if you've been living under a rock) Bowser was there as well and he began throwing a tantrum. "Mario! I will keel you and take all of the power stars for myself!" he roared.

The green clad Link stepped between them and held up a hand, clearly meaning for them not to fight (why he didn't just say it, I have no idea).

Imogene stepped up, hardly able to contain herself any longer. "Welcome ladies and gentlemen, to Survivor: Malaguapu Island…"

**_Fin..._**

* * *

That's it. It's done, finished. That feels good to say.

I want to say that I was conflicted over how to end the story. Though I like how it turned out, my alternate ending for those of you who are interested would have been...The castaways are on their boat ride home when suddenly, the captain orders them to evacuate to the lifeboats. They do so and the ship blows up as soon as they are safely away. As they are bobbing around in the water, a speed boat drives by and Ashton Kutcher pops out, yelling that they've been punked. Then he leaves them without any means to get home aside from their own paddles.

That ending would truly have sucked for them.

Now, a special thanks to those of you who gave me inspiration/ideas: (There were probably more, but I don't have their names)

**pshhnerdmuch Choco rush Axeltheomegawriter Kee Blayd**

**Firestorm Studios Mikoto-cat Queen Egg 79**

Much lurve to ya all sends virtual flowers.

Sadly, I probably won't be updating any long-term stories for a while, but I don't intend to stay gone forever. So hopefully, I'll see you all again sometime!

May Sora and all his friends stay in your thoughts forever,

This has been,

**Princess of Oblivion**


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